


Still Good

by legallyblained



Category: Glee
Genre: AU, Bakery AU, M/M, Single Dads AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 16:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2031333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legallyblained/pseuds/legallyblained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.</i>
</p>
<p>Kurt and Blaine are both single dads, and their complicated lives end up getting tangled together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_'I'm going to need an inhaler, because you just took my breath away'_

_'You rare desert flower me big pens we meet soon'_

_'Well, hellooooo...'_

Kurt grimaced. He knew this was a bad idea. God knows how he let Santana talk him into it. Now he had an inbox full of creepy messages and he didn't feel any less single. He heard a creak and changed windows on the screen.

"Hey, sweetheart. Can't sleep?"

The little girl in the yellow nightie shook her head.

"I had a bad dream."

He sighed. He may have been single, but he was far from lonely. He reached toward his daughter.

"Oh, honey. Come here, tell me all about it."

She crawled onto his lap and he hugged her close.

"I don't remember any more. I was just scared."

"I know the feeling. Well, don't worry, baby, I've got you now."

She closed her eyes, leaned on his chest and clung to his arm as he rocked her slowly and sang her favourite lullaby. He stroked her hair gently. He didn't think about these things any more. He was the one who could stop her being scared. He was her father. Just the two of them. This was his life.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"What's that?"

She was pointing at the screen.

"Why don't you tell me?"

She stared at the screen, full of greens and yellow swirls.

"Mai... is... six. But Daddy, I'm only five."

"Not for much longer. In three weeks, you're going to be six. Can you show me six?"

She frowned, counting on her hands before holding up four fingers and two thumbs. Kurt did the same.

"That's right, honey, that's six! Did you know that six is the perfect number of fingers for... tickling little girls?"

He nosed at her neck and prodded at her ribs, making her squeal.

"You're cheating! You're using more than six, that's not fair!"

He stopped tickling and held her close. He kissed her hair. She turned to look at him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to hug you. That okay?"

"Yeah. Love you, Daddy."

"Love you too. Now, let's get you back to bed, munchkin."

She thought about arguing. She thought better of it.

"Okay."

He hoisted her over his shoulder, making her giggle again, and carried her to her room. It was green, as she'd wanted everything to be lately, and her stuffed zebra was waiting for her on the bed. Kurt lowered her so she could push the covers back before sliding her beneath them. He knelt next to the bed.

"Now have you got Steve?"

It wasn't a typical zebra name, but she'd picked it as if it were the obvious choice to everyone but her father. 'Very well. Steve it is.'

She nodded, letting Steve's head pop up next to hers from under the duvet.

"Okay. Now, any more bad dreams and you let me know, alright?"

She nodded again.

"Good. Now, you need to go to sleep. You've got a long day tomorrow. Gimme a kiss."

She gave him a peck on the mouth.

"Mwah! Night, Daddy."

"Night, baby girl. I love you very much."

"I love you more."

He smiled and walked out, switching the light off on his way.

"Not possible."

He sank into his office chair again, clicking back onto the dreaded website. There was one new message.

"Hi. You're probably drowning in messages, but I thought I'd say hi. Twice. Just wondered if you'd want to go to a movie some time."

It sounded almost sane. Kurt clicked on the username (B-Warbler, a little weird but at least there was no 'horny' or '69' in it) and read the information.

**Recently divorced dad of two. I love music, theatre and I might as well confess I'm a secret reality TV junkie. I own a bakery in Lima, Ohio. Trying to keep an open mind about the whole online dating thing.**

The picture was cute. Dark hair, brown eyes, a nose that shouldn't have worked but did anyway. It was nice to see someone really smiling on here. Everyone else always seemed so serious.

He could hear Tana's voice in his head, telling him to go for it, but Kurt already had his hands full with Mai. He didn't want to risk having to take on someone else's kids, too. And recently divorced didn't sound too great. He hovered over the 'respond' button. He closed the window. He shut the laptop.

Not today. Not now. He had a long day tomorrow.

***

He probably should have tried to send a message to more than one guy. Maybe he shouldn’t have said ‘divorced’. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned the kids. Or the reality TV. He could give it up if he really had to.

No, he couldn’t.

He was hopeless at keeping anything a secret anyway. And he didn’t want the kids to be a secret. But that didn’t mean he wanted to let them in on what he was doing yet. He tried not to think about the lack of responses as he struggled through another awkward dinner.

“Kitty, honey, you’ve barely touched your food. Everything okay?”

His seventeen-year-old daughter pushed her broccoli around her plate.

“I don’t like it.”

“I do, Dad!” Zach spat out around a mouthful of vegetables. “It’s my favourite!”

Blaine grinned at him, wishing Kitty was eleven again.

“I know it is, champ, that’s why I cooked it! You need plenty of iron if you’re gonna kick butt tonight!”

“Yeah!” the little boy yelled, dropping his fork to give his father a high five.

“Mom would’ve done it better.”

“Mom can’t even cook, butthead.”

“Bite me, dork.”

“Guys, your mother’s a great cook. I just like doing it.”

Kitty snorted. Blaine turned back to her.

“Sweetheart, is that what you’re wearing tonight? There won’t be anybody to impress.”

“Gee, Pop, are you sure Zach’s little friends don’t have any sexy older brothers? Don’t you wanna bond with me over boy talk?”

“Kitty-“

“No, come on, Daddy, maybe there are a couple of hot dads you could sleep with.”

“Dad’s too old for sleepovers.”

“That’s not what Mom’s been telling me.”

“Honey, your mother’s upset with me. I can’t say I blame her. But whatever she’s told you, it doesn’t have anything to do with the two of you. We both still love you very much.”

“I’m not a kid. You can’t feed me that crap, just like you can’t feed me this.” She pushed her plate forward. “And I’m not going to that pathetic little play tonight. I’m going to a party. And I’m staying at Mom’s.”

Zach’s face crumpled.

“Kitty, your brother’s been working really hard for this. We’re going to support him. We can’t let that technicolour dreamcoat go to waste, can we buddy?”

“No. You promised. You said you’d come. I’m singing.”

“He’s been practising, and he’s amazing. He sang it for me last night and I cried.”

“Of course you did.”

“Yeah, dummy, because I’m really good and it’s a sad song!”

“Or maybe it’s because your precious dad is a pathetic faggot.”

“Kitty, go to your room.”

“I thought you were supposed to be nice to the kids when you got divorced-“

“I will not hear that word in my house, young lady, now go to your room and later we are going to the play as a family. You’re gonna support your brother because you love him and because I’m your father and I said so.”

“You say a lot of things, Dad. Like, ‘Until death do us part’, ‘in sickness and in health’, and ‘well, just until a nice dick comes along then I’m out of here’ - wait, you never mentioned that one out loud, did you Daddy?”

“Kitty. Your room. Now.” He stared at the table, breathing slowly, as she stomped up the stairs. Zach prodded a piece of chicken with his fork.

“Dad? Are you okay?”

Blaine forced a smile.

“Sure. Sorry for yelling.”

“You didn’t yell as much as her. What was that word? Faggot? What does it mean?”

Blaine winced just hearing it.

“Well, it’s just like when kids call each other names. You know how I told you about me? The fact that I’m-“

“Gay. Yup.”

Zach popped a piece of chicken into his mouth, nonplussed. Blaine smiled.

“Well, the word Kitty used is a horrible name for people like me. It’d be like me yelling at her for being blonde. It’s something she can’t change.”

“She could dye her hair. It’d look weird, though.”

“Yeah, it would. Just like me being married to your mom was weird, because I wasn’t being honest about who I was. I’m sorry it’s made them both so angry, but I have to be honest.”

“So you were lying before?”

Blaine frowned.

“Yeah, kind of. Because I didn’t like being this way. But if I’d never married your mom then I wouldn’t have the two of you, and I love you both more than anything in the world.”

“Even Kitty?”

Blaine tried not to smile.

“Yeah, even Kitty. I’m upset that she used that word, but I still love her.”

“Okay. I’m upset that Mom’s upset, but I still love you.”

“Awesome. Okay, we should finish up here, or we’re gonna be late. Is your costume hanging up?”

Zach was about to answer when he flinched at the sound of Kitty running back down the stairs.

“Kitty! I told you, you’re not going to that party! You made a commitment.”

“No! You don’t get to tell me what to do any more, okay, you’re the one who tore this family apart, not me! I’ll be back whenever I fucking feel like it!”

He dropped the dishes in the sink and ran after her, grabbing her arm as she opened the door. He slammed it shut.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that! Does your mother even know about this party?”

“She knows I’ll be at her place by the morning. She actually lets me have some freedom.”

“Freedom? No, no, you have to earn freedom, Kitty, you have to let your parents know where you’re going to be so that we know you’re safe, and so we can trust you not to do anything dangerous.”

“What, something dangerous like have fun? Like not want to kill myself from fucking boredom at some school play? And you’re one to talk about trust, Father, out looking for twinks while your wife waits at home for you-“

“I’m not talking about this any more. You’re not going.”

She glared at him. His hand stayed firmly on the door.

“If you don’t open this door, I’ll leave. I don’t just mean tonight. I’ll go live with Mom, and you’ll never see me again. Maybe I’ll call child protective services, tell them my pervert dad’s been grabbing me.”

Blaine let go of her wrist immediately.

“Kitty, that’s not funny.”

“No, what would be really funny would be getting them to take Zach away too. The one you actually like. Then we’ll be with Mom, and you’ll be in jail.”

“Is that really how you think this works? The courts placed you with me. I fought for you. This is your home.”

“Mom’s my home. You’re barely even my father any more.”

Blaine stood, speechless, as she walked out, slamming the door behind her.

“It’s okay, Dad. I only care about you seeing the play anyway.”

Blaine ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath before turning to face Zach.

“Honey, you do like-” _Living with me, right? No. You can’t ask him that. It’s not fair._ “your costume, right? It’s the right size?”

“Uh-huh. It’s awesome. All the other kids only get to wear one colour.”

Blaine smiled weakly.

“Good. Come on, let’s go. It’s time for your big debut!”


	2. Chapter 2

"Quinn, will you please pick up your phone? I know you hate me, but this is about Kitty. It's important."

"Dad!"

Blaine spun around to see Zach running towards him, still wearing the dreamcoat on top of his normal clothes. He probably wouldn't be getting him away from that for a while.

"There's my superstar!"

Blaine caught him and lifted him over his head before hugging him close to his chest.

"Was I really good?"

"Good? Honey, you brought the house down! Didn't you hear them clapping for you?"

Zach nodded, grinning.

"I tried to look for you, but the lights were too bright."

"Well I saw you, every second, and I loved it. I'm the proudest dad in here."

A voice piped up behind him.

"Excuse me, Mr Anderson, but I've got someone here who wants to congratulate you on your performance-"

He put Zach down so he could receive his fans with some dignity, and turned to see a man with a little girl hiding behind his legs.

"Wait, do I-"

"Oh, God... is it..." He paused to pretend he'd forgotten the name from the profile he'd looked at eleven times that day, "Blaine?"

"Wow. Yeah. Kurt. Hi."

"I swear there's a little girl back here, I'm not just speaking about myself in the third person."

"No, of course. You know, you don't have to talk to me just because we're both here. Not that I don't want to talk to you. Okay, this is really weird."

Zach looked at both of them in confusion.

"Dad? Is this who you're gonna be gay with?"

"What? Oh, God, this is just, no, this is my, uh, my friend-"

"So you're the famous Zachary Anderson?"

Zach blushed and nodded.

"You can just call me Zach if you want. I played Joseph."

"I saw. You were sensational. And my daughter thought so too, but she's suddenly gotten all shy."

"No I haven't." A muffled voice squeaked out from the folds of Kurt's coat. She peeked out. "Hi. You sang really good."

"I know. You don't look like your dad."

"That's because I'm from China. Daddy adopted me."

"Cool. Mine didn't."

"Okay."

Kurt glanced at Blaine and shrugged. He smiled and shrugged back.

"This is Mai, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, Mai." She waved before hiding behind Kurt's legs again. "She's adorable."

"She gets it from... some Chinese people. He's quite the charmer."

"Well, he certainly doesn't get that from his-"

"Mom!"

Zach let go of Blaine's hand and ran towards Quinn, who was waiting with open arms.

"How's my perfect little Joseph?"

"You saw?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

Kurt looked at Blaine. He opened his mouth to explain, but came up short.

"This is all pretty new, I take it?"

"You could say that. You could also say it's a big dysfunctional mess. Seriously, feel free to run away screaming."

"Are you kidding me? This is better than The Kardashians."

Blaine squashed thoughts of ' _did he remember did he look at my profile wow he's more handsome in person_ ' and smiled.

"I'm glad we could entertain you. I have to go fix some domestic stuff. Sorry. You're going to wish you never met me. It was nice speaking to you, Mai."

Mai stopped rummaging through Kurt's pocket and hid behind it again. Blaine marched towards Quinn and Mai stepped out from her father's coat to face him.

"He's nice, Daddy."

"Yeah, sweetie. He is. Come on, my gorgeous little chorus girl, let's get you some ice cream for being such a star up there!"

Kurt was just strapping Mai into her seat when he heard shouting.

"I should have known this would happen! Did it even occur to you to find out where she was going?"

"Quinn, you didn't hear the way she was talking to me! And maybe if you'd picked up your phone, we could have found her hours ago instead of you finally putting in an appearance when you feel like it!"

"Well if you hadn't lied to me for eighteen years then we wouldn't have a teenager to lose in the first place, so thanks a fucking lot!"

Kurt looked up to see Zach crying, being dragged along by his mother.

"Please stop fighting... Can't we just go home? I want to go home with Dad."

Quinn froze and stared at him. Kurt couldn't help feeling a little smug on Blaine's behalf.

"Great. Of course you've been poisoning him against me. I should've guessed."

"Let's not go down that road. We should just find our daughter and make sure she gets home safe. Come here, honey."

Zach eagerly ran towards Blaine, who picked him up again.

"Is Kitty okay?"

"She will be. She's just not answering her phone because she's mad at us, so we'll have to go get her. That means you might get to stay up a little past bed time, just like you always want, right?"

Zach shook his head.

"No. I want to go home with you and Kitty now. I want to go to bed."

"Blaine, why don't I take him? You know where all her little friends' houses are. You can drop Kitty at mine when you're done."

Zach buried his face in Blaine's shoulder, his frame shaking as he cried.

"Not tonight, Quinn. He's too upset. I'm sorry, Zach, but you'll have to come out looking with me. We'll make it an adventure, okay? Look, I can narrow it down to three houses. No, four." He pulled his phone out and redialled Kitty's number. "Kitty, if you don't call me back I'm going to find you and drag you out by your feet if I have to. You can't do this to your mom and me. We're worried sick." He put the phone away and took a deep breath, rubbing his hand over his face. "Right, if I give you the addresses can you find the houses? I'll give you the closer ones. Come on, honey, let's get you in the car."

There was a soft voice behind him.

"Excuse me?"

Quinn let out a single, snide laugh.

"Friend of yours, darling?"

"Kurt? I thought you'd gone."

"Well, I heard yelling. I figured it'd be great ammo for the next PTA meeting."

Blaine snorted.

"Do you really think you're funny? Our daughter could be in danger."

"Quinn, it's just a party. It'll be a few wine coolers and a cigarette between twelve of them. She just needs to learn that she can't run off like this."

"Sorry, I just- if you need somebody to take Zach while you go look for her, I could always look after him for a couple of hours. You can come and get him whenever you want. I'm on Sycamore Street. Number 24."

Zach's face lit up.

"So I don't have to come looking for Kitty?"

Blaine looked at Quinn.

"It's the easiest way. The sooner we get her back to yours, the sooner tonight is over."

Quinn eyed Kurt suspiciously.

"Fine. Zachary, honey, Mommy loves you very much, okay?"

"Mm-hmm."He let her kiss his cheek before taking Kurt's hand and dragging him away. "Do you have any ice cream? Dad said I could have ice cream for doing the play."

Kurt sighed.

"Darn. I only have triple chocolate. I hope that's okay."

Zach beamed.

"So how do you know him? Did you meet at some candle-lit glory hole?"

"Not now, Quinn. Let's just find her."

He wrote the addresses down for her. He was surprised the glass in the car window didn't shatter when she slammed the door. Another charming trait Kitty had inherited from her.

***

"Now, Blaine, try not to get distracted by the young boys if you find the party first."

Sometimes Blaine really hated technology. Particularly anything that made it easier for Quinn to yell at him.

"I'm not fighting with you, Quinn. Not tonight. I don't have the energy."

"Right, better save it for your boyfriend."

"I told you, he's not my anything. He's just another dad."

"Don't give me that. I saw how he was looking at you."

Blaine was glad she wasn't there to see him blush.

"He just came to tell Zach how good he was. Shouldn't we be talking about that? Our son just performed in front of the entire school. Or maybe we could discuss the fact that our angry daughter is out late, looking for a way to piss me off, and we have no idea where."

There was a pause.

"He really was good, wasn't he?"

"Yeah. Yeah, he was. I can't believe I'm not with him right now."

"I know you'll make it up to him, Blaine. He'll still adore you tomorrow."

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief. They may have been a tinge of resentment in her voice, but even now she couldn't deny how much he cared about the kids.

"I hope so. And you know he didn't mean anything before? About not going with you?"

"Okay."

Her voice was flat.

"He's had a long week. A long month. He was expecting a big celebration, not a fight. He just went with the only one who wasn't yelling."

"Fine. Hold on, I think I'm near the first house. Number eleven?"

"Yep. Josh. Most liberal parents I've ever met."

"I think that's your title now. Anyway, it's silent. All lights off. Any luck at your end?"

"It looks promising. I'll call you back."

"Good luck."

He hung up, pulled over and walked toward the house. It wasn't big or loud, but there was a couple sloppily making out on the front steps and that was usually a good sign.

"Excuse me, have either of you seen Kitty Anderson anywhere?"

"Wait, are you her dad?"

There was a spark of excitement in the girl's eyes.

"Yes?"

"Oh, shit," the girl giggled, "he's the gay one. You're the gay one!"

"Great. Could you take me to my daughter, please? Before I call the police and tell them about this little soirée?"

He doubted any police, even in Lima, would care about a few teenagers sneaking a couple of beers, but the P word normally did the trick.

"Right, sorry Mr Anderson, of course. Um, in here."

The boy followed close behind her, clinging to her hand, while she led Blaine into the house. He was younger than most other parents he knew, but he still felt old here. The music didn't even have any words. He walked into the kitchen, dark apart from a few candles, where half a dozen kids were sitting on the floor in a circle. He spotted Kitty in the corner, downing a bottle of something pink, looking thoroughly exasperated with everyone in the room. They seemed to be debating the existence of God. Even Blaine felt bored.

Kitty's eyes landed on her father, and she place her empty bottle in the middle of the floor.

"Guys, it's time to play spin the bottle!"

They all looked at her, noses wrinkled in confusion. A slender girl with long, brown hair pulled away from the boy who's nose she had been rubbing hers against.

"Kitty, I'm dating Jake. We don't want to kiss anybody else."

"Yeah," the boy next to Kitty chimed in, "and they're already making me feel queasy without having to watch anyone else going at it."

"God, Ryder, you're such a pussy. Don't any of you know how to have fun?"

Blaine stood with his hands behind his back and held back a smirk.

"I'm sorry, Kitty, am I interrupting your party?"

She groaned.

"Fine. I'll come with you. But only because this party sucks."

He rolled her eyes as she slurred her speech, but was grateful it wasn't worse. The others didn't seem to mind her leaving. Blaine put a hand on her arm.

"Are you okay?"

She jerked away.

"Don't touch me. It's not like you care, anyway. Just take me to Mom's."

***

She groaned as they hit a pothole.

"Sorry."

"You'll be sorry when I puke in your car."

"You're not going to throw up. You're not that drunk."

"Well maybe I would've been if there had been any decent booze at that stupid party. I'm so over seventeen-year-olds."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you before. But it's not an excuse. You can't disappear like that on me."

"You did."

"What?"

"You disappeared. You were this nice dad and you loved Mom and now you're different."

"Kitty, is that really what you think?"

She didn't answer. She turned to the window and closed her eyes.

"I'm still your dad. I've always been this. I-"

He reached out to touch her arm but she shrugged him off.  
"I'm sorry."

He pulled up by Quinn's house after a more or less silent journey. Quinn was waiting outside, shivering.

"Thanks for bringing her over."

"Don't worry about it. You two just get inside, it's freezing." He reached out to touch Quinn's arm, to do something to warm her up, but she flinched away. "Sorry. I-" He turned to Kitty, who was slinking into the house. "Get plenty of water, okay?"

She didn't look at him. Quinn saw his face fall.

"She's just doing it for the attention. All the books say so."

"I don't think there any books on this. She hates me."

"She's pushing you. Don't let her see it's getting to you, or it'll only get worse."

Blaine wrapped his arms around himself.

"Mmm."

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you-" she stopped herself. "Can you give Zach a kiss goodnight for me?"

"Of course. He was really happy to see you tonight, Quinn. I was too. You look good."

"These days that really doesn't mean so much coming from you."

"Sorry. You look fabulous."

She laughed. She couldn't help it.

"Much better. Night, Blaine. I'll bring her back Sunday?"

He nodded. She went inside. He got into the car. He leaned back in his seat, taking a minute to breathe and wipe away the rogue tear that had escaped. He shook his head, turned the key in the ignition and started the drive to Sycamore Street.

***

"Hey, come in," Kurt whispered. "You found her then?"

Blaine nodded.

"Desperately trying to get wasted on about three units of alcohol. Ah, to be seventeen again. Was Zach okay?"

"Yeah, he was great, no problem. I may have to replenish my ice cream supplies, but he said please and thank you. That's not an easy face to say no to."

"I know what you mean. I take it he's asleep?"

"Yeah. I put him in my bed - I hope that's okay."

"Sure. I just can't believe I had to leave him tonight. I can't even be mad at Kitty- God, you don't want to get involved in all this. I'll just get him home."

Kurt put a hand on Blaine's shoulder and ducked down to catch his eye.

"Not to sound too forward, but do you want a beer? You look like you could use a drink."

Blaine laughed, but the long blink afterwards made it look like he could have been crying. He doubted Kurt could be too forward when he'd been the one asking him out online a day ago.

"A beer would be great. But I'm driving."

"Right. I actually don't have any beer, so it's probably for the best. I have... coffee, tea, milk, or..." he peered into the fridge, "I could rustle you up a juicebox?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"Grape?"

Kurt nodded and tossed him a carton. They both sat at the kitchen table.

"So. How long's it been?"

"What?"

"Since you came out. Since you split up. It all seems pretty fresh."

"Oh. Almost two months. I should have expected them to take sides, really. Kitty's always been so like her mother, but Zach didn't seem phased. At least, not by the gay thing."

"I noticed."

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. That's kind of become a frequent thing. It's the fighting he hates. God, he looked so miserable tonight. I hate putting him through this. Even at our worst, when we were barely talking, we never fought."

"He's a great kid. He'll bounce back."

"I don't know. Sometimes it feels like I've put them all through this for nothing. It doesn't have to be this hard. Tonight, with Quinn, for a second it was like we used to be. Just parents. Kind of a team."

"Sounds nice."

"I don't know about nice, but it was familiar. It was simple."

"Hey. You can't go back on it now. You've already done the hard part."

"It doesn't feel like it. It just keeps getting harder. And now I have to go home, and put Zach to bed, and then I'm alone. I feel like such an idiot for trying the online thing, but I just-" He wanted to stop talking, but he couldn't, "I miss having someone there. Somebody to say 'oh' if I said something. Now I'm just talking to myself."

"Well, now you're talking to me."

"Mmm. Again, feel free to stop me. You offered babysitting, not therapy."

"It's fine. You've got to say it to someone."

"I guess I'm just not cut out for being on my own. I'm not used to it. And I'm terrified of what comes next. I don't know how to do this."

"Do what?"

"You know... Be gay. I'm clueless. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Blaine. Are you attracted to men?"

Blaine swallowed, avoiding Kurt's eyes.

"Yeah."

"Then you've got the basics down."

"And it's making my daughter hate me."

"Hey-"

"No, I'm serious. She fights me on everything. I can't remember the last time she spoke to me without hate in her voice. Except in the car just now - it was like she'd just stopped caring. She couldn't even look at me."

Kurt tried to think of something helpful to say; 'it'll take time' or 'she'll get used to it', but it didn't seem like enough. He hated when Mai was upset with him for a night, never mind two months of arguing.

He reached out to take his hand but settled for a comforting pat on the arm.

"I'm sorry."

Blaine smiled and paused to suck on his straw. Kurt did the same.

"I can't believe it. Of all the people who could have been there. I've heard people say internet dating is risky, but this isn't really what I imagined."

"Yeah, getting stuck with some kid eating all my ice cream while his dad drinks my kid's juice. What a nightmare."

"I told you you'd regret meeting me."

"Don't worry, I promise to tell you when I'm bored of you. Listen, I'm pretty much captain of the gay parents' club around here. Obviously when I say club I mean me, two lesbians, and my best friend from high school. They're coming for dinner next week. You should come."

"Oh, no, I've already outstayed my welcome. You don't have to-"

"Blaine, once you're in with me, you'll be completely safe from lynchings. I promise. Besides, we need someone to bring dessert, and you're a baker. This isn't charity. It's a ploy to get free cake."

Blaine smiled. _So he did look at my profile._

"Dessert. Right."

"Wednesday."

"Wednesday. I'll send the kids to Quinn's."

"Well, Zach's welcome to come and play with his biggest fan. And if Kitty wants-"

"Don't worry. She'd rather be with her mother. Maybe some space will do her good."

"It could do both of you some good. God, if she were five I would be so much more help right now."

"If she were five I wouldn't need it so much. Thanks, Kurt. I needed this."

"It was my pleasure. Zach was delightful."

"I meant-"

"I know."


	3. Chapter 3

"Zach! Have you made your lunch yet?"

"Yeah, I'll do it in a second!"

"Come on, you're gonna be late!"

Kitty shoved past Blaine to grab her coat from the hook.

"Dad, now that you're super concerned about where I am all the time, I'm won't be home til late. I'm going to Ryder's house to help him get over Marley by getting under me."

Blaine stood in shock before remembering what Quinn had said. He wasn't going to rise to it.

"Okay. Make sure you have your key to get in. Zach and I are going out for dinner."

She frowned.

"Where?"

"Just a friend's house, with a couple of other parents from the school."

"I'm not coming to take care of the kids for you."

"I didn't ask you to. Actually, if you want to stay at your mom's, I understand."

She fidgeted with her collar and neatened up her pony.

"Fine. Have fun at your tea party. I was going to stay at Ryder's anyway. His parents are out of town."

Blaine swallowed.

"Mm-hmm. Zach, hurry up!"

She frowned harder. No speech about making good choices, no 'not on a school night', nothing.

"Well. I'd better go. See you tomorrow, I guess."

"I put a muffin in your bag for breakfast. I know you didn't have any."

Her expression of contempt faltered for half a second before she rolled her eyes and walked out, leaving the door wide open instead of the customary slam. Blaine caught her looking back at the house, but she turned away as soon as he caught her eye. He shook his head and closed the door.

"Dad," Zach shouted with his toothbrush still in his mouth, "Am I gonna be the oldest one there tonight?"

"Yep. You'll have to set an example for the others."

Zach puffed his chest out proudly.

"Okay. I'm just gonna go spit," he garbled, "then we can go."

"Zach. Lunch."

He heard a him spitting upstairs.

"Oh yeah! Okay, two more minutes!"

Blaine snorted, jogging to the kitchen and grabbing the peanut butter from the cupboard.

*

Blaine willed the butterflies in his stomach to keep still as he knocked on the door.

"You've got the cake?"

Zach held the white box up for inspection. Blaine patted his shoulder and nodded.

"Dad, why are your hands shaking?"

"I... I'm cold."

"Oh. Well, Kurt's house is nice and wa-"

The door opened, revealing Mai on Kurt's hip, both of them shushing insistently.

"What's going-"

"Shhh! They'll hear you!"

"Who will?" Blaine whispered back.

"The others! We're seeking!"

"Oh," Blaine looked at Zach and mimed zipping his mouth closed. Zach did the same and nodded. They crept through the living room, looking behind the sofa, under the coffee table, and the four of them had a shared heart attack when two women and two children jumped out from behind the curtain, screaming.

"Don't do that to me, you guys! I think I just coughed up a lung!"

They all ran and Kurt and Mai, the women poking him until he squirmed and put Mai down so she could play with the boy and girl. Blaine and Zach stood back and watched as they laughed together: A hispanic woman, a pregnant blonde (who was clearly her partner from the way she smiled at her and put a hand on the small of her back), and their kids. The girl had dark hair and tanned skin, the boy blonde and pale. He quickly calculated who had which baby, but the way they chattered non-stop and laughed with each other showed him that they were just a family. A far more functional one than he was used to.

"So, you must be Blaine. I'm Santana, and the fat one's Brittany," one of them said, earning a slap on the behind from the other. "Sorry, the beautiful glowing sacred vessel slash baby mama."

"Much better. And is this the Zachary Anderson? I've heard so much about your performance last week!"

Zach blushed and stared at his shoes.

"Did you really sing in front of all those people?" The little boy asked, awestruck. "You must be really brave."

"Whatever, dummy, I could do that. I'm Elise, and that's my brother Benjy."

"Ben."

"Benjy-Wenjy!"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"All of you shut up! Are you ever coming to find us?"

Another woman had come into the room, holding hands with a little boy standing on her feet.

"We were in the bathtub. Mommy, we should hide in there next time, they'll never find us!"

"Okay. Can everyone forget what Henry just said?"

He smiled at the chorus of 'Sure, of course, no problem, the what-tub?' and gasped before running to join the other kids admiring Zach. Not only was he older than them, but in their school he was a celebrity. Rachel, as Kurt told Blaine her name was when all she could say was 'Ooh, is this him?', ushered the adults into the kitchen. Blaine glanced to see if Zach was okay, but he seemed to be enjoying his role as king of the living room.

A couple of hours, a bed-time and three bottles of wine later, and Blaine's stomach was sore from laughing so hard and eating so much.

"Okay, okay, I'm confused. Kurt told me this was some kind of gay parents' alliance, but you've got a husband waiting for you at home?"

Kurt was tensing up every time Rachel gestured dramatically with a wine glass in her hand, which meant that Kurt was tensing up a lot.

"Well, Mr Married-to-a-woman-for-a-million-years, I'll have you know I've been a proud supporter of LGBT rights since I was born."

"Gay dads," Kurt explained. "Rachel's as close to a gay man as you can get without being male. Or gay."

"Excuse you, I don't recall you complaining-"

"That's because you were hammered. Admittedly, I’m not an expert in the mating ritual of the straight person, but I would count ‘Ew, ew, get your boobs off me!’ as a complaint.

Rachel giggled helplessly, folding her arms over her chest.

"Leave the girls alone. They're trying their best."

Santana glanced at Rachel's bosom and shrugged. She turned to Blaine.

"So, Blaine, tell me. How much ass are you getting?"

Blaine spat out his mouthful of wine and started coughing uncontrollably.

"Babe, you can't ask him something like that. It's rude. He might be a bottom."

"Oh, sorry, my mistake. How much ass and/or penis are you getting?"

Blaine felt like his face was on fire.

"I don't, uh, I-"

"Give him a break, he just came out. But it must be nice not having to sneak around any more, right?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, now that you're not keeping any secrets-"

Blaine swallowed. His eyes widened as he looked around at the four faces staring at him expectantly.

"Wait, you think I- guys, I was with Quinn-"

They all frowned in perfect synchronisation. Rachel took his wrist.

"You mean you've only ever- with-"

He glanced around, looking for an exit or a sprinkler system he could set off, anything but have this conversation.

"Well, we were nineteen when she got pregnant. She was my- and then we got married so-"

Santana slammed her glass down on the table.

"So you've only ever had sex with women? No, wait, with one woman?"

Brittany hauled herself up and hugged him from behind. Rachel and Santana each took a hand. Kurt sat next to the clump of people, speechless.

"You mean this whole time you've known you were gay, you never acted on it? Not once?"

"No! I mean, I- she was my best friend. I couldn't do that to her."

Rachel blinked sorrowfully at him, squeezing his hand.

"Not even a blowjob?"

"From a guy? No."

He wanted to die. He literally wanted a crazed murderer to storm in and decapitate him, then leave promptly afterwards because he didn't want anyone else to get hurt.

There was a pause. They all glanced at each other while Blaine gazed deep into his glass.

"Does anybody want anything else to eat?"

They shook their heads politely.

"I don't know. Blaine looks ravenous-"

Kurt threw a roll at Santana's head.

*

"I'm so sorry about them."

"No, it was fine. Well. It wasn't. But it's over now."

"If it's any consolation, it means they like you. They haven't said an appropriate thing to me in twenty years."

"Oh. Great. It doesn't stop me feeling like an idiot."

"Hey," Kurt put a hand on Blaine's elbow. It was fleeting, but surprisingly comforting. "You don't have to. It's sweet that you never cheated on her. Noble, even."

"Hmm. Doesn't feel that noble right now."

"I promise they'll behave themselves next time."

"Next time?"

Kurt nodded.

"This is a weekly event. And anyone who can bring such a beautiful cake earns a season pass. Even if it is kind of cheating that it's your job."

"I'll have you know, I'd normally just grab a cake from the store. Tonight's masterpiece was crafted especially by my own fair hands."

"Impressive. Actually, speaking of baking, I don't suppose I could put in an order for a birthday cake?"

"Wow, you'll do anything to stop me leaving, won't you?"

"No, really, she's six in two weeks. I've got this whole thing planned, and I'm hopeless with frosting. Well, not hopeless, but I can't do animals."

"Animals?"

Kurt nodded eagerly.

"It's all planned. She's staying with Rachel and Finn the night before, and she's going to come home to a jungle. Jungle party, newly decorated jungle bedroom, jungle cake. Please?"

"Sure. Any particular animals?"

"There needs to be a zebra. Other than that, it's up to you. Oh, and it has to be nut-free. And chocolate."

Blaine grinned.

"A girl after my own heart. Now, my cab's been waiting for ten minutes, so if there are no more orders, my son and I will get out of your way now."

"Right, right, sorry."

The floor of Mai's bedroom was covered in mattresses and quilts where the kids all slept when they were there. Sometimes Finns would babysit, but they had a habit of tricking him into letting them stay up late and eat too much sugar. Only Mai and Zach were left now, and they were out cold.

"Come on you," Blaine whispered, bending to pick Zach up without jostling him too much, "time to go home."

Kurt held the door open for him. Thanks to the sleeping boy between them, they didn't have the awkward moment of handshake-or-hug. They gave each other a nod.

"I'm really glad you could make it tonight, Blaine."

"So am I. Your friends have boundary issues, but they're nice."

"I'll make them go easy on you next time. I'll try."

Blaine laughed.

"I'll believe it when I see it." Zach stirred in his arms. "Right, little man, let's go. Night, Kurt."

"Night, Blaine. Night, Zach."

Blaine shifted Zach so he could manipulate his hand into waving. Kurt chuckled one more time before closing the door.

Zach half woke up on the way home, and he snuggled into Blaine's side. Blaine bent down to kiss the top of his head when he heard music a street away from the house. He checked his watch. 2:34. He carried Zach into the house, covering his ears.

"Kitty! Kitty Anderson!"

He laid Zach on the couch so he hopefully wouldn't wake up, and ran up the stairs.

"Kitty! Turn that off! Your brother's asleep!"

"Make me!"

He barged in to see her twirling in the middle of the room, an empty wine bottle in her hand. 

He unplugged the stereo and stood in front of her, breathless.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"You were at a party. I decided to have my own. Want some?"

He tried to take the bottle from her hand, but she gripped onto it. The dizzy smile faded from her lips for a second as she glared up at her father. He took a deep breath and wrestled it from her grasp, and she started giggling and flopped onto the bed.

"Did something happen with Ryder?"

"No. Nothing. Asshole cancelled on me."

"Do you..." He shifted uncomfortably, "want to talk about it?"

She cackled.

"Like I'm gonna come to you for romance advice."

"Whatever, Kitty, that's no reason to do this. We have neighbours."

She snorted.

"You're gay and we live in Ohio. They're already gonna hate you a lot more than me."

"Right." He ran downstairs to get the biggest glass he could find, filled it with water, and took it up to her room. "I'm not dealing with you like this. If you know what's good for you, you'll drink this. Enjoy your hangover."

She kept staring as he closed the door. As a shiver rolled over her body, she buried herself under the covers.


	4. Chapter 4

Blaine had already started to hate Friday nights.

He hated the quiet drive home. He hated the empty house. He hated the lack of obnoxious bass thrumming through the ceiling and squawking cartoons and video games. He hated his voice being the only one there, nobody asking him to help with homework or asking for money to go the movies or just screaming 'Get out of my face'.

Tonight, however, he had something to keep him busy. He decided not to put any music on like he normally did. This required concentration, and he knew sooner or later he would have to train himself to cope with silence.

Butter. Sugar. Eggs. He'd bought a vanilla pod especially. He deliberately made a little mess as he sieved the flour. He wasn't sure why. He didn't when he was working. But birthday cakes were supposed to be fun. He remembered baking with the kids when they were younger, Kitty desperate to help him clean up at the end, Zach sneaking licks of the spoon, pulling at Blaine's sweater every five minutes when it was in the oven to ask if it might be ready yet, and maybe he should check again, and 'but Daaaaaad, I'm huuuuungryyyyy'. Maybe he just knew he would need something to do when this was finished.

He added the cocoa gradually, scooping batter out of the bowl and holding the spoon in front of his face so he could watch it drip back down in globs, making sure the consistency was perfect. He could have done this with his eyes closed, but it was for Mai. She deserved a perfect birthday cake. Kurt had shown him the drawings for her room, the same pale green but with vines and trees and animals, and the cake was going to be an edible version of it. He drizzled the batter into the tin, his tongue sticking out slightly as the spirals of mixture disappeared on top of each other. He smoothed over it with the spatula, bending down so he could see over the surface and make sure it was even. He allowed himself a taste of the batter left over, closing his eyes and humming to himself as he savoured it.

He started mixing the frosting as soon as the cake was in the oven so he could get the colours right, all of it as thin as nail polish: green fondant for the base, different greens and browns and blues and reds for plants and animals. He had paintbrushes for each one. Piping it on just wouldn't cut it.

Blaine cleared a space between the bowls of colour before slipping his hand into an oven mitt and the mitt into the oven, sliding the tin out and straight onto the cooling rack. There was something comforting about having all the equipment here he could possibly need. Whatever went wrong, a wonky leaf or a sad-looking monkey, he could fix it. Even if the whole thing got ruined, he could make a new one.

He eased the sponge out of the tin. He'd thought about cutting chunks away to make an 'M', but it felt like a waste of cake. He carefully laid the fondant over the top, pushing any creases out, scoring around the edge neatly. First, he picked up the brown. Trees, dirt, a monkey, an aardvark, a lighter shade for a lion. He left it without a mane. Zach could do that tomorrow. He moved onto the red and blue, painting flowers and birds and a snake coiled around a branch. A thin, brown vine ran all the way around the top, green leaves dotted along it. Giraffes and elephants may not be typical jungle inhabitants, but he painted them on either side of a tiger anyway.

He moved onto the top surface, picking up the pot of white he'd mixed. The zebra was nothing short of a masterpiece. Her stripes showed the contours of her muscles, the curve of her stomach and the joints in her knees, and her hair stuck out in tufts. Her eyes had just enough shine to stop them looking like a cartoon.

He carefully spelled out ' _Happy Birthday Mai_ ' in dark green letters, surrounding them with swirls and more leaves.

Blaine took a deep breath and stood back to survey his work. A smile crept onto his lips. He trusted baking. He understood it. He slid the cake onto the flattened box he'd brought home especially and folded it up, slotting the tabs in place as he'd done a thousand times before. He filled the sink with hot, soapy water, washing the left over icing away, wiping down every surface until it was spotless.

He felt acutely aware of his breathing as he surveyed the room. He wished Zach could be a little less tidy. There wasn’t a toy in sight. No evidence of children anywhere. He took a beer out of the fridge, tossing the cap in the recycling without looking, and sat on the sofa. He flicked the TV on and let his head fall back on the cushions with a sigh.

Blaine hated Friday nights.


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt’s front door was wide open, and Blaine and Zach were confronted by a wave of paint fumes as they walked inside.

“Kurt?” Blaine called out, “We’ve come to steal all your stuff and run away, I hope that’s okay.”

Zach giggled. They wandered through the hall to find Kurt in Mai’s room, a splotch of green paint on his cheek, putting the finishing touches on the tail of an exotic-looking, purple bird. He was singing along loudly to whatever was on the radio.

Blaine raised his eyebrows at Zach, who covered his mouth so Kurt wouldn’t hear him laugh. Blaine cleared his throat loudly. Kurt flinched and spun around.

“Blaine! You scared me – I didn’t hear you come in-”

“Sorry, the door was open.”

“Yeah, trying to air the place out. I’m an idiot.”

“Doesn’t look that way to me,” he looked around the room, “this is amazing.”

“It’s awesome! I wish my room was this cool!”

Blaine felt Zach tugging on his hand.

“You asked for outer space, mister, that’s what you’ve got.”

“Is that the cake?”

“No, it’s a bomb.” Kurt stared at him, wide-eyed. “Wow. I was kidding. Sorry. Zach, do you wanna go put this in the kitchen?” Zach nodded and scampered out. “Kurt. Why are you an idiot?”

“Because one night isn’t enough time. It won’t dry for when they get here. It’s not good enough. Don’t I get to see the cake?”

“No, it’s a surprise. And this looks fantastic.”

It was eerily like the cake: a monkey swinging from a branch, a mischievous looking snake slithering across the ground, trees, flowers, and a majestic-looking zebra next to the grey wardrobe – blending in as part of an elephant. Kurt had built a canopy over the bed, lined with fairy lights and delicate paper leaves. The ceiling fanned out from the centre, the light acting as the sun with golden and yellow rays spreading toward the walls. Blaine was stunned.

“But I still have to do the lion over there, because they’re her second favourite after zebras, and I wanted more plants and another snake and do you think there are too many animals on that side? Or not enough on that side? Are the colours even right?”

“Woah, woah, Kurt, stop panicking. She’s going to love it. Zach, you better not be eyeing that cake!” Zach slunk back in. “Hey, buddy, you know how you did the lion’s mane for me this morning?”

“Yeah. That’s why I was checking the cake. To make sure it was still there.”

“Sure. Well, how about you and me paint another lion? A bigger one?”

“Blaine, you’ve done plenty-”

“Are you insulting our lion-painting skills? Do I have to show you the cake?”

Kurt frowned. He knew Blaine was manipulating him, and not very well, but he really needed help.

“Hmm. Zach, do you think I can trust your dad to do this for me?”

Zach nodded.

“I’ll supervise.”

Kurt and Blaine grinned.

***

“Okay, sweetie, let’s go find Daddy!”

Even in her thirties, Rachel Berry-Hudson (‘No, Finn, it’s alphabetical, it’s traditional’) still had a knack for over-acting. The others waited silently while Kurt went out to meet her. Between them they’d managed to get everything finished, and now the only one who wasn’t at the party was the guest of honour. They smiled at each other while they listened to Kurt talking to Mai, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice as he walked her to her room.

“Okay, honey, be careful – mind the step. Alright… open them.”

Mai took her hands from her eyes and stood in awe, her arms falling to her sides. She stared at the bed, the walls, the ceiling, the zebra, her mouth wide open.

“We did the lion! My dad and me, we did it. Do you like it?”

She nodded. She felt the pairs of eyes on her and squeezed on her father’s hand, hiding her face in his paint-splotched sweater. He picked her up and spun her around so she could see every wall. She snuggled into his shoulder.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” Kurt whispered. “What do you think?”

She tried to hide from everyone else, but couldn’t stop gazing around her. She leaned in and whispered to Kurt so nobody else could hear. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her cheek, squeezing her until she squealed with laughter.

“Now, before this little monkey is let loose in here,” he tickled her side and she kept giggling, “how about some cake?”

***

Kurt’s coffee went cold as he watched Blaine and Brittany playing with the kids. Despite the bump, she had more energy than most of them, and they all loved having a brand new adult to pester, although Blaine held his own. Brittany painted faces and Blaine gave piggyback rides and the house was full of sugar-induced screams. A few years ago this would have been Kurt’s idea of hell, but he found himself sighing contentedly as his daughter and her friends laughed and sang songs and played games none of the adults could understand.

He jumped when he heard Rachel clear her throat next to him, and Santana did the same on his other side.

“How long have you two been standing there?”

“Long enough. You like him.”

“He’s great with the kids. I assume that’s what you mean.”

Rachel glared at Santana.

“Of course it’s what she means. Because anything else would be inappropriate.”

“What’s inappropriate is how good his ass looks in those jeans. Kurt, tell me you haven’t thought about it.” Kurt said nothing, and Santana gave Rachel’s arm a shove. “I told you.”

“And I told you, it’s a huge responsibility. He’s still going through a divorce, he’s barely out of the closet – he’s never even been with a guy before.”

“So he must be dying to try it out. Who better than Kurt?”

Kurt didn’t even try to get a word in. He knew it was futile.

“Santana, the man has children.”

“Rachel,” she mimicked her condescending tone, “do you know whose birthday party this is?”

“But the girl sounds like a nightmare. Do you really want to take that on?”

“Of course he does! He can handle anything that little bitchlet can dish out. Unless you don’t think he’s interested?”

They both stared at him. He feigned surprise.

“Oh, do I actually get to participate in this argument now?” They both stared at him with raised eyebrows. “God, you’re like a cartoon. Shouldn’t you have a harp and a pitchfork or something?”

“Kurt.”

“Hummel, any idiot can tell he likes you.”

Kurt couldn’t keep the satisfied smile from his face. He knew for a fact Blaine liked him. He’d memorised his message.

“Is there something you’re not telling us?”

“No. It doesn’t matter. Look, Rachel’s right. He’s going through a lot right now. He just needs a friend.”

“Mm-hmm. I’ve used the friend excuse before. What’s more friendly than, I don’t know, putting his penis in your mouth?”

“Santana! The kids!”

“Rachel, I could turn into a jellyfish right now and they wouldn’t notice. Look.”

She had a point. They were all too busy clamouring for Blaine’s attention, only to be disappointed when he turned to smile at Kurt instead. Kurt wanted to disappear as he felt a blush creeping up his neck and a nervous twist in his stomach. Santana bit her lip to stop herself grinning with satisfaction. Rachel gave Kurt’s elbow a squeeze, dragging him back down to Earth.

“Just be careful, Kurt. For Mai’s sake. She needs stability.”

Kurt resented the suggestion that he would do anything to risk Mai’s safety or happiness, but she had a point. It was so fast. He couldn’t bear the idea of bringing another man into Mai’s life only to face the possibility of her losing him. It wasn’t fair on her.

“He’s always careful. For once, being a stable, sensible grownup might actually be a plus. I know she needs stability, but he needs to have some fun – with someone who isn’t us.”

He looked from one woman to the other, then back at the party.

“Screw it. You can keep arguing if you want; I’m gonna go play with my daughter.”

***

Of course Blaine stayed behind to help clear up, while Zach sat with Mai drawing all the animals they could think of.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I don’t mind. I’m just glad she had a good time.”

“I can’t believe you had them all eating out of your hand like that.”

“I’m kind of an old pro when it comes to birthday parties. I’ve done cowboys, pirates, under-the-sea, but jungle’s new. It was pretty great.”

“High praise, coming from you.”

Blaine grinned, wiping a splodge of frosting off the counter.

“Listen, Kurt, I just- I really appreciate everything you’re doing. Letting me in on all this, taking care of Zach before… not mentioning our… initial contact. It could have been so awkward, but you’ve made it all really easy.”

Kurt stopped drying up. He smiled as he watched Blaine cover the rest of the cake, wrapping up a piece to take home for Kitty. Chocolate was her favourite too. Blaine felt Kurt’s eyes on him and stopped to look up. They stood for a second, eyes locked.

“Is there something on my face?”

“So you’d rather that never came up?”

“What?”

“The whole… ‘initial contact’ thing, if that’s what you want to call it.”

“Oh- yeah, I guess. I mean, I was just, but you’re obviously not- and I don’t want to screw this up or make it weird.”

“Shame.”

Blaine frowned.

“What?”

“It’s just that you’ve kind of ruined my line.”

“What line?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not allowed to mention it, so I’ll have to think of something else.”

“No, no, Kurt, you can- what were you going to say?”

“Oh, just that I never replied. And I figured I owed you a coffee some time. But forget it, I’ll try again next time I see you.”

“Wait, I- Kurt, are you-”

“No, not any more.”

“Oh. Okay, um. Never mind. I guess we should go home.”

As Blaine turned to the door to go and get Zach, Kurt reached for his arm.

“Stop, Blaine, I’m messing with you. Sorry. Would you like to go for a coffee next week?” He found himself speaking slowly just in case Blaine spooked. “No kids, no lesbians, just us.”

“So, you’re-”

“Yes. I’m asking you out.”

“Okay. Then I’m saying yes. Please. That would be great.”

“Great.”

“Great.”

Compared to Blaine he was supposed to be some kind of expert at this, but he realised how pathetically out of practise he was.

“So, I’ll, um – I’ll call you tomorrow?”

Blaine let out a nervous giggle and winced at how high it was.

“Sorry. That would be good. Yeah. Sorry.”

“So. You two probably need to get going?”

“So as soon as I clean up, you kick me out?”

“God, no, I meant- didn’t you say Quinn was dropping Kitty off-”

“Kurt. Kidding. Sorry.”

“Oh! Yeah. Haha.”

“You’re right though.” He picked up the slice of cake and started making his way into the living room. “Come on Zach, we’d better go home.”

Zach nodded.

“Okay. Mai, give him the thing.”

“No.”

“But you drew it for him.”

“Shut up.”

“Dad, Mai drew you a monkey.”

Mai blushed and pushed the picture across the coffee table. Blaine smiled and picked it up. She’d scrawled ‘Blaine’ across the bottom with three big kisses. 

“Mai, it’s perfect. You know, most people can’t spell my name, but you got it right first time.”

“Only because I told her.”

“Then I guess that makes you both super smart. Come on, we don’t want to be late for Kitty.”

“But Kitty’s always late.”

“Well, your mom’s driving her, so she’ll be bang on time. She’ll be really excited to see you.”

“Okay. Bye, Mai. Bye Kurt. Thanks for having me.”

“It was our pleasure.”

Kurt and Blaine glanced at each other awkwardly. Talking to kids was so much easier. Blaine thanked Mai for the picture and she thanked him for the cake and the lion on her wall, and Zach reminded her that he’d done the mane so she thanked him as well. As Zach climbed into the car and Mai was distracted by a cat in the street, Kurt took Blaine’s arm again.

“Thanks for helping today. I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”

He hesitated for a second, making sure the kids weren’t looking, before leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. Blaine sucked in a breath and his whole body stiffened for a second as he swallowed and tried not to blush too hard. He realised he was grinning like an idiot when Kurt reached to grab Mai’s hand before she could stray into the road to follow the cat, and he turned to check Zach had his seatbelt on.

“Yeah. Tomorrow. Great.”

He tried to ignore his heart thumping in his chest all the way home.

Zach leapt up when he heard Quinn pull into the driveway. He ran out to meet them and jumped into Quinn’s arms as soon as she got out of the car.

“Hi Mom!”

“Woah, there, you only saw me this morning!”

She clung to him anyway, barely keeping it together. Blaine came outside and she smiled at him over Zach’s shoulder before closing her eyes and burying her face in his dark mop of hair. Blaine tried to smile at Kitty, but she ignored him.

“Bye, Mom. See you next week,” she said sweetly before pushing past Blaine into the house.

“Mom, we went to Mai’s birthday party, and her dad had painted her room to look like a jungle, and we did the lion, and-”

“And someone had a lot of sugar, by the sounds of it. Did your dad make a nice cake?”

“Yeah, it was really good. We brought some back for Kitty, do you want some?”

“No need. I know how good it is.”

“Okay. I drew an elephant, do you want to see it?”

“You bet I do! Why don’t you go get it for me?”

She put Zach down and he ran inside. She walked towards Blaine, trying her hardest to keep smiling.

“I hope he never turns into a teenager.”

“Same. Do you want to come in for coffee? I’ve got that fancy stuff you like.”

Quinn paused.

“No. I’m not- not yet. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to- I know it’s weird.”

“It is what it is. So, everything’s okay with you? The party was good? And… Kurt?”

“It was nice. The kids had a great time.”

“What about you?”

“Quinn, you don’t have to-”

“I need to get used to it. He seems really nice.”

Blaine took a deep breath. He could see how hard Quinn was trying not to cry. He owed her honesty at the very least.

“He is. He can’t throw a birthday party quite like us, but he tried his best.”

She laughed.

“Remember Kitty’s… was it ninth or tenth?”

“The Italian party? God, that was a lot of pizza. And ice cream. It was a good one.”

“Until that Sophie kid puked ice cream all over the floor.”

“Oh, I’d totally forgotten!”

“Trust me, if you’d been the one cleaning it up you’d remember. I haven’t touched mint chocolate chip since.”

They both had a flashback of when she’d been pregnant with Kitty, eating every drop of mint chocolate chip she could get her hands on, and Blaine trying to keep the freezer stocked in spite of how little money they had. They decided not to say anything. There were some memories that they didn’t want to tarnish. Those first couple of years were sacred somehow, when they were broke and young and scared, when all they had was each other. If they brought it up they’d have to face up to how trapped Blaine must have felt, how he’d been lying the whole time, how it wasn’t as innocent and quaintly romantic as she’d thought. She’d always known it was naïve to see it the way she did, like it was them against the world, just trying to survive, but she just needed the young couple in her head to stay the way it was for now.

Zach came flying out again, shoving the drawing into her hand.

“See, Mom? There’s his trunk, and that’s his tail.”

“Oh, honey, I love it! Does he have a name?”

“Kurt.”

She and Blaine glanced at each other.

“Like Dad’s friend?”

“Yup. He can draw elephants too.”

“I’m sure he knows his way around a trunk.”

Blaine’s mouth fell open. She held in a smirk.

“Yeah. He decorates people’s houses. Isn’t that a cool job?”

“The coolest. Listen, sweetie, I’ve got to go, but can I stick this on my fridge? You can see it next time you’re at my house.”

“Sure. Dad, is that okay? Because Mai gave you her picture?”

Blaine was still in shock.

“Um, yeah. Okay.”

“Zach, maybe you better go and do your homework, since you didn’t do any last night?”

“Fine,” he sighed, “I’ll see you next Friday. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” she whispered as she bent down to hug him again, kissing his cheek. “Miss you already.” He grinned and went inside. She sighed. “I guess we should be glad he’s coping so well.”

“He does miss you. I swear.”

“I know. It’s just-” she shrugged. She knew he would understand.

“But ‘he knows his way around a trunk’? Seriously, Quinn? You can’t come in for coffee but you have no problem making dick jokes?”

She laughed, blinking a tear away.

“After all we’ve been through, are you really going to deny me a dick joke? You’ve got to give me this.”

Blaine opened his mouth to argue, but came up short.

“Fair enough. Can I request that you limit it to laughing at me and not him?”

Quinn gave him a knowing smile. It felt like a grownup was laughing at him for letting his hormones take over. It made sense; his first ever romance became a lifelong responsibility. He’d skipped the lovesick teenager stage.

“I can’t make fun of him? But we make fun of everyone.” Blaine smiled. It was nice still being a ‘we’ with her. “You must really like him.”

Blaine ran a hand through his hair and looked at his shoes before eventually returning his gaze to her eyes. It was terrifying how well she knew him. It made him wonder if she knew about him all along.

“Yeah. I think I do. I just don’t want to rush into anything. With the kids, especially the way Kitty’s been acting-”

“And last time you rushed into something you got stuck with me for eighteen years.”

He laughed. He shouldn’t have laughed, but that was how they worked.

“Yeah. Gross.”

“Look, I’ve got to go, but I’ll be here at four on Friday. And Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“I really am glad you like him. You deserve to like somebody.”

“You deserve to have somebody like you. Boobs and all.”

They finally managed a hug. It wasn’t as awkward as it could have been. It was all they really could have hoped for. He waved her off and leaned back against the door after he closed it, breathing a sigh of relief. 

He spotted Kitty staring at the fridge.

“You have a good time at your mom’s?”

“Mmm. How was the party?”

“It was great. All the kids had a really good time. We brought you back some cake, if your brother hasn’t already eaten it-”

He jogged into the kitchen to unwrap her slice.

“Oh. Thanks.”

She was less aggressive than usual. She seemed distracted. He handed her a plate with a huge slice of cake on it and smiled hopefully. She half smiled back, taking a bite. As soon as she tasted it, her face fell. Her stomach lurched. She felt stupid for getting emotional about a kid’s birthday cake, but it was the cake her dad had made just for her every year since she could remember. It tasted like her childhood and her home and her family and he’d made it for someone else’s little girl. Blaine tried to take her hand.

“Are you okay?”

She snatched her hand away, shook her head and ran to the sink, spitting out the mouthful and slamming her plate on the counter.

“I’m fine. Just- forget it. I’m glad she liked it. I’ve got to go change. I’m going out soon.”

“Wait, Kitty, what’s wrong? And where are you going? Do you need a ride?”

“Just out. And someone’s picking me up.”

She glanced at the fridge again before disappearing upstairs. Blaine started to run after her, but gave up. Was she really taking her anger out on the cake? This was the weirdest form of rebellion yet. He walked back into the kitchen, catching sight of the drawing stuck to the fridge. He smiled for a second, remembering when Kitty’s drawings were on there, when things were simpler. He looked to the staircase again as Kitty’s music started blaring from her room.

Thirty minutes later, he and Zach were practising long division in the living room when Kitty ran down the stairs, tight jeans, hair down, in a leather jacket he’d never seen before.

“Don’t wait up.”

“Wait, Kitty, who’s picking you up?”

“Just… a guy.”

“Kitty’s got a boyfriend!”

“Pipe down. He’s not my boyfriend. He’s nobody.”

They heard a roar from the driveway. Blaine looked out to see a motorbike.

“No. No way are you getting on that thing.”

“Good luck stopping me. He’s got a spare helmet. It’s fine.”

Blaine frowned, but remembered the dozens of people who’d said ‘the more you pull them back, the more they push away’. It drove him insane, but at least she’d be protected.

“Then at least let me meet him.”

“Jesus, I told you, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a guy. I don’t want to keep him waiting. Bye.”

Blaine watched, helpless, as she ran outside to meet the boy on the bike. He didn’t look like a boy, even with his head covered by the helmet. He looked at the house, but she turned his head back to her and gave his bicep a squeeze. He put a hand on her waist and Blaine could’ve sworn he was about to try to kiss her through the helmet, but she knocked on his head with a laugh and stopped him. He produced an extra helmet from his bag, and apparently insisted she put it on despite her eye-rolling. Blaine didn’t smile, but his shoulders sagged with relief. At least she was safe. He hated not meeting him. He hated the thought of him refusing to define their relationship. Maybe he just hated the idea of Kitty dating at all. He’d been almost giddy at the thought of the kids bringing dates home at some point, but it wasn’t cute and nervous like he thought it would be. It was a faceless guy who looked too old and who wouldn’t even come in.

“That’s not fair. I can’t make fun of her if we don’t even get to meet him. Do you think he’s got a really big nose? Or a stupid haircut?”

“I don’t know, buddy. I’m sure she’ll introduce us when she’s ready. Now, don’t think you’ve got out of doing question four. Let’s try again.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Are you sure you can handle this?”

“Blaine, I’ve done this a thousand times. I’m not going to run out of bread or set the place on fire or accidentally forget to smile at a customer.”

“Okay. Well I shouldn’t be more than hour.”

“You know, we don’t mind if you take all day off. If it goes well.”

“But what if you can’t reach something?”

Artie glared at him.

“I’ll get someone else to do it. I’m the master of manipulation.”

“What if there’s a rush?”

“What if you just kept stalling here and missed your date?”

“It’s not a date.”

“He specifically said he was asking you out. That’s a date, my friend. And you, Blaine, are stalling. Get out of here and I’m sure it’ll still be standing when you get back. If you get back. But like I said, if you’d rather spend the afternoon making out with your new boyfriend that’d be fine by me.”

Blaine still wasn’t sure if Artie’s enthusiasm was supportive or intrusive. Either way, he was blushing and getting extremely annoyed with the butterflies in his stomach.

“He’s not my- never mind. I’ll see you later.”

“Or not. Whatever,” Artie called after Blaine as he walked out. He straightened up his violet bowtie (part of the uniform. Blaine could have got rid of it years ago, but no) and wheeled himself to the counter. “Good afternoon, young lady, what delightful confectionery can I interest you in today?”

The elderly lady he was talking to let out a giggle.

Kurt was already in the coffee shop when Blaine got there. He gave a shy wave from his table and Blaine grinned too widely and hurried over. Kurt stood to greet him and they paused with space between them, all shy smiles and awkward hands not knowing what to do and no kids to distract them. They went for a hug, one-armed, a light squeeze at the end. They sat down and Blaine forgot to buy himself a drink until Kurt went up for his second. He wanted to slap himself for sitting there, drink-less, for almost twenty minutes, but Kurt laughed and touched his arm and his embarrassment was replaced by more nerves and a quickened pulse. Kurt paid for both of them (‘well I can’t just sit there flaunting my delicious drink in your face and not buy you one’) and they moved to a quiet corner instead of the middle of the store.

“I can’t believe I’ve never been in here before,” Blaine glanced up at the ‘Lima Bean’ logo on the pillar behind Kurt. “The bakery’s, like, two blocks away.”

“Wait, that’s your place? You’re Freddie?”

“Yeah. Well, no, I’m Blaine. Freddie’s the guy who gave it to me.”

“Is he your dad?”

“Oh, no. My dad’s allergic to wheat.” He closed his eyes, shaking his head and laughing at himself for a second. “You probably didn’t need to know that.”

Kurt laughed.

“No, I’m fascinated. Tell me more, about allergies or the bakery or whatever.”

“Well, that’s pretty much it, allergy-wise. I mean, I’ve got a cousin who doesn’t eat strawberries, but I think she just hates them.”

“The store, then. How come he gave it to you?”

“Pity, maybe? I worked there when I was in high school, then I got into the Cordin Bleu school in Chicago.”

“Are you serious? Blaine, that’s incredible!”

“It was for the first year. That’s where I met Quinn. We were inseparable for months, while I was trying to… figure stuff out. Then everything happened, and we moved back here. Her parents didn’t want to know, so we lived with mine for a while until we found our own place. Freddie let me come back here full time, paying me more than he should have. I think his wife made him go easy on me.”

“I’m sure you worked hard.”

“I did. I still do. I owe it to the place.”

***

\- 3 months earlier –

Blaine puts his arm around Celia as she looks around the store. It looks the same, smells the same, but he can see her heart breaking. It might as well be a prison cell without him. Her short frame shakes as she leans against Blaine. Her white curls are soft against his neck.

“I don’t know what to do. I haven’t been alone since I was in high school.”

“You’re not alone. I’m still here. Me, Quinn, this whole town adores you. You’ll never be alone.”

“Thank you, Blaine. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you today. Actually, I don’t know what we would’ve done without you these last few years.”

“I’m sure he would’ve coped somehow. He was tougher than you gave him credit for. And so are you. You can do this.”

“The thing is; I don’t want to. Not without him. You know, he was my best friend.”

“I know. I know you’re going to miss him, but you can’t close the place. It was his life’s work.”

“His. Not mine. You’ve put more hours into this store than I ever did.”

Blaine laughs.

“Only because I had mouths to feed.” She laughs too. She knows it’s not true. Blaine’s always loved it here, even when it was just a Saturday job. “And I guess working for you two wasn’t all bad.”

“We tried our best. Do you remember when you were, oh, it must have been… seventeen? The first time I let you and Andrew close up by yourselves?”

Blaine hums in nervous agreement.

“Sort of. It was so long ago.”

“I saw you.”

“Saw me… doing what?”

His voice has gone quiet. He knows what.

“I think you thought we’d already left. I’d just come back for my purse, and- I saw you kiss him.”

“Celia, I don’t-”

“Blaine. It’s okay.” She puts a cool hand on his cheek and looks up at him with wide, earnest eyes. “I understand.”

“You mean you-”

“I loved my husband. I’ll always love him. Like I said, he was my best friend. But…”

“I don’t- you always seemed so happy.”

She sniffs and tries to compose herself.

“I was. I have good friends, a nice life. I’m not unhappy. It was complicated.” Blaine nods. He knows better than anyone exactly how complicated it was. “There’s a reason I brought you here, Blaine.”

He swallows. His eyes are filling with more tears than hers. His hand shakes as it grips her shoulder.

“Please don’t tell her, please. I’ll do anything.”

She shushes him.

“Blaine, it’s okay. I wouldn’t do that to you. Freddie and I wanted you to have the store. You deserve it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We knew you’d look after it. I don’t want the responsibility, not at my age. As long as I can get free bread for life.” He laughs one short laugh. She takes both of his hands. “You’re a good man, Blaine. You deserve good things. You deserve to be happy.”

He blinks at her for a moment then bends slightly to hug her. It’s his turn to cry now. He sobs into the rough fabric of her black hat.

***

“And they never had any kids, so they left it to me.” Blaine couldn’t tell him everything. Kurt had already seen way too much of his emotional baggage. “Celia still adores the kids. She used to take care of them when we had to work.”

“She sounds sweet.”

“You have no idea.”

They got through an unhealthy amount of coffee. Blaine didn’t look at his watch once, hoping Artie was serious about letting him take the afternoon off. Maybe they weren’t ‘making out’, as his 35-year-old friend had put it, but Blaine would have been happy to keep listening to Kurt for hours. He got so animated when he talked about his work, as if every room was a mountain range. His eyes lit up when he tried to describe a certain colour or a sofa or a kitchen, but it was obviously kids’ rooms he loved most. He’d done nautical and dinosaur and Wild West, and Mai’s was clearly his favourite.

“And they wanted it all to be pink and princess but I managed to steer them towards something tougher, kind of a medieval thing with a dragon-”

“You painted a dragon in the room of a 4-year-old girl?”

“It shouldn’t matter that she’s a girl. And it was a cute dragon. I don’t know, it just bugged me that they were forcing this weird, in-need-of-rescuing mentality on her. I just ask the kids what they want, and it’s usually pretty different from what their parents say. I remember a little boy going really quiet when his dad told me he wanted a football theme, so I asked him to make me a coffee while I got the kid to help me take some measurements. I just talked to him for five minutes, and the room ended up being violet.”

“And the dad was okay with it?”

Kurt nodded proudly.

“I got him to think it was his idea. Something about being less obvious, showing confidence in masculinity, girls would like it more… I don’t know. But it made a worried twelve-year-old very happy.”

Just as Blaine was laughing, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

“It sounds great,” he said, sliding it unlocked.

“I just think they want to be heard. Even if it’s on something as small as a paint colour. They want to feel like they matter.”

Blaine’s heart sank when he saw the school was calling him.

“Sorry, do you mind if I-?” Kurt shook his head. Blaine turned to listen to the voice on the line. “Speaking.” He paused, nodding, and he froze. “She what? Do you know why? Right, of course, I’m so sorry she- yes. Yes, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Kitty?”

“Her principal. She got caught fighting with some girl at school. I have to-”

“God, of course, go. I hope she’s okay.”

“I can’t remember the last time she was okay. Kurt, I’m so sorry. This has been lovely.”

“It has. And you don’t have to apologise. Go bail your daughter out.”

Blaine smiled sadly, standing up then trying to move toward Kurt again to say goodbye properly, but he found himself completely flustered again. He considered a weird, awkward pat on the arm, but steeled himself and leaned in to kiss Kurt’s cheek. It was no more than Kurt had already done the week before, but it made him feel like screaming or throwing up or exploding or all three at once. He let out a sigh of relief when Kurt leaned into it and kissed him back, giving his elbow the slightest squeeze.

“Bye, Kurt. I’ll call you?”

“Definitely. And Blaine?”

“Mmm?”

“Don’t worry. You did fine.”

Blaine blushed and snorted, not sure whether to worry that Kurt was making fun of him or relieved that he felt comfortable enough to do it. He saw Kurt smiling at him, and it was so calm and genuine Blaine immediately forgot what he’d been so nervous about.

Then he went to school.

He’d never been called into the office before. Not even when he was at school. He felt so guilty walking in that he started to wonder if he was the one who’d punched a girl in the nose.

“Mr Anderson, please take a seat. I’m sorry we had to meet like this. Kitty’s been a model student until now, but you understand why I had to call you here.”

“Yes, absolutely,” he took a seat next to Kitty, who was staring at her lap, “I’m sorry it took so long.” He expected a quip from Kitty, but nothing came. “So… what happened?”

“It doesn’t matter. She was asking for it.”

“Kitty refuses to tell me why she attacked her classmate, a fellow Cheerio no less. I was hoping you’d be able to get some sense out of her.”

Blaine turned to his daughter, who still wouldn’t look at him.

“Kitty? What happened?”

“She was pissing me off. Wouldn’t shut her mouth so I shut it for her.”

Her usual air of cockiness was gone. She didn’t sound angry, just sad. Blaine wanted to hug her and take her home and bake her cookies, but he knew the man at the desk was expecting some kind of discipline.

“Mr Figgins,” he reached for Kitty’s hand where it was dangling over the armrest of her seat, and she let him hold it for a moment before pulling away, “you know this isn’t Kitty. Our situation at home isn’t exactly ideal-”

“There are a lot of students from broken homes here, Mr Anderson,” Blaine winced at the term ‘broken’. He realised it was a word they’d all have to get used to. They weren’t a real family any more. They were fragments. “But it’s not an excuse for this kind of behaviour. I sympathise with your recent difficulties, but Kitty needs to learn to control herself.”

She slumped further down into her chair. Her hair was a little loose. Her uniform was rumpled. She didn’t look hurt, not physically, but she looked broken. Broken home, broken daughter. Blaine felt an ache in his chest.

“Would you mind if we dealt with this privately? Does she have to be in detention or anything?”

“Normally, yes, but as this is the first incident of this nature, I suppose I can let her off with a warning. I suggest you have a serious talk with your daughter, Mr Anderson.”

Blaine could understand why Kitty had felt like throwing a punch. If he was talked to like that every day he’d get angry too.

“Right. I’m sorry for taking up your time. Come on, Kitty, let’s go.” Kitty looked up for a second but her eyes dropped again before they reached his. She stood up and marched out ahead of him. He ignored Figgins and ran after her down the hall. “Kitty? Kitty!”

“Can we just go home? Please?”

“Kitty, we have to talk about this. Please tell me what happened.”

“He already told you. I punched that girl in the face because I’m a psycho. Now take me home. I’m going to be late.”

“Is that boy coming over?”

“He’s taking me out.”

“Isn’t he a little old for you, honey?”

“Don’t say ‘honey’. You’re not that gay. And I told you, I’m over seventeen-year-olds.”

“I’ve called you ‘honey’ since you were two days old. And if you like this guy, I just want to meet him.”

“Well, he doesn’t want to meet you.”

Blaine stopped in his tracks. Kitty, a few steps ahead, turned to face him.

“Are you really that ashamed of me?”

“I thought you wanted to go home.”

“Kitty-” 

“I don’t want to be in this place anymore today. Can we please go home?”

They remained silent until they were almost back.

“I’m guessing you at least won?”

“What?”

“The fight. There’s not a scratch on you. I think losing a fight and getting in trouble for it must really suck, so I hope you won.”

“Is that supposed to be funny?”

“Maybe.”

“Not bad.”

“Thanks.”

More silence.

“You weren’t fighting about him, were you?”

“Who?”

“That boy.”

“Oh, God.”

“You know, you can talk to me about it if you want to.”

“Please don’t do this. I’ll jump out of the car right now.”

“I’m not saying invite him for dinner or anything, but it wouldn’t hurt him to come in and say hi.”

“Stop.”

“At least tell me his name.”

“No.”

“Kitty, I’m allowed to worry.”

“Cute.”

“I mean, are you two-”

“Dad.”

“Are you sexually-”

“I’m going to grab the wheel and crash the car. I’ll take us both out. I don’t care.”

“I just think that if he doesn’t respect you enough to at least be your boyfriend-”

Kitty burst out laughing. It was the first time Blaine had heard her laugh like that since Quinn left. He smiled as they pulled into the driveway.

“Trust me, Dad, it’s not like that. He respects me a little too much, if you know what I mean.”

He turned the car off.

“Oh.”

“No, Dad, you wanted to talk about boys, let’s do it.”

“Well, I don’t want to pry.”

“See, I think he worries because he’s a few years older than me. Like I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Okay.”

“And that’s definitely not the case.”

“Kitty.”

He almost started crying with relief. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d joked around like this. She definitely had her mother’s sense of humour. She seemed to be enjoying torturing him so much that he almost didn’t want to stop her. But he also really, really didn’t want to hear about the sex life of his baby girl.

“And I just don’t know how to show him how badly I want to-”

“Okay! I get it! You win!”

She smirked, walking through the door as he opened it.

“Thank you. Do we have any apple juice?”

“Kitty, wait. Even if I never meet this mystery guy, even if you’re… friends with benefits, or something way too modern for my old brain to understand… I just want to make sure you’re careful.”

She stopped rummaging in the fridge and looked at him.

“Careful?”

“You know what I mean. I trust your judgement, okay? I know you won’t do anything you’re not ready to do, but I don’t want you to get in any trouble.”

Her mischievous grin faded almost instantly.

“Trouble. Right.”

“You know what I mean, sweetheart. I have to give you the responsible choices talk. Honestly, I’ve never understood the casual thing, but what do I know?”

“Nothing.”

Her voice had hardened again. Blaine frowned.

“No- this is coming out all wrong. I just don’t want anything you do now to affect you for the rest of your life.”

“Fine. I’ll be super careful with my not-boyfriend, who won’t even let me ride his bike without, like, forty layers of protection, because God forbid I make some awful mistake and end up like you!”

She slammed the fridge shut and darted past Blaine and up the stairs. Before Blaine could even get halfway up he heard her door close with a thud and her music start blasting.

“Kitty!” He tried knocking on her door but the music was too loud. “Kitty, I just want you to be safe!”

The doorbell rang. He looked at the clock. Three thirty. Zach got a ride home with a friend on Wednesdays, and the mother was almost infuriatingly punctual. Blaine remembered he hadn’t called Artie to ask him to lock up.

“Hello?” a voice rang from the letterbox. “Sorry, Blaine, but we’re in kind of a hurry!”

Blaine ran down to let Zach in, smiling politely at the woman at the door glancing nervously at the huge amplifier that was Kitty’s room.

“My niece went through the same thing. They grow out of it.”

Blaine forced a laugh.

“Let’s hope so. Thanks, Julie.”

“No problem. Bye, Zach.”

“Bye, Julie. Sorry about that one.” Zach rolled his eyes at the ceiling. Julie’s nose crinkled and she grinned at Blaine. Blaine was grateful for Zach choosing that moment to be precious and distract one of the nosiest mothers he knew just when he needed him to. He closed the door and pulled his phone out, dialling the store.

“I knew it. What base did you get to?”

“Artie! I don’t have time for this. Just lock up for me, please?”

Blaine could hear him raising his eyebrows through the phone.

“Wow. Yes, mister boss man.”

“Sorry. It’s been a weird day.”

“Is that Kitty I hear?”

“Got it in one. I’ll see you Friday?”

“No problem. Good luck.”

“Dad, why does she have to play her music so loud? Can’t she hear it? Do you think she’s deaf?”

“I think she will be if she keeps this up. She’s doing it because she’s angry with me.”

“Oh. Okay. Can I watch TV?”

“Only half an hour, then it’s homework time.” Zach huffed but flopped onto the sofa, flicking a cartoon on. Blaine walked upstairs to knock on Kitty’s door again, but the music stopped and she shoved past him, keeping her eyes on the floor. “Kitty?”

“Fuck off.”

“Kitty!”

He grabbed her wrist and she spun around to face up to him, inches apart, her eyes wide and glistening and angry. She pulled away and he was scared enough to let her go.

“He’s waiting down the street. So you can’t drag him inside. I’ll be back late.”

“Kitty, please.”

He didn’t know what else to say. It obviously wasn’t enough. He stood at the top of the stairs, watching her leave. She left the door open again and he padded down and closed it, letting his head fall against it and taking deep breaths. He heard Zach laughing at whatever cartoon he was watching, and Blaine smiled, walking over and collapsing next to him, pulling him close.

“Did you have a good day, Dad?”

He didn’t know how to answer.

“Almost. How about we order pizza, then we’ll definitely have a good night?”

Zach punched the air.


	7. Chapter 7

Blaine folded the top down on the bag of cookies and handed it over to the woman on the other side of the counter.

“I don’t know how you do it, Blaine. I’ll probably see you in an hour after we’ve finished these off.”

The little girl clinging to the tails of her coat giggled.

“Must be that secret ingredient,” he said, grinning at them both. “And no, I’m not telling you what it is. Have a great evening, you two.”

He kept smiling as the bell on the door jingled when they left and more people came in. He liked work when it was busy like this and he was by himself. Not for the money, but for the noise, the bustle, the chatter and excitement of people choosing their pastries or cakes or just loaves of bread. There was something about buying bread from a bakery instead of a supermarket that really got people in a good mood. But it could have been the smells wafting out of the kitchen. Either way, he was managing to distract himself from the Kitty situation and having a great afternoon when his phone buzzed on the shelf behind him.

Normally he ignored it when it was this busy, especially on Artie’s day off. But Kurt’s name was flashing on the screen.

“Hey, Kurt, what’s up? Thank you miss, that’ll be four seventy-five. Have a great day. Sorry, it’s rammed in here. What’s up?”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called.”

He’d obviously been crying. Blaine froze.

“Kurt?”

“It’s Mai. I’m at the hospital.”

He turned his back on the queue.

“Oh my God. Is she okay? What happened?”

Kurt sniffed.

“She’s fine now, she just- I tried calling Rachel but she didn’t answer and- and I needed to hear a friendly voice, but- wait, you’re at the store, aren’t you? Blaine, just get back to work, okay, forget I called.”

“No, Kurt, wait- which hospital?”

“Lima General, but honestly, she’s okay now. I was just freaking out.”

“Kurt, give me twenty minutes, okay? I’m on my way.”

“No, I- thanks. Thank you, Blaine.”

“Don’t mention it.”

They both hung up and Blaine turned back to the customers.

“I’m really sorry, everybody, but I’ve got to go. Whatever you’re holding right now, it’s yours.” He shushed the elderly ladies as they thanked him profusely, refusing the bills they pushed into his hand. “Don’t worry about it, girls, I’m sure I’ll see you again soon. Just buy yourselves an extra cookie next time and we’ll call it even. I really need to lock up.”

***

Luckily, he still knew where the paediatric ward was. Kurt was hunched forward on a chair, holding Mai’s hand to his lips as she slept. Blaine walked up quietly and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, saw it was him, and rose to yank him into a hug.

They were silent for almost a minute as Kurt squeezed Blaine as hard as he could, crying into his shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here,” Blaine whispered as he hugged back, rubbing a firm hand over Kurt’s back and gripping his shoulders. Kurt’s breaths heaved out as if he’d been holding them for hours, which Blaine realised he probably had.

“God, I’m so sorry to drag you down here.”

Blaine pulled back to look Kurt in the eyes.

“Stop that. Tell me what happened?”

“I’ve told her. I told her a million times she can’t have nuts, but the teacher told me she traded with another kid at lunch, and- she couldn’t breathe, Blaine. She must have been terrified.”

“No more terrified than you. Kurt, she’s going to be fine. They’re tougher than you think.”

He winced as soon as he’d said it. He’d heard the same thing a thousand times and he knew it didn’t help.

“Everyone always says that. She doesn’t look very tough right now.”

“Kurt.”

“It’s just that- I was terrified when I adopted her, and so many people told me it was a bad idea doing it on my own, but now I just- every time I think I’m doing okay, something happens, something like this, and I feel like an idiot all over again. I can’t handle this on my own.” He knew it was pointless saying this, because he’d managed to keep her alive this far and he wasn’t just going to give her back, but now that Blaine was sitting here, so calm and together and knowing just what to do, he couldn’t stop himself. “I’m not enough. She needs more than just me.”

Blaine pulled Kurt in again, firmly gripping his shoulder and stroking soothing circles onto his back.

“You’re more than enough. And you’re not alone, Kurt, you’ve got Rachel, Santana, Brittany… and you’ve got me. I’ll do whatever I can.”

Kurt sniffed and pulled away, suddenly sheepish at the solemnity in Blaine’s voice.

“Well, hopefully you won’t have to do this again.”

He sank back into the chair, and Blaine dragged another one over to sit with him. Kurt reached out to stroke Mai’s hair. Blaine reached out to squeeze Kurt’s knee. They were quiet for a little longer.

“She’s so small. I forget how little she is sometimes.”

Blaine smiled.

“I know the feeling.” Kurt raised his eyebrows. “Kitty had to have her appendix out when she was seven. We thought she was just trying to get attention, because Zach was only a few weeks old and we were too tired to be any fun, so we just tried to distract her, but then she doubled up in pain and we panicked. She was in surgery an hour later.”

“Oh my God, was she okay?”

“Yeah. We just felt awful for not listening.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Blaine looked at him pointedly, and Kurt realised why he’d chosen that story.

“I know. We were trying to do what was best. That’s all anyone can do.”

Kurt put his hand over the one on his knee and gripped onto it, smiling at Blaine through tear-filled eyes.

“Mai’s going to be okay,” he repeated.

Kurt sighed.

“I know she is, but when I saw it was the school calling me, when I heard the word hospital, I really thought-” Blaine shuffled closer, putting his arm around Kurt’s shoulders. “I thought I was going to lose her.”

He closed his eyes and leaned his head on Blaine’s collar bone. There was a pause. Kurt let himself be held.

“I remember when Kitty woke up. I stayed at the hospital and Quinn went home to take Zach off my mom’s hands, and I barely slept. Just sat by her bed, holding her hand. Then I felt her fingers twitch and I started crying with relief, and she told me to stop embarrassing her.”

Kurt laughed.

“She must have been a great kid.”

“She was. Is. She’s still in there somewhere.”

“How do you do it, Blaine?”

Blaine frowned.

“Do what?”

“Stay so calm? Know what to say? How often were your kids in hospital?”

Blaine laughed.

“I don’t know. There’s a limit to how much you can protect them when they decide they want to be cheerleaders and stuntmen. I’m glad that one didn’t last long enough to break anything.”

Kurt took a deep breath and puffed his cheeks out, sliding down in his seat and tilting his head back.

“Well. Some second date this turning out to be.” Blaine looked at him, unable to keep the surprise from his face. Kurt tried to backtrack. “I’m just kidding. This is just-”

“I was just going to agree with you.” Blaine covered Kurt’s hand with his own. “Maybe something more conventional for the next one?”

Kurt blushed and smiled.

“Good idea. I’ll leave it up to you, seeing as I organised this extravaganza.”

“Stop taking credit for your daughter’s work. Don’t be that dad.”

“Sorry.”

They kept smiling and holding hands and watching Mai sleep until a nurse came up behind them.

“I’m sorry, but visiting hours are over.”

They parted as if they’d been caught doing something terrible, and Blaine grabbed at his wrist only to remember he’d left his watch at work.

“Wait, what time is it?”

“Four thirty.”

“Shit. Kurt, I’m really sorry, Kitty’s supposed to be meeting me at the store so I can drive her home. This isn’t going to be pretty. I’m so sorry, I’ve gotta run- shit, shit, shit-”

“No, I get it. Thanks for coming. I can’t tell you what it means.”

Blaine paused to smile at him, shifting awkwardly. It was all too abrupt and rushed.

“It’s okay. If there’s anything else I can do, let me know,” he called on his way out of the children’s ward.

***

He expected to see an angry daughter when he arrived. Maybe nothing there and an angry daughter at home. He found chaos.

The door was wide open, swinging in the breeze, the glass in the frame unbroken. He could barely see the floor. It was covered in food and shattered glass from the shelves that had been broken. The cash register was open, but he could tell nothing had been taken from it.

It wasn’t a robbery. It was someone with a key trying to do as much damage as possible. It was Kitty.

He stood in the middle of the store, hopelessly trying to take it all in. Jars of cookies had been smashed on the floor. Loaves of bread had been torn apart. There was a space on the wall where their family photograph had been taken off and thrown to the ground. He didn’t look at the broken frame on the floor. He locked the door, closed the blinds and picked up a broom.

Blaine forced himself to breathe slowly as he swept up. He tried to pretend it was a clean-up like he’d have to do any other day. He picked up the bigger things by hand then found the dustpan to get the rest of the debris. He hovered to get the last pieces of glass, and apart from the floury vapour hanging in the air, the missing stock, and the lack of glass shelves that should have been displaying it, it almost looked normal. He walked behind the counter and picked up the frame from the floor. He looked at the crumpled picture, smoothing it out by the register: him, Quinn and the kids, a couple of summers ago, at some barbecue. There was a splodge of ketchup on Zach’s shirt and it was a little blurry, but they all looked happy. They were happy. He looked around himself at the store and it looked so heartbreakingly empty. He used to have a family, and now he had an empty store and a lot of lonely Friday nights ahead of him.

His hand had started shaking as it gripped onto the photo and he turned his back to the counter, sliding down to the floor. He barely noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks as he imagined Kitty tearing this place apart, so angry and hurt and miserable and lashing out, and he was somewhere between sympathetic and furious. She knew how much the place meant to him. She wanted to hurt him and it had worked. Hidden in the, dark, empty shop which for once didn’t smell of fresh bread, he sat behind the counter and cried, clutching the photograph in his fist.

He put a sign in the window: ‘Closed until further notice. Apologies for any inconvenience caused.’

Kitty heard the door open downstairs. She waited for it to slam closed, but it clicked quietly. She grabbed a tissue and wiped the tears from her face, blowing her nose so she would sound relatively normal, and hauled herself out of her room.

Blaine was waiting for her when she padded down the stairs. She fixed his gaze and assumed an air of confidence, standing up straight.

“You look happy with yourself.”

“Where were you?”

“No, Kitty. Me first. I know it was you. Why did you do it?”

“You weren’t there.”

“I know. I was with Kurt, and I’m sorry-”

She snorted.

“Of course you were. Should have fucking guessed.”

“That word doesn’t make you sound clever, Kitty. I’m sorry I was late, but-”

“An hour late, Dad.”

“Yes. It was an emergency. Was there some sort of emergency that made you destroy my store?”

She paused. She’d practised this fight in her head but now it was all going wrong. She tucked her hair behind her ear and Blaine noticed that her hand was red and messily bandaged.

“I’m going out.”

“What’s that?”

She glanced at her hand and tried to hide it.

“It’s nothing. I… hurt it.”

“Come here. Let me fix it up for you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Now.”

He reached into a cupboard for the first aid kit. He took her wrist and carefully unwrapped the cut, which was deep enough to risk infection. He ran cool water over it and she hissed involuntarily at the sting. She didn’t speak, but his dad instincts were hard to fight off.

“Okay. I’ll just get it cleaned up and it won’t hurt so much.”

“Mmm.”

“Was it the broken glass?”

She nodded.

Any other time he would say something about karma, or ‘this is why you don’t play with sharp things’, but he didn’t have the energy to joke.

“Well, at least nothing’s stuck in there. Let me just-”

He gave it a wipe with some antiseptic and she winced.

“Sorry.”

She shook her head with the slightest shrug. They both knew he wasn’t the one that should really be apologising. He took a bandage out of the tin and wrapped it around her palm gently. It almost felt like any other scraped knee or splinter she’d had when she was little, except she wasn’t crying. They both wanted to more than they ever had before.

He tucked the bandage and rummaged around for a safety pin to hold it in place. He allowed himself a moment to hold her hand, using the pretence of checking it was okay; neither of them bought it but Kitty didn’t fight it. Blaine took a breath and looked into her eyes.

“Kitty, I-”

She looked cautiously hopeful.

“Yeah?”

They paused for a moment, eyes locked.

“I think you should go to your mom’s.”

“Oh.”

“Not permanently, not if you don’t want to, but- but we can’t keep going like this. You’re obviously unhappy here.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t want to make you stay where you’re unhappy.” She didn’t argue. “And honestly, I…” he hated himself before he even said it, “I don’t want you here tonight.”

“Dad-”

“You know you hurt me today. Don’t pretend you don’t know. I think tonight we both need some space.”

She pulled her hand away.

“Fine.”

“I just- maybe I made a mistake. Maybe you should have stayed with her. I thought you’d both be better off here but if you want to stay with her- we can just try it out for a couple of nights.”

She stared at her hand as she held it close to her chest.

“I’ll call her. I better go pack.”

She slid out of her seat at the table and made for the stairs.

“I was at the hospital, Kitty. That’s why I was so late. Kurt’s daughter had an allergic reaction and he was scared, so he called me. I’m sorry it made me late, but I had to go.”

He saw her knuckles whiten as she gripped the bannister. She looked at the floor.

“Oh.”

“I knew how he was feeling. He thought she was- it’s terrifying. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through that alone. Do you understand?” 

No response. She kept looking down.

“I have to pick Zach up from swimming. You probably shouldn’t be here when I get back.”

Kitty watched as he picked up his keys and walked out.


	8. Chapter 8

Quinn dropped Kitty back the next afternoon. She waved at Blaine from the car, and Kitty kept her eyes on the floor and went straight to her room. Blaine looked on helplessly. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

_Kurt: Just brought Mai home. All fine. Are you free tonight? X_

He smiled just remembering that Kurt existed, that he’d called Blaine when he needed a friend, that he’d grabbed him and hugged him without even thinking about it.

_Blaine: Wide open. You two could come over for dinner? No peanuts, I promise x_

He winced as soon as he sent it, realising it was probably too soon to joke, but his phone buzzed again almost straight away.

_Kurt: Maybe if she eats enough of them she’ll build up a tolerance x_

Blaine laughed.

_Blaine: Allergies are just psychological anyway. Glad she’s okay though x_

_Kurt: So am I. Is 6 alright? X_

_Blaine: Perfect. See you then x_

He debated telling Kurt about the store, but he didn’t want to scare him with his ridiculous family any more than absolutely necessary. He frowned. There was none of the usual throbbing bass coming through the ceiling. He steeled himself and went upstairs and knocked on Kitty’s door. She didn’t answer. He poked his head around the door anyway.

“Hey.”

She was sitting on her bed, reading. He couldn’t help noticing how small she looked. She glanced up at him for a second before returning her gaze to her book.

“Hi,” she mumbled, refusing to look at him.

He puffed out a breath and went to sit on the bed. They both stifled a giggle when he almost fell over, having misjudged the softness of the mattress, but he eventually managed to scoot up to sit next to her. They sat quietly for a moment, looking down. She closed her book and looked at her father. He put his hand over hers.

“We had to do that book at school.”

She lifted her copy of ‘The Catcher in the Rye’, feeling a need to turn it over in her hand once or twice.

“Oh. It’s kind of annoying. The kid’s a moron.”

Blaine shrugged.

“I don’t know. I always thought he was just lonely.”

There was a pause.

“Is she okay?”

“Who?”

“Kurt’s kid. Mai. Is she better?”

“Oh. Yeah, she’s okay. It’s scary how something a tiny little peanut can cause so much panic, but she’s home now.”

“Okay. Good.”

“Yeah, it’s good. Actually, they’re coming for dinner tonight. I want you to meet them.”

She raised her eyebrows. Half of her friends’ parents had split, and it usually took months for them to introduce anyone new. And it was usually nothing short of disastrous.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go to Mom’s?”

“Kitty, I’m sorry about last night. I just-”

“I know.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind me asking them over? If you don’t want to-”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Her phone vibrated on the side. Blaine saw ‘Idiot’ flash up on the screen. Kitty saw him frowning at it. “Dad? Can I take this?”

“Oh, right, sorry. Is that the boy?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘boy’. He’s almost twenty.”

Blaine’s mouth tightened for a second, but he forced himself to smile. He didn’t want to argue with her again, and he was sure she’d talk to him when she was ready. Well, the Kitty he knew six months ago would have.

“Okay. Fine. I’m going to go start dinner.”

“Cool. Remember, no peanuts.”

He grinned as he closed her door behind him.

***

“Dad, why are you so jumpy?”

Blaine sat next to Zach on the sofa, clearly putting a lot of effort into trying to relax.

“What? I’m not. I’m fine.”

Zach frowned.

“You’ve had dinner with Kurt before. He won’t be here for another fifteen minutes.”

“I know, but I want to make sure everything’s ready. Mai just got out of hospital. I want it to be nice.”

The little boy tilted his head.

“For Mai? She’s six. She’ll like anything.”

Blaine grinned and tickled him.

“Because six was so five years ago?”

“Hey! I’m almost two times her age! Quit it!”

“Fine. Look, Kurt’s been really nice to me the last few weeks, that’s all.” The doorbell rang. “See? It’s a good thing I was prepared so early.”

Zach seemed unconvinced, but he grinned and got up to open the door anyway to reveal Kurt putting Mai down, having picked her up so she could press the button. Blaine joined them at the door, said hello to Mai and smiled nervously at Kurt. They both glanced at the kids, who’d already lost interest in them and gone to sit at the table. Kurt smiled warmly at Blaine.

“Thanks for yesterday. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

“Don’t mention it. I know you would have done the same.”

They hugged, both pressing a kiss to the other’s cheek. It already felt natural, even if Blaine was silently keep count of the tiny pecks they’d had.

“So, what’s for dinner? I should probably warn you; you’ve already used up your quota of peanut jokes. If you say Chicken Satay I’ll punch you in the throat.”

“Good to know.” He forgot to answer the question. The idea of Kurt getting angry was weirdly distracting. He called up the stairs, “Kitty, could you come down please?”

“Your house is gorgeous, Blaine.”

“Oh, thanks. It’s not quite as well decorated as yours, but it’s home.”

“Don’t. I love it.”

Blaine was just starting to blush when Kitty emerged at the top of the stairs looking sheepish.

“Hi.”

Kurt beamed up at her as she walked down.

“Hi! You must be Kitty. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

She realised her father couldn’t have had a lot of bragging material for her these days.

“Oh. Sorry. Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

They stood a metre apart, unsure whether they could even smile at each other. She was sure he’d see her as the bakery-destroying teenage demon, and he really didn’t want to overstep any boundaries with the girl who clearly wasn’t okay with Blaine being gay, never mind ready to meet the guy he’d been seeing. Platonically. So far she didn’t look like she was going to stab anybody, just like she’d rather be anywhere else than here. Like she could burst into tears any second.

“So,” Blaine intervened, “dinner?”

Mai gasped as Blaine dished out the spaghetti.

“Daddy, look,” she whispered to Kurt, “he made my favourite.”

“I know, sweetie, doesn’t it look good? Blaine, how did you know Mai loves spaghetti?”

“Well, I had a feeling that only the best would do. You’re clearly a lady of excellent taste.”

He beamed at Mai and she giggled, hiding her face behind Kurt’s arm. Blaine had yet to meet a six-year-old who didn’t love spaghetti.

“My dad’s the best cook in the world.”

“Nuh-uh. Mine’s better.”

“Well, my dad has a bakery. I can have all the cookies I want, all the time.”

Blaine raised his eyebrows.

“That’s the first I’ve heard of it.”

Kitty pushed her food around with her fork as they spoke, staring absent-mindedly at her plate.

“Are you in high school?”

Kitty looked up in surprise to see Mai staring at her, wide-eyed. She’d never spent time with a real life teenager before. In her eyes, Kitty was a goddess.

“Yeah. Are you?” Mai shook her head solemnly as she used both hands to twirl her fork in her food. “Really,” Kitty feigned surprise, “but you’re so sophisticated.”

Mai, oblivious to her sarcasm, smiled before trying to fit a forkful of spaghetti almost as big as her head into her mouth.

“Mai, honey, unless you plan on unhinging your jaw you might want to try a smaller bite.”

“Come here.” Blaine automatically picked up her knife and fork and started cutting up the food on her plate. She sat back and happily let him carry on, still staring at Kitty in adoration. Kitty ignored her, watching her father help Mai, watching Kurt eat and occasionally glance at Mai and smile, Zach stuffing his face, and it all seemed so natural. Somehow Blaine cutting Mai’s pasta up for her was weirdly personal, something only a parent does, and Kurt was acting like it was nothing. Maybe it was nothing. All she knew was that she was the only one in the room who didn’t feel completely at ease, and it made her stomach churn and her limbs feel heavy.

“Kitty, aren’t you going to eat anything?” Mai asked. “Don’t you like spaghetti?”

Kitty stared at the scarily domestic scene in front of her, just as comfortable with each other as her parents had been when she was little, but with more stolen glances and smiles that they didn’t think she would notice. She pushed her plate forward.

“I’m not hungry.”

Blaine looked up, handing Mai’s cutlery back to her.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, I just want to go to my room.”

“Kitty, you just got down here. I’ve barely seen you all day.”

“I’m sorry. I just need to go.” She turned to Kurt and tried to smile, but it just didn’t happen. “It was nice meeting you.”

She slunk off up the stairs and shut herself in her room, not slamming the door, not turning any music on, just hiding. Blaine stared at the staircase in disbelief.

“Sorry about that. It’s been a weird week.”

“No, I get it. She seems tired.”

“She went crazy,” Zach added, mouth full, “She smashed up Dad’s store.”

Blaine winced.

“What?” Kurt asked, “When did that happen?”

“Yesterday. When I was late collecting her.”

“You mean it was because of-”

“No, Kurt, it was because of a lot of things.”

“Is she okay?” Mai asked, tugging on Kurt’s sleeve, “Shall I go and talk to her?”

“No, sweetheart, just finish your dinner. She’ll be fine.”

“She looked sad.”

“I know, baby. Sometimes people just need to be on their own for a little while, okay?”

They all kept eating and talking about anything that wasn’t Kitty. Zach told Kurt that he was going to middle school soon and how he was going to be on the soccer team and about swimming and geometry and everything that could possibly be inside the brain of an eleven-year-old boy. Even Mai was rolling her eyes, but Blaine was grateful for the distraction. The three of them barely got a word in and before they knew what was happening they’d all finished eating. Blaine’s mind was still whirring slightly about what had happened with Kitty. He just wanted to talk to Kurt alone before his head exploded.

“Hey, Zach, why don’t you show Mai your bedroom? Mai, you know how your room’s like a jungle? Well, Zach’s is like outer space. Does that sound cool?”

She nodded eagerly.

“Come on,” Zach said, not so much understanding his dad’s instructions as much as really wanting to show off his room, “it’s up here.” She trotted after him obediently, leaving Kurt and Blaine to clear the table.

“Blaine, why didn’t you tell me about the store? Are you okay?”

“It’s nothing really – some stock that wouldn’t have lasted anyway; some broken glass and stuff. I just need to go put up new shelves tomorrow and finish cleaning up and we’ll be good to go. You’d had enough to deal with yesterday.”

“And what about you and Kitty?”

Blaine ran the sink full of water as Kurt passed him the dirty dishes and picked up a towel.

“Who knows? I don’t know what to do. She just always seems so angry, and I can’t believe how rude she was tonight. She said she was okay with you coming here.”

“Some people just don’t like making small talk with six-year-olds. I wouldn’t have when I was her age. Blaine, maybe she really didn’t feel well. Thanks,” he said as Blaine passed him a wet, soapy plate to dry. “I mean, she didn’t exactly look proud of herself before.”

“That could be my fault.”

“I doubt that-”

“I made her stay at Quinn’s last night. I know I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

Kurt paused. The last thing he wanted to do was tell Blaine how to raise his kids, especially when he had so much more experience, but he knew if his dad had ever asked him to leave the house he’d have been devastated.

“Hey, you’re doing what you can. Just… keep going. Yesterday you told me you were mad at yourself for not listening to her when she was little. Listen to her now.”

“All I can hear is how much she hates me. Maybe it was selfish of me to keep her here. This has been their home for years; I wanted to give them some stability, but what if she’d be better off with Quinn?”

Kurt put down the pan he was drying.

“No, Blaine. There’s no reason she shouldn’t be with you. Just keep showing her that you want her here.”

Kitty lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She felt like an idiot. What kind of loon got this upset about pasta? She heard the kids go into Zach’s room. ‘Easy, tiger,’ she thought, ‘you’re too young to be a dirty old man.’ She thought about calling the boy, but knew she needed to apologise for leaving. She really needed to talk to Blaine properly, but for now she’d settle for him being slightly less mad at her.

She hauled herself to her feet and padded quietly to the stairs, but when she got halfway down she heard them talking.

“I’m just so tired of it, Kurt.” He’s tired of you. “I’m exhausted. This week’s been a nightmare. I’m so glad you’re here, I can’t even tell you-”

“Hey, anything that means I don’t have to cook.” Blaine laughed. Kurt put a wet, slippery hand on Blaine’s arm. “Seriously, whenever you need me, I’ll be here. You’re not on your own.”

Blaine smiled at Kurt for a moment, trying to absorb the warm, caring look in his eyes. He didn’t care that his hand was soapy; he rested it on Kurt’s waist and kissed him. It wasn’t a coy peck this time. As he leaned they were both almost embarrassingly aware of what was about to happen, that there was no way it could still be construed as just friendship, that they both had so many responsibilities and problems to take into consideration, but in that moment being careful came second to how badly they just needed contact, something concrete and undeniable. They didn’t want the safety net of being just friends. They wanted more, so they kissed, slowly at first then sucking in a hasty breath and stepping closer, getting both their clothes wet and not caring.

Kitty wanted to run away screaming because she wasn’t crazy about the idea of her dad making out with anyone, regardless of gender, but they pulled apart and all she could see was the dopey grin on Blaine’s face. She’d never seen him look like that before. He’d been happy, when he’d been playing with them or reading them bedtime stories or helping them make perfect dinosaur shaped cookies, but never like that. That smile was different. She covered her mouth and snuck back to her room, slumping back onto her bed, her eyes stinging. There was a timid knock at the door.

“What?” She snapped.

Mai crept into the room. Kitty couldn’t help being slightly impressed that she’d gotten away from Zach apparently without him noticing, but she wasn’t in the mood to humour any kids.

“I like your hair.”

“Whatever.”

“You’re pretty. And your daddy’s really nice.”

Kitty’s eyes widened, filling with tears she couldn’t explain.

“Get out.” Mai didn’t respond, her lip trembling, her fringe twitching a little as her blinking sped up. “Why are you just standing there? Didn’t you hear me? I told you to get out of my room!”

The little girl’s face crumpled and she ran downstairs. Kitty buried her face in her pillow. She gave it ten minutes before she got yelled at.

As soon as they heard a sniff and a creak on the stairs, Kurt and Blaine jumped apart. As much as they knew they didn’t have to feel bad, they didn’t want the kids to get too caught up in anything before they felt more established. Kurt saw that Mai was crying and ran over to her.

“Oh, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“She yelled at me.”

Kurt picked her up and brushed her hair out of her eyes. He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb.

“Who did? Kitty?”

Mai nodded and sniffed.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to see her room.”

Kurt looked at Blaine worriedly.

“You don’t have to apologise, Mai. She shouldn’t have shouted at you. Are you okay?”

She shook her head at Blaine and buried her face in Kurt’s shoulder.

“I expect she’s just upset about something else. Blaine, maybe we should go.”

“No, you don’t have to-”

“I think everyone’s a little tired. Especially this one.” He kissed Mai’s head and put her down, taking her hand. “Okay, honey, let’s get you to bed. You’ve had a long couple of days, haven’t you?”

She nodded, wiping her nose with her sleeve.

“I’m so sorry, Kurt.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t have come. It was too soon.”

Blaine noticed a slight change in Kurt’s expression. For the first time there was doubt there, some tiny part of him saying no, pulling away scared. He was stroking Mai’s hair without thinking. She sniffed and he frowned.

“No, it wasn’t. It was great. Mostly. I’m sorry.”

Zach ran down to say goodbye when he heard the door open, which they were both happy about if a little annoyed that it made covertly kissing goodbye more difficult. Luckily he gave himself the job of cheering Mai up with his current favourite joke (‘how does an elephant ask for cheese? PASS THE CHEESE PLEASE’, said with an arm waving in front of his face as a trunk. Mai didn’t entirely get it, but she laughed at his stupid elephant voice all the same) and showing her the basketball hoop on the wall outside. The worry had faded from Kurt’s eyes as quickly as it had appeared.

“Don’t be. Just talk to her. Call me tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow.”

Kurt leaned in to kiss him again, smiling softly against his lips. Blaine happily let his eyes flutter closed, stroking a hand lightly on Kurt’s hip. When they parted, Kurt cleared his throat and rested his forehead against Blaine’s. He looked up at him through his eyelashes.

“Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t want to hit the town, go to gay bars, live it up? See what else is out there?”

Blaine smiled and shook his head so slightly Kurt wouldn’t have noticed if it hadn’t made his own head move too.

“I quite like what’s in here, thanks.”

Kurt smiled.

“Good. So do I.”

“Really though, ‘live it up’? And there was me thinking you were cool.”

Kurt slapped his arm.

“I’m a dad. Cool’s been off the table for a while.”

Blaine laughed and kissed him again quickly before they ventured out to get Zach back inside and Mai in the car. Blaine’s stomach was flipping so much he forgot about Kitty as he and Zach stood in the doorway waving Kurt and Mai off. He ruffled Zach’s hair absent-mindedly before closing the door.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“No. Why would it be bad?”

“No reason.” He looked up the stairs and his warm buzz was replaced by a long sigh and an ache in his stomach. “Well, I think it’s bath time. Up you go, stinky; I’ve got to talk to your sister.”

Zach’s instinct was to complain, but he got the feeling it was a bad idea tonight. Before he ran upstairs, he paused to give Blaine a hug. He didn’t always know when to stop talking, but he took after his father when it came to knowing when someone needed comforting. Blaine frowned for a second, surprised, before hugging him back and kissing his hair and brushing it back from his face.

“See you later,” he mumbled, and darted off to the bathroom. Blaine smiled, then took a deep breath and followed him up, turning towards Kitty’s room.

He knocked twice, firm now instead of shy.

“Go away.”

He tried to open the door but she’d jammed a chair under the handle.

“Kitty? Kitty, I want to talk to you.”

She glared at the door as she sat cross-legged on her bed hugging a cushion.

“Well, I don’t want to talk to you. Just like I didn’t want to talk to that brat. They’re nothing to do with me; why should I have to deal with them?”

“Because he’s- he’s my friend. I care about him and I care about you and I just wanted you to meet him.”

“Well, I’ve met him now. What’s one more queen strutting around the house?”

“Kitty!”

“I mean, I get that you’re gay, but do you have to go that gay? Isn’t there, like, an introductory phase?”

“Stop it.”

“Why don’t you get it? I don’t want to be a part of it! I just want you to leave me alone!”

“Kitty, I’m your dad. We’re a family. You, me, Zach, your mom, and that’s never going to change, you know that?”

She knew it had already changed. She’d seen the smile on his face.

“Well, maybe I want it to change. I wish I’d never been in this family in the first place.”

“What is wrong with you?” He tried the door again, but it didn’t budge. “This isn’t you, Kitty. What’s happening?”

She screwed her eyes shut and leaned her head back on the wall, but her voice gave nothing away.

“I hate you! I hate you and him and his kid and I want you to leave me alone! That’s why I wrecked your precious store and it’s why I got into that fight at school. It’s because I hate you.”

She’d said it to him before, when she was little and he’d made her finish her peas before she could have dessert, and when he’d told her not to put play ‘hide the baby’ when Zach was a few months old, but now she was old enough to know exactly what it meant and exactly how much it hurt.

“Kitty…”

“Just leave me alone.”

He reached up to try the door again, but his hands flopped down by his sides. He held onto the doorframe to steady himself.

“Kitty, I- I just want to be honest with you. I won’t stop seeing him. I’m sorry if you don’t like him, but I do. I’m sorry.” He kept looking at the door, hoping for a response. None came. “Goodnight, Kitty. I love you.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Rude chapter! Masturbation and frank discussion of anal sex!! And Santana being super inappropriate!!!

Blaine felt considerably better after a few hours back in the store, fixing everything up. He'd already replaced half of the shelves, mopped the floor, stopped for a quick break when Kurt had brought him a coffee ('It's nothing; my office is only a couple of blocks away. No, Blaine, I promise I don't mind you being a little sweaty. I _really_ don't mind.') and now he was working on the main display case, which would be full of loaves and cakes and pastries on Saturday. Everything was running according to schedule, and he was just drilling a bracket into place and singing along to the radio when he heard a voice behind him.

"Someone's looking perky today."

Blaine spun around to see Santana in the doorway just as her eyes were dragging themselves up from his ass. He grinned.

"Hi! You just missed Kurt."

She ignored him and surveyed the shop.

"It's nice in here. I like stores that are daring enough to run with no stock."

"I'm just doing some… refurbishments."

"Just a thought – maybe have some bread in here. Anyway, I came to see you." Blaine frowned. "What? I like you. There's no reason we can't hang out, just us."

"Oh. Well, sure, if you want. How've you been?"

She smirked.

"Not as good as you, by all accounts."

"Sorry?"

"I called him last night to see if he could take the kids tomorrow when we go for our six month check, and I got a barrage of excited squawkings."

Blaine smiled and looked at his feet as he felt a blush creeping up his neck.

"Really? Um, your six month check? How exciting."

"Ugh, yes, Blainey, he likes you. I just want to know when you're gonna seal the deal."

Blaine started choking on nothing.

"When- what?"

She sauntered into the shop, swinging the door closed behind her, and leaned on the counter, stretching her legs out so her bright red shoes caught the light.

"Come on, Blaine, you know what I'm talking about. I need to know what Kurt's like in the sack. I need details. I lived with him for three years and all I heard was surprisingly good dirty talk and some groaning. I mean obviously there was blushing and a few guys walking funny and wincing, but no matter how many times I tried to walk in on him it never worked."

Blaine cocked his head.

"Why would you want to-"

"Who knows. Curiosity. Making it even for him walking in on me and Britt in the shower. Maybe I just thought it'd be hot."

"But you're a lesbian."

"Gee, thanks for that." She nodded slowly, her voice dripping with condescension. "I can still appreciate the aesthetic value of a beautiful man with a striking anatomy, even if it's not my weapon of choice. Have fun with that, by the way. You're in for a treat."

Blaine blinked helplessly for a moment then forced himself out of his stupor.

"Look, Santana, I've got a lot to do. And I don't think I should- I mean, I haven't even talked about it with Kurt. And we only kissed yesterday."

"And you're in your late thirties."

"Mid."

"You're not teenagers. You're not virgins. Are you really telling me you haven't thought about it?"

"Well, I-"

"I mean, you've been on what, three dates?"

"It depends how you define-"

"We'll just say three. Holding his hand in hospital definitely counts. If anything, holding out 'til date number four is a little prudish."

"Santana, shouldn't I be talking to Kurt about this? Not his friend who, if I may be blunt, has as much experience of sleeping with men as I do?"

She smirked. She liked Blaine.

"I like you. I mean, you're dead wrong, but you had the balls to say it anyway."

Blaine took a breath and shrugged a little.

"Uh… thanks?"

"No problem. So, if you've never done it, have you googled it? Just so you have some idea of what you're doing?"

He shook his head.

"I have two kids who are both better with computers than me. I've browsed, but I'm always too worried they'd find it."

"That answer was a little too fast."

"I get the feeling you don't like wasting time."

"Well-observed. Okay. Not to be blunt, but what do you know about anal?"

He blinked at her, still slightly taken aback.

"How was that not blunt?"

"Come on, I don't have all day. Did you and Quinn ever… experiment? Even for straight couples, it's a two-way street, if you know what I mean?"

"I really don't."

She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I mean, have you ever… inserted anything? You-know-where? I don't just mean with her. What about masturbation? In the shower or something?" His cheeks were getting darker and darker. She gave his shoulder what was probably meant to be a playful punch. Now he was embarrassed and his shoulder hurt. "No judgement here, cupcake."

"Cupcake?"

"You're a baker. I'm trying to play to your strengths. Masturbation is completely normal and healthy, Blaine - unless it's just because the thought of making love to your wife fills you with horror on account of her vagina and whatnot. Then it's a goddamn necessity."

He took a deeper breath and ran his hands through his hair. He went to check the door was locked before turning and leaning back against it.

"Fine. Yes."

"You finger yourself?"

"Jesus, it's not like I do it all the time, but I've…" he closed his eyes, "experimented."

"Great, so you're a bottom. I mean, you see yourself… receiving, rather than giving?"

"Do I have to choose?"

She shrugged.

"Don't think so. Judging from the noises I've heard over time, I'm pretty sure Kurt's cool either way."

"Santana, don't you have somewhere to be-"

"I've got the afternoon off. Let's talk lube."

"Santana!"

"God, you're right. Hygiene first. Now, are you familiar with the concept of douching?"

It took about half an hour. Blaine was bombarded with information he thought would be irrelevant to a lesbian, but she kept going and going until he thought she'd never stop. By the end it was just handy tips for spicing things up and stuff she and Brittany were into and things she'd just read about (did women just hang out reading about gay sex? Was that a thing?) and bondage and breathplay and something about how pinching the ears can increase the blood flow to the penis and how they would need a lot of lube, preferably silicone-based but water-based would work too, and obviously there was the matter of protection and 'I'm sure Kurt's squeaky-clean but you can't be too careful' and Blaine felt like he was going to pass out. But he settled for sitting on the floor.

"Wow."

She knelt next to him and patted his arm.

"You'll get used to it. From what I've heard you'll end up loving it."

He swallowed.

"If you say so."

"Shit, I've got to go. I said I'd run to the supermarket before I get the kids. See you at Kurt's on Wednesday, yeah?"

"Hmm?" Blaine asked, still in shock. "Oh. Yeah. Kurt's."

She gave him a peck on the cheek and a devilish smile and strolled out of the store as if she hadn't just given a thirty minute lecture on the literal ins and outs of anal sex. The bell on the door jingled and kept ringing in Blaine's ears. That was a lot of information to take in at once.

At least it definitely took his mind off everything with Kitty.

He hauled himself to his feet and picked up his drill. He took one look at it and had to put it down again. He saw screws and washers and basically the entire contents of his toolkit and wanted to ground to swallow him. Obviously he wanted to have sex with Kurt. He wanted to do everything with Kurt. The thought of it was enough to make his stomach jump and twist, half scared and half excited, and he liked it. But now it felt like he had to do all of it as soon as possible. God, wasn't he too old to be getting anxious about sex?

Then he remembered just how odd his sexual history was. He knew he was probably worrying about nothing but he started convincing himself he'd have to get over it. They couldn't just hold hands and make out forever. Even if that sounded really nice.

He knew he should be fixing stuff, but he decided to go back into the kitchen and bake something, just a carrot cake, just so he could do one thing without feeling totally clueless. He'd already taken a delivery that morning so he had everything he needed, and he knew it was wasteful to turn on one of the enormous ovens just for one cake but he didn't care. Just the smell of baking filling up the store again made him feel better, and as he was taking the tin out of the oven there was a ring at the door again.

"Hello? Blaine?"

Blaine emerged from the back room with a round sponge on a cooling rack to see Kurt, his smile peeking out from under his scarf. Blaine smiled back.

"Hey! Twice in one day?"

Kurt shrugged.

"I'm self-employed. I can come out for lunch with a… friend," he diverted his gaze from Blaine's eyes to the cake, "if I want. Blaine, you're supposed to be fixing that thing. Did you just make one cake?"

"There's no point making any more if I don't have a case to put them in."

"You see the flaw in your logic?"

"Yeah," he set the cake on the counter, "I don't really care. You want a slice?"

Kurt slid his hand onto Blaine's waist and smiled against his lips.

"Mmm, you bet I do." He kissed him, not deeply, but longer than he'd been able to before. When they finally parted Blaine was smiling.

"I hope you were talking about me. This cake doesn't deserve that level of enthusiasm; it's not even frosted."

Kurt grinned.

"Damn. I'm sure the cake will still be just as delicious as-"

He closed his mouth tightly. Blaine grinned.

"As delicious as…?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Let's cut it."

"You think I'm delicious?"

"Not any more. Give me some food or I'm leaving."

Blaine smiled but said nothing else. He cut them each a slice and they perched on the counter to eat.

"Good day?"

"Not bad. One lady came in and hired me to design her 'fucking mansion' as she put it. I liked her."

"Mansion?"

Kurt nodded, his mouth full of cake.

"Yep. She wants a pink room. A whole room just full of pink. It's not even a bedroom or anything. Its whole job is being pink. I can't wait."

Blaine laughed, spitting crumbs everywhere.

"It sounds amazing."

"So you've apparently made no progress here since I left. What have you been up to?"

"Oh. Santana came in for a bit."

"Santana? Did she behave herself?"

Blaine cleared his throat.

"Yeah, sure. It was fine. She said you told her about yesterday."

Kurt blushed and swallowed.

"Sorry. Should I not have?"

"I don't want you to keep my deliciousness a secret. Friends do this all the time, right?"

"Eat cake?"

"Yeah. And kiss when their kids aren't looking. We're buddies. Pals. Bros."

"Ew. So, would you rather be… something else?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Maybe we're too old."

Kurt ate his last bit and sucked the crumbs from his fingertip, looking into his lap. He turned ever so slightly to look shyly up at Blaine.

"I don't think you're too old to be my boyfriend."

Blaine grinned.

"Well, you sure know how to make a guy feel special."

"What?"

"Well, it's been a while. Last time I became somebody's boyfriend it was because she was pregnant."

"Are you saying you'd like it to be more special?"

"Yes," Blaine said after a pause.

"Very well," Kurt said, dusting crumbs off his lap and sliding off the counter. He stood in front of Blaine, between his legs, and took both of his hands. "Blaine Anderson. Would you please do me the honour of being my boyfriend? As long as we maybe don't tell our kids just yet? Or your ex-wife?"

"What about your friends?"

"It's probably too late for them."

"Okay then. Kurt Hummel, I would love to."

Kurt gave a little squeak of joy and leaned forward to kiss him. They got a little closer than they had before, Blaine's legs automatically opening to pull Kurt towards him. His hands stroked up Kurt's chest to rest on his shoulders and he felt Kurt's arms wrap around his waist, his palms flat against the small of his back so their bodies lined up closer together.

Blaine started to feel heat in his stomach, a kind of warmth he'd only felt on occasions where it hadn't been allowed. He'd felt it in this shop before, when he was just a sixteen-year-old kissing another boy, or when he'd let himself think about men while he was with Quinn, or when she'd taken the kids to see her parents and he'd been alone, free to think about what he wanted without giving anything away. But now it was fine. Now he was in the store with the blinds closed and this man, this gorgeous man, his boyfriend, between his thighs, holding him, pulling him close and pushing up to where he was sitting on the counter. Their hips were almost locked, and Blaine realised it wasn't just his thigh nudging against Kurt's hip. He slid himself back and closed his legs, making Kurt gasp.

"Blaine?" He swallowed, "Is something wrong?"

"No, god no, I just, uhm-"

He shifted uncomfortably and Kurt glanced down at the noticeable bulge in Blaine's jeans. He bit back a laugh.

"Wow, already? I knew I was good, but-"

"Sorry."

"What? It's fine."

"Kurt, we've been making out for, like, two seconds."

"Exactly. It means you're definitely not too old for the title of boyfriend. Look, if it makes you feel better," he glanced over his shoulder even though he knew there was nobody else there, and took Blaine's hand. He kissed him again and guided his palm down, and Blaine flinched when he felt it.

"Seriously? From that?"

Kurt nodded.

"I feel so bad. All these years you've been missing out on this. But if I have to get you up to speed, I guess I can deal with it."

He grinned and kissed Blaine again, and suddenly all Blaine could hear was Santana, talking about Kurt's sex life, how many guys there'd been, how waiting for the fourth date was 'prudish', and with coffee, the hospital, dinner, and- did this count as a date? They were alone and they were kissing. It felt like a date. He'd tried to dismiss her, but from the way Kurt was smirking she could have been telling the truth. What if Kurt was really expecting everything right now? Okay, maybe not right here in the bakery, but soon?

God, if one of the kids was going through this he knew exactly what he'd say, that they just had to be comfortable with whatever they were doing, that they should never feel pressured into anything. But he wasn't a kid. He was a thirty-eight-year-old divorced father of two who'd barely established that he had a boyfriend when he realised he was scared to have sex with him.

"Blaine? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Of course." He was shifting back on the counter and his legs closed themselves. "I'm great. Erection and everything."

Kurt laughed.

"Maybe I should stop distracting you. You've got a lot to do. Are you sure you're okay?"

Blaine forced a smile and nodded.

"Yep. Fine."

"You know what? We should go on a date."

"So, this doesn't count?"

"It can if you want it to. But maybe something at night. With better clothes."

"Why do I get the feeling you're not talking about yourclothes?"

"Because my clothes are perfect. Don't get me wrong – this look has its appeal," Blaine's polo was probably tighter than it needed to be, "but dinner, drinks, maybe dancing? I think that deserves at least a dinner jacket."

"You dance?"

"Oh, a little." Kurt decided his flexibility and perfect sense of rhythm could be a nice surprise later on. "How does Friday sound?"

There it was, that glint in his eye, the one that had been there for a second the night before and made Blaine shiver, but one rant about sex from an admittedly intimidating lesbian and it just freaked him out.

"Friday's good. Can we get someone to babysit?"

"I've got a few I.O.U's to cash in. Oh, Blaine, I should've asked, how's Kitty?"

Oh, God. Whatever was happening with him and Kurt, it was happening on top of everything between him and Kitty. Okay, that may have been a poor choice of words, but it was all overwhelming. Blaine had an urge to bake some more.

"She's… at school. I hope. She left early this morning. I didn't see her."

"Did you talk to her?"

"Not really. Not yet. Tonight, hopefully."

Kurt nodded, his hands skimming up Blaine's thighs and settling on his hips. Oddly, this was fine. This couldn't go anywhere. Blaine had always been tactile, and being close to Kurt – holding his hand, hugging him, all those casual pats and kisses – had all felt completely natural, because it was nothing he hadn't done a thousand times before and it was Kurt and it was nice. He already felt so at ease around him, as long as there was no possibility that it would require 'heroic amounts of lube', as Santana had so beautifully put it.

Kurt tilted his head.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes," he said a little too quickly, "I mean, it's just the whole Kitty thing. Everything's kind of a mess. Look, I should get back to work."

"Yeah, I probably should too. I'll text you or something about Friday?"

Blaine nodded. Kurt smiled, his nose scrunching a little, and gave Blaine one more lingering peck on the lips before leaving, turning back just for a second to give him a little wave goodbye.

"Bye," Blaine said to the empty room; then, after a pause, "Fuck."

Not only had he just officially gotten his first ever boyfriend, he'd also sort of almost touched his penis. Penises had definitely been involved. His apparently still was.

He looked down at his crotch.

"Really? Do you have to be the one thing here that isn't scared?"

He rolled his eyes. There was still nobody around. He had plenty of time and not much more to do. He slid off the counter and locked the door so no more lesbians could come in and scare him. The kitchen wasn't as warm as it usually was without the ovens running, and there was still a faint smell of baking and the hum of the fans and the buzz of the refrigerator, but the cool air was a welcome relief for his burning skin. He had no idea if his face was on fire because he was embarrassed or because he'd spent too much time thinking about having sex with Kurt, but he needed to take care of himself. He switched the radio off and closed the door and flopped into a chair, tugging his jeans open and grasping his cock (flushed and dark red despite being the least embarrassed thing in the room), and let his eyes slide closed.

The images flashing through his mind were varied to say the least, but they all revolved around Kurt. First things first – he pictured him shirtless. An excellent start. Shirtless Kurt kissing him, putting his hands on Blaine's waist, his hips, sliding past his waistband to squeeze his ass, also proved to work pretty well. It didn't take long for things to progress in his mind to his own hand being replaced by Kurt's, more kissing, Kurt becoming completely naked, just as hard as Blaine because they were still kissing, and he couldn't hold back a groan that was bordering on wanton.

He clapped a hand over his mouth even though there was nobody to hear him. Without realising he was doing it, his hand had trailed down to graze over his nipple through his shirt, pinching gently, and his mind started shaking things up. Before long he'd flicked through a dozen positions, all outlandish and pornographic and complete with sordid noises and heavy panting. He felt his buzz starting to fade; he frowned and had to twist his hand to focus. Kissing. Hands. Eyes. His arms pulling to no avail, tied to his bed while Kurt rode him into the mattress, head thrown back.

Blaine's eyes snapped open.

Dammit, Santana.

He closed his eyes again, biting his lip as his thumb swiped over his slit, catching beads of moisture and smoothing them down. As hard (don't) as he tried to think about sex, proper sex with Kurt, the only image that would work was his face, just Kurt holding him with flushed cheeks and lidded eyes, panting, whispering his name between moans of 'God, yes'. He couldn't quite figure out what was going on to make him look like that, but his own face was contorted into a similar shape as he grabbed a bunch of napkins from the side and came like he never had before. His whole body seized up, practically bent double, and for the first time he didn't feel guilty. He felt loose, a little sleepy, but not like he'd done anything wrong. For a moment he wondered if it was bad to think of Kurt in that way, but judging by his grin today he wouldn't have minded, and when he thought about him now he wasn't any different – still smiling and sweet and making Blaine want to hold hands and sing songs.

He tossed the napkins in the trash and fumbled to get dressed again. He gasped a little, still oversensitive, but dragged himself out of his seat to make himself decent and wander back into the shop. He picked up the drill, this time managing not to get any crude ideas, but before he could line the bracket up with the wall he saw the patch on the wall where the paint was a little more vivid than anywhere else, where the light hadn't been able to tarnish it because of the frame that had been in the way. The picture of his family.

Ever the conformist when it came to hygiene regulations, he gave his hands a thorough scrub before rubbing them over his face, cool and damp, pressing his palm to his forehead. He had to talk to Kitty tonight.

He got home to find a quickly-scrawled note on the fridge: 'Out. Be back late.' He tried to stay awake for her, but he was asleep on the couch when he heard her bedroom door close. Tomorrow. He could talk to her tomorrow.

Dinner on Wednesday wasn't as awkward as it could have been. If anything, he felt more comfortable around Santana now they'd crossed some kind of embarrassment threshold. He even dared to call her 'cupcake' a couple of times, earning a grin. He and Zach returned to an empty house and another note: 'Gone to Mom's. Back at the weekend.' He swallowed and took a deep breath. Fine. He could talk to her then.

"Dad?" a very sleepy Zach asked, "is Kitty going to live with Mom?"

"I'm not sure, honey. Come on, bed-time."

"But, Dad, I'm not," he yawned, " _tired_ …"

"Well, that's too bad, because I'm exhausted," he said with a sad smile. "Go."


	10. Chapter 10

"Dad, why can't I just come to Kurt's with you?" Zach asked on the way to Quinn's.

"Because it's Friday. You always go to your mom's on Fridays. She misses you."

"I know, but I like when we all go to Kurt's."

Blaine smiled, neatening up his bowtie and running a hand through his hair anxiously.

"I know you do. But Kurt and I are going out for dinner."

"Like on a date?"

Blaine wanted to kick himself. He was supposed to do this properly, sit Zach down especially and tell him much later on when they were more certain of everything, but he didn't want to lie to him.

"Well, um… maybe. Is that okay?"

"Uh-huh," Zach muttered, rootling around in his bag. "I think I forgot my toothbrush."

Blaine raised his eyebrows. That was easy. He decided not to question it, knowing he should make the most of Zach's nonchalance. It was unlikely anyone else would take it that well.

"I bet Mom has a spare somewhere."

Quinn was already waiting outside when they pulled up. Blaine got out to say 'hello' and give her a hug, but when she looked him up and down he wished he hadn't.

"Hey, boys. You're looking… very handsome, Blaine. Got plans?"

"Oh, I wouldn't say-"

"He's going on a date with Kurt. He took forever getting ready."

Blaine blushed. He and Quinn simultaneously avoided each other's gaze with an awkward laugh.

"Of course he did." She looked up at Blaine. "It paid off. I hope it goes well."

"Quinn, I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you properly-"

"Don't. It's fine. You really do look good, Blaine. Kurt's a lucky guy."

"You should meet him. Properly, I mean, not just by accident. I honestly think you'd get along; he's an interior designer, so you two could talk houses-"

"Honey, you're babbling. You don't need to set me and your boyfriend up on a play date."

"He's not my-" Quinn folded her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay. But it's only a recent thing, I swear. We were going to keep it quiet, but then Zach asked me, and I couldn't just-"

"Blaine, I don't think I've ever seen you this nervous."

"What? No. It's nothing. It's just dinner. Is Kitty here?"

"She's got Cheerio practise 'til 8. That coach really is insane. I think she's going straight to a party afterwards."

"You're letting her go to a party?"

"She's seventeen. Seventeen-year-olds go to parties."

"Not when they've committed vandalism."

"What?"

"She didn't tell you? That's why I sent her to yours last week; I couldn't deal with her after what she did to the store."

"What did she do?"

"Dad," Zach gave Blaine a nudge, anxious to stop them before they started arguing, "You're gonna be late. You should go."

"Zach-"

"He's right, Blaine. We can talk about this tomorrow. Just forget about it, have a great evening, and I'm sure Kitty's rebellious phase will still be alive and kicking in the morning."

"But if she's-"

"Dad, Kurt's going to leave without you."

"You should listen to him. He's probably the only stable person in this family. Go."

Blaine gave in. Quinn gave him a kiss on the cheek and Zach hugged him and waved him off enthusiastically. He took a deep breath and pulled away, unsure if there were butterflies or rocks in his stomach.

Kurt's door opened before he could knock, and Kurt's lips met his before he could even look at him.

"Hi."

"I- hi. Wow. Kurt, you look-"

Kurt shrugged.

"Oh, I just threw this on. You scrub up pretty well, too. Shall we?"

Blaine smiled in response and offered Kurt his arm, but Kurt snorted and took his hand instead, linking their fingers together.

"Too much?"

Blaine was blushing, so Kurt kissed his cheek as they walked toward the car.

"Not at all. I just don't want to wrinkle my jacket." Blaine laughed, and Kurt squeezed his hand. "And I'd rather hold your hand than your sleeve."

Blaine smiled and stopped walking so he could kiss Kurt again properly.

"I'm really glad we're doing this, Kurt."

It was Kurt's turn to blush.

"Me too."

Blaine willed the warm buzz tingling across his skin to overpower the heaviness in his stomach. He couldn't worry about Kitty now. Tonight was about him and Kurt.

Considering neither of them had been drinking ("Well, you're driving and I can't be the only one with a glass of wine in my hand or it'll turn into ten") they both felt incredibly dizzy. It could have been the sultry ambience of the restaurant, or one too many twirls while they danced, but the most likely cause was the fact that right now there was a limited supply of blood to their brains. They stumbled into Kurt's apartment, Blaine gripping Kurt's waist so that he stayed as close as possible, Kurt's arms slung over his shoulders and playing with his hair to see what noises he could pull out of him. Kurt flinched when he felt something move against his thigh.

"Shit," he gasped, "what was that? Are you okay?"

"M'fine, just my phone. Ignore it."

Kurt grinned and kissed him again, teasing his mouth open and pulling him closer while guiding them both into the living room.

"Let me just-" Kurt wriggled one arm out his jacket, still half stuck in it when they fell onto the sofa, giggling. "Sorry. You okay?"

Blaine nodded, kissing Kurt again insistently.

"Kurt, I-"

"Tonight was amazing, Blaine."

"It was. You're so, I just-"

Kurt's smile widened and he kissed him again.

"Thanks. You know, we could just," another kiss, longer, deeper, "take this," and again, "slowly. If you want. I don't mind."

Even as he was saying it, he was pulling his tie loose. Blaine steeled himself.

"I- I want you, Kurt. I do."

"I know. And I want you too," he kissed him again briefly, still breathless, "but we don't have to, I mean if you're not ready-"

He looked into Kurt's eyes, so understanding, like he could see Blaine's thoughts, like he knew exactly what was wrong and was choosing not to say it, too scared of embarrassing him or inadvertently rejecting him, and he felt completely exposed. He was so vulnerable it made him want to cry. He couldn't just stop. He didn't want to stop. He was thirty eight. Just because the idea of everything Santana had told him made him so nervous he could have thrown up, that didn't mean he wouldn't get into it if he tried hard enough.

"It's fine. I'm- I'm fine."

He kissed Kurt again, pulling the rest of his jacket off and brushing past his arm – God, that was a nice arm – kneeled, and swung his leg over Kurt so he was sitting in his lap. Kurt made a surprised squeak and grabbed Blaine's hips to steady him.

"Blaine, are you sure you're-"

Blaine rocked his hips down so the only argument Kurt could form was a groan. It was having all the obvious effects, but Blaine's whole body felt tense and uncomfortable. He gripped onto Kurt's shoulders and couldn't help when his hips stuttered forward again, grinding the two of them together. They both gasped at the friction, and just when he felt Kurt's mouth opening for him again, there was another buzz in his pocket.

"Sorry, I'll turn it off."

"You can answer if you want to."

He pulled the phone out and looked at the screen.

"No, no, I-"

He froze. Seven missed calls.

"Blaine? Blaine, what's wrong? Who is it?"

Blaine answered the phone.

"Kitty? Are you okay?"

There was a male voice on the other end.

"Mr Anderson? Is that you?"

"Yeah, this is Kitty's dad," Blaine shifted to sit next to Kurt. Kurt took his hand and stroked a thumb over his knuckles. "Who's this? Where is she?"

"She's- fuck- she won't wake up. I've called an ambulance, but, shit, I don't know what to do. Can you come here? We're at a party, it's on- what street is this? Listen, asshole, if you don't tell me what street we're on, I'm gonna rip out your spleen," there was a pause, and Blaine perched on the edge of the sofa, clinging to Kurt's hand as if it was his only source of strength. "Bridge Street. We're on Bridge Street, number thirty something."

It was muffled, but he could hear the boy saying Kitty's name over and over, begging her to wake up.

"Yeah, of course, I'm on my way. Call me again if anything happens."

He hung up and jumped to his feet, letting go of Kurt's hand.

"Blaine? What's happened?"

"I don't know, it's Kitty, she's unconscious. Fuck. I've got to go."

"No, Blaine, you can't drive like this. I'll take you."

"No, Kurt. Don't. I shouldn't even be here. Christ, if I hadn't come here, if I hadn't… fuck…"

"Blaine, this isn't your fault. Come on, tell me where to go and we'll go-"

"No, Kurt, just stop. Stop pushing me. This is my family and my daughter and I have to take care of her. This is just- it's too much, okay, it's too fast and I can't do it. I can't do this, I can't be here when she's out there, I can't, Kurt, I just-"

Kurt took his hand again and Blaine grabbed him, throwing his arms around his waist and burying his face in his shoulder. Kurt wrapped his arms around him, cocooning him, giving him all the protection he could.

"It's okay, Blaine."

"If she's not okay- I- I'll never forgive myself-"

"She will be. And you'll be there. It's going to be alright. Let's go."

The whole journey, Blaine used one hand to hold his phone and the other to cling to Kurt's thigh. They finally made it to the right street, and it was obvious which house they wanted by the ambulance outside.

"Oh, shit. Shit, Kurt, that's for her."

"That's good, Blaine. They'll look after her."

Blaine nodded silently as Kurt pulled over. He almost strangled himself on his seatbelt leaping out of the car just as a stretcher was being lifted out of the house, and he ran over to it. She was unconscious and pale, almost grey, standing out in the darkness. There were dark circles under her eyes. Blaine took her hand and walked along as she was carried to the ambulance.

"Kitty? Kitty, honey, it's me. I'm here. Dad's here, okay?"

She stirred for a second. Everyone, including the paramedics, stopped what they were doing.

"Dad?"

Her voice was weak and unclear. Blaine squeezed her hand, willing her to stay awake.

"Yeah, honey, it's Dad. I'm right here. Can you see me?"

"Yelling. Should be yelling. Bad."

"What?"

"Don't yell at me."

"Sweetheart, I'm not yelling. We're taking you to hospital."

"Don't care. Hate me."

"I could never-"

"There's no point. She can't hear you." Blaine noticed the boy standing on her other side, holding her other hand. He recognised the jacket, but the Mohawk was definitely a surprise. He gave a shy nod. "Hi."

"Are you the one who called me?" The boy nodded. "Thank you. I can't thank you enough." Blaine looked down at Kitty again and put a hand on her cheek. "I love you, okay, Kitty cat? I love you more than anything." She blinked a couple of times, not quite managing to focus on him. She nodded as if she half understood, then drifted off again.

The boy tried to force a smile, but it fell flat. Blaine understood. They both kept staring at Kitty's face, inanimate again. They reached the ambulance, and Kitty was put on a gurney and pushed in. Blaine turned to see Kurt standing by his car, giving the same attempt at a smile as the boy had given him. He walked over to give his elbow a squeeze, knowing Blaine might not want to do any more in front of so many people, but Blaine didn't hesitate before leaning straight into his arms. He was scared of so many things, but being vulnerable wasn't one of them right now.

"I'll meet you at the hospital?" Kurt felt Blaine nod against his chest. "Okay. She's going to be okay. Just be with her. That's all you can do."

Blaine nodded again and pulled away, allowing himself a second to press his forehead against Kurt's and hold onto his hips a moment longer, letting out a shaky breath.

"Thank you," he whispered, before turning to see the boy with his hands in his pockets, looking from the ambulance to Blaine and Kurt and back again.

"Mr Anderson, is it okay if- can I come with you? Please? I- I'm scared."

Blaine paused for a second, worried that he'd never even met the kid before, but he knew if it hadn't been for him… He nodded and let him get in first. He glanced back at Kurt one more time before stepping into the ambulance, the doors slamming behind him and the engine revving.

He and the boy sat down next to each other and both reached for her hand. The boy won, but he noticed Blaine's disappointment and tried to offer it to him. Blaine shook his head.

He'd probably saved her life. He could hold her hand.

"Thanks," he said, looking down sheepishly, "I'm Noah, by the way. Noah Puckerman."

Blaine nodded. He couldn't do introductions now, not with a siren blaring and a woman checking his daughter's pulse and airways and turning her onto her side so she wouldn't choke on her own vomit. They were silent for the rest of the journey.

When they arrived at the hospital, they were rushed in and asked to wait outside the room while they pumped Kitty's stomach. They both winced at the thought, both wanted to be there to make sure she was okay, but they trusted the doctors - they had very little choice. Blaine got them both coffee while they waited, and they stayed silent as they drank it, their backs aching on the hard plastic chairs. Blaine called Quinn, and she said she'd get there as soon as she could.

Eventually they were allowed into Kitty's room. She was still unconscious, but stable, according to the doctor. The two of them wandered in and sat either side of the bed where Kitty was sleeping, still pale, still looking so small. They each took one of her hands.

"So. Noah."

He nodded.

"Are you Kitty's boyfriend?"

He frowned.

"I'm trying to be. She won't let me."

Blaine held back a smile. A lot of things fell into place.

"Well if this doesn't earn you some brownie points, I don't know what will."

"Mmm. I just want her to be okay. I tried to get her to stop drinking, but she was just so- I don't know. Angry. Sad. I didn't know what to do. I just knew she'd want you here."

Blaine looked at the boy, surprised.

"Really?"

Noah's eyes didn't leave Kitty's face.

"Yeah. She'd kill me for saying this, but she's really torn up about everything between you two. She doesn't like it at her mom's. It doesn't feel like home, not really."

"Oh. She told you all of this?"

"She didn't have to. You know, Mr Anderson-"

"Blaine. Blaine's fine."

"Blaine… Your daughter makes fun of me a lot. She's always calling me stupid or laughing at my hair or teasing me because I'm older than her and I don't know what a Gangnam Style is, but I don't mind. I kind of have to listen to the stuff she doesn't say."

Blaine reached over the bed to pat Noah's arm. It was painfully awkward, but it was better than nothing.

"What do you mean?"

"Like how sometimes she just rests her head on my arm, or when she holds my hand, or gives me this smile like I've just said the dumbest thing she's ever heard (Blaine knew it all too well) – she's doing it because she likes me. Because she's happy. It's what she does with you." He was still staring at her, his eyes glistening with tears. "I know it looks like she's pushing you away, but I think… I think she's just scared it's gonna work."

Blaine swallowed and blinked quickly. He realised he was trembling. He wasn't cold, but somehow this boy he'd only just met seemed to understand everything better than he did, and it gave him chills.

"But… but I could never…"

"I know that. If I can see it, any idiot can. She just feels guilty."

"Guilty? What for? Because of the store?" He rubbed a hand over his eyes. "I still don't understand what she said before we got in the ambulance. I never yell at her."

"Maybe that's the problem."

"What?"

"Talk to her. I should probably leave you to it."

He stood up and stretched his arms above his head.

"You don't have to-"

Noah smiled.

"It's cool. I don't want to get in between you and your ex."

"Wise."

"Yeah, well."

"No, really, Noah. You're not an idiot."

"Tell her that when she wakes up." He stuck his hand out. "Nice meeting you, Mr Anderson. And you can call me Puck."

Blaine shook his hand and nodded before walking him to the door. When they got into the hallway, they found Kurt sitting just outside. He was blinking sleepily, but he sharpened up as soon as he noticed Blaine.

"How is she? Is everything okay?"

Blaine smiled at Puck.

"It will be. This is Noah, Kitty's… friend, I guess."

"Hi, uh, I'm Kurt. Blaine's-"

"Friend? Uh-huh," Puck smirked. "Gotcha. I'll let you two friends get back to what's left of your evening."

Kurt and Blaine blushed. Puck grinned and gave Blaine a slap on the shoulder, startling him, taking one more glance at Kitty and walking away.

"So, she's okay? What was it?"

"Drinking. They pumped her stomach. She'll need a couple of days to recover, but she's okay."

"And what about you?"

Blaine looked down and took a deep breath. When he looked up again, there were tears in his eyes. He shook his head. Kurt wrapped his arms around him, firm and strong and grounding, and kissed his temple as Blaine buried his face in his scarf.

"I thought-"

Kurt nodded and shushed him.

"I know. She's okay, Blaine. She's going to be fine. I promise."

Blaine lifted his head to look at Kurt.

"Kurt, I don't- if you hadn't-"

"Stop. This just makes us even." Blaine laughed weakly. "I'll stay as long as you want me to. Whatever you need, okay?"

Blaine nodded, his breath catching in his throat, resting his forehead against Kurt's. They stayed like that for another moment, unabashedly intimate and peaceful, and Blaine was about to lean in to kiss him when there was a cough behind him. Kurt tensed up, and Blaine spun around to see Quinn standing with a sleepy Zach holding her hand and leaning on her arm, nuzzling into her elbow. Blaine's arm automatically reached out in front of Kurt, just in case Quinn attacked. She stared at him incredulously.

"I've got other things to be upset about right now, Blaine."

He breathed a sigh of relief and used his sleeve to wipe a tear from his cheek.

"Right. She's fine. She just drank too much, and they pumped her stomach, but she'll be alright."

"You say that like it's nothing."

"Well, it could have been a lot worse."

"Mmm. So. Your date got cut short, then."

"Um. Yeah."

Kurt froze, unsure whether he should smile or shake her hand or run away screaming. Quinn made an honest attempt at a smile. It was all either of them could have expected.

"It's okay. I'm not going to bite you. It's nice to meet you properly. With less yelling."

"You too," Kurt mumbled, and Blaine had to stop himself from grinning. He'd never seen Kurt shy before. It was adorable. "Hi, Zach."

"Hello," Zach mumbled, still trying to wipe sleep from his eyes. "Is Kitty alive?"

"Yeah, she's gonna be fine, buddy. You okay?"

"I'm tired. Can I go back to bed?"

Quinn looked through the window into Kitty's room.

"I- I guess if she's okay, I can take you home. Come on-"

"Quinn, wait-"

She looked at Blaine. He wanted to offer to take Zach home so she could stay with Kitty, but he didn't particularly want to leave the hospital either. His mouth was hanging open, trying to answer, when he felt Kurt's hand on his elbow.

"I could always take him. If you two want to stay."

Quinn looked down at Zach, whose eyes were sliding shut even though he was standing up, and back at Kitty, out cold on the hospital bed.

"You'd do that?"

"Sure. You should be with her. Zach'll be fine with me and Mai, won't you?"

Zach flickered back into consciousness and nodded vaguely in Kurt's direction.

"Well…" Quinn paused, feeling like she should be trying to find a reason to say no, but she really wanted to stay. And Kurt had taken care of him before. "Okay. Please. That would be great. Zach, do you mind sleeping at Kurt's tonight, so we can stay with your sister?"

Zach nodded.

"Sleep."

The three adults smiled at him, and Kurt put a hand on his shoulder.

"Okay. I need to pick Mai up anyway. One of you can come and get him tomorrow, whenever's easiest."

Quinn and Kurt locked eyes for a moment, and she didn't quite smile, but in a way he was glad. Whatever this expression was, at least it was genuine.

"Thank you, Kurt. Really."

He smiled and nodded at her, and turned to Blaine. Quinn tried not to grimace and walked into Kitty's room and sat by the bed. Blaine sighed gratefully and kissed Kurt on the cheek, linking their fingers together and squeezing hard.

"Kurt, I don't know what to say."

Kurt smiled.

"I think 'goodnight, Zach' will do for now."

He grinned and knelt in front of Zach.

"Your sister's gonna be fine, okay? Shall I give her a big hug for you?"

Zach nodded, blinking slowly.

"Yes please."

"Okay," Blaine embraced him, "I love you. I'll see you in the morning."

Zach hung onto him for a second before looking up at Kurt, who offered him a reassuring smile, which must have worked. He grinned and turned to the door he'd come in through.

"If it's easier, I can drop him at your place tomorrow? Just call me and let me know, okay?" Blaine nodded and hugged him again.

"Thank you so much, Kurt."

He heard Kurt sniff over his shoulder.

"Hey. Stop that. She's fine, remember?"

Blaine tightened his jaw and nodded.

"Tomorrow?"

Kurt nodded back.

"Tomorrow."

Kurt and Zach wandered out and Blaine walked into Kitty's room and sat by Quinn.

"Thank you."

"What for?" she asked half-heartedly, too busy staring at her daughter's still frame.

"For being cool. About Kurt."

"Oh. Yeah, well. Other things to worry about."

"Of course."

"But it did take everything I had not to lose it just now. So you should be grateful all the same."

Blaine laughed.

"Okay. I'm proud of you, Quinn. And I really do appreciate it."

She took a deep breath and puffed her cheeks out then leaned on Blaine, resting her head on his shoulder. He absent-mindedly pressed a kiss into her hair.

"I was so fucking scared, B." He looked at her for a moment, eyes wide. "What?"

"Oh, nothing, just- you haven't called me that since… you know."

"Right. Sorry."

"No, don't apologise. It's nice. I kind of miss it."

"I miss you."

"Quinn-"

"No, I'm not- I know you're gay. Thinking about it now, it just explains how you always dressed better than me. It's just hard. One day we were a family, and now we're this. I used to tell you everything and now… it's all different."

"It doesn't have to be. Not really. I mean, technically I was always-"

"Don't ruin the moment, Blaine. Can we just leave it at me missing you and you being all sickening with your new boyfriend?"

He was too tired to play the 'he's not my boyfriend' game. It was nice hearing anybody call him that, especially if Quinn was more or less okay with it. In spite of everything, he still desperately wanted her approval.

They sat comfortably for a few minutes, soaking up the silence and the steady beeping of the monitors, the beeping that meant Kitty was stable.

A woman in a white coat came in and smiled when she saw them.

"Mr and Mrs Anderson?"

"No, actually-" Quinn began, but Blaine put his hand over hers.

"We're Kitty's parents. Is everything okay?"

"Well, it's not any different from ten minutes ago. I just came to tell you that you might want to go home and get some sleep. She won't be awake until the morning."

Blaine looked at Quinn.

"What do you think?"

"I am pretty exhausted. You're sure she won't wake up alone?"

The doctor nodded.

"We'll call you if anything happens."

They both stood and stretched and went to kiss Kitty's forehead and squeeze her hands before making their way out to the parking lot. Blaine noticed Quinn shivering and gave her his jacket.

"Christ. I really should've known you weren't straight. You're far too polite."

"Should I be ruder?"

"I think 'I prefer penis' is rude enough." He snorted. "Where are you parked?"

"Oh. Shit. I came in the ambulance. My car's at Kurt's."

"Don't worry; I'll take you back. Or you could stay at my place if it's easier? I mean, we're both going back to the hospital in the morning-"

"I wouldn't want to put you out-"

"You wouldn't- unless you'd rather not-"

"Fucking hell. I'll stay at yours just to shut both of us up."

"Deal."

Blaine didn't realise until he was stepping inside that he'd never been in Quinn's place before. How ridiculous that he should be married to someone, see them every day since college, and now not even know what their kitchen looked like. As it turned out, it was lovely.

"Quinn, this is- it's gorgeous."

"I did what I could."

"Well, it worked. Good job."

"Thanks."

She opened the fridge and pulled a bottle of wine out of the door.

"Oh, no, thanks."

"I don't remember offering. But there's another bottle in there if you want one. I can get you a straw."

"I don't know if we should-"

"Blaine, this is one of the worst days I've have in a long time. I'm having a drink. If you want to make me drink alone, that's fine. Just a little rude." As she unscrewed the bottle, Blaine sighed and grabbed the other one. Quinn took two mugs from the shelf. "Just like old times," she said with a grin.

"Woah, woah, you're seeing somebody? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I don't have years of suppression to make up for. It's still early days."

"And he's a doctor?"

"Uh-huh. You should have seen my mom's face when I told her."

"I guess you didn't tell her about the dancing."

Quinn shook her head quickly and it made her sway to one side a little. They were sitting cross-legged on opposite ends of the couch, sipping wine from mugs as if it was illegal. It was like college all over again. She giggled.

"Fuck, no. I call dibs on all gay husband jokes. She's not starting the gay boyfriend ones. And he's Asian, which my dad won't be happy about, but it's still a step up from the gay guy who knocked me up in college. But trust me, he's definitely straight."

"Not being rude, but you're not exactly known for your gaydar."

She kicked him in the stomach and he burst out laughing.

"Very funny. Well, all the dancing pays off. He seems pretty damn straight to me, if you know what I'm saying."

Blaine sat up straight.

"Oh. So you've-"

Quinn nodded, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

"Yep. A lot. It's just- wow. Don't take it personally; I know you had your reasons, but he's really – it's amazing. Funny what a difference it can make when the person's actually attracted to you."

"Wow. Sorry to have disappointed you for so long. You know, Quinn, it wasn't because – you are attractive, okay? You're beautiful."

"Mmmhmm."

"No, I mean it."

She smiled at him.

"Thanks. And you were occasionally not-awful in bed."

There was a loaded pause. Quinn sipped from her mug, smiling up at Blaine.

"Gee, aren't we full of compliments this evening?" He downed the rest of his drink and stood up, only swaying for a second. "I think it's probably time for bed. We might have an early start tomorrow."

"Oh, shit, yeah. Okay," she put her mug on the table and grabbed his hand. "Spare room's this way."

Blaine started having flashbacks of the evening as Quinn dragged him upstairs. He remembered Kurt's smile when they talked, Kurt's breath on his ear when they danced, Kurt's moans when Blaine had rocked insistently in his lap and the feeling of dread when he saw that understanding look in Kurt's eyes, but the relief when he found it again in the hospital.

He remembered Kitty's face, still and white, and 'don't care' and 'hate me' and Puck saying she felt guilty about something.

He remembered Santana talking about lube and 'it won't hurt that much' and how he'd been forcing himself, rutting against Kurt mindlessly while Kitty had been unconscious, almost dying, and it had all been so scary… But here was Quinn.

Quinn whose laugh he knew better than anyone else's, Quinn he could tell anything to, the mother of his children, one of whom was lying in hospital because she was so miserable at the thought of losing him that she'd almost drunk herself into a coma.

If he'd never come out, never torn his family apart, maybe she wouldn't be in hospital at all.

"Quinn-"

"It's this one. Only a single, but your boyfriend's not here so-"

She was cut off as Blaine laid a hand on her back, pulled her close and kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorryyyyyyyyyyyy


	11. Chapter 11

Quinn woke up to feel the mattress dipping next to her. She rubbed at her eyes and opened them to see Blaine hurriedly fastening his trousers and pausing to rub his hands over his face.

“ _Fuck, fuck, fuck…_ ” he whispered to himself over and over. She sat up, holding the sheet up to cover herself.

“Blaine? Blaine, it’s not even light, what are you doing?”

“I shouldn’t be here. Shit. I have to go. I’ve got to go somewhere. I should get Zach.”

“Blaine. He won’t be awake. And you don’t have your car, and no offence but you look like crap. At least take a shower.”

He turned to face her as he pulled his shirt on.

“How are you not freaking out, Quinn? Do you realise what happened last night?”

“I’m not an idiot, Blaine. We both had an awful day and a lot of wine. It was a mistake.”

“But Kurt-”

“What about Mike? You’re not the only one in a relationship.”

“Well, you could’ve said no.”

“You could’ve _not_ kissed me.”

“I didn’t mean- I just-” he sat on the edge of the bed, unable to look at Quinn. “It’s all such a mess.” She picked her sweater up from the floor and slipped it on. She took his hand. “Quinn, you know I’m still-”

“God, yes. You don’t have to worry about me getting delusions of romance. You’re not that good.”

He snorted in spite of himself.

“Noted. I wish I’d never done this.”

“I know.”

“No, any of this. Kitty almost died last night, and if it hadn’t been for everything I’ve put her through then maybe she never would have done it. Maybe she wouldn’t have been so unhappy. It all would have been so much easier.”

“Blaine, is that what last night was about? Were you trying to be straight or something? Jesus, you're an idiot - wait,” she started to slide out of bed, “don’t look.”

“Seriously? You don’t think we’re a little past that?”

“I was just warning you. Don’t want to subject you to anything.”

“Good point.” Blaine continued to face the other way. “Anyway, you’re over-simplifying it.”

“Really?” She wriggled into a pair of jeans. “Sounds like you’re blaming yourself for her drinking too much.”

“Puck said she felt guilty about something.”

“It sounds like she’s done plenty of stuff to feel bad about. Why didn’t you tell me about the store?”

“I thought she would- it doesn’t matter. You don’t know what it’s been like lately. The way she talks to me, it’s like she hates me. I just think- I think I need to focus on the kids for a while instead of… anything else.”

Quinn pulled the covers straight and sat a couple of feet away from Blaine on the bed.

“It’s safe. You can look.” He turned to face her. “Look at it this way: after last night, there might not be ‘anything else’ for you to focus on anyway.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Fuck, he’s going to hate me. I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to run for the hills. I cheated on him. With you.”

“At least he’ll know you didn’t enjoy it much.”

“Will you stop it? This isn’t a joke, Quinn. I know you’re not okay with any of this either.”

“Of course I’m not okay! I’ve been so caught up in this thing with Mike that I haven’t noticed what’s been happening with Kitty. You’re the one that boy called last night. You’re the one the school calls when she gets in trouble. My daughter’s a mess and I had no idea, and now I’ve totally fucked up the one thing that’s been making me happy and I feel like I deserve to have it ruined. And I think you feel exactly the same.”

Blaine’s mouth hung open for a moment. He looked down at his lap.

“She was better off before. So was Zach, so was Kurt… everything was better before.”

“No, it wasn’t. Do you feel good now? Did last night make you happy in any way?” He shook his head. “What about when you’re with Kurt? Do you wake up hating yourself?”

“We haven’t. Um. Yet.”

“What?”

“We were about to. Well. I was trying to."

"Trying to? What does that mean?"

"Then I got the phone call.”

There was a long pause. Something seemed to click in her mind.

“Well. Shit.”

“Mmm. Wait, how did you know about school calling me? I never told you about the fight.”

“She told me. Well, Zach blurted it out and I made her explain.”

“It’s so unlike her. I mean, she can take people down if she needs to, but she likes doing it with words. She’s not usually one to get her hands dirty.”

“Didn’t she tell you what it was about?”

He shook his head.

“I couldn’t get it out of her.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“It was about you. Some girl called you… a name, so Kitty punched her. I assumed you knew.”

Blaine stared at her in amazement.

“She did that?”

“You should probably look a little less happy about it.” She gave him the slightest hint of a smile. “I guess she can’t hate you that much.”

“But… then why the hell is she being like this?”

She reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, but he leaned away. She let her arm drop to her side.

“I’m not the one you need to ask. Look, we can’t get her for another hour. Take a shower, and I’ll take you back to Kurt’s so you can get Zach and your car and talk to him. I’ll drop Kitty at yours as soon as I can.”

Blaine rubbed at his eyes and agreed.

He got downstairs, his hair still damp, to find Quinn sitting at the kitchen table with two cups of coffee. There was a bag on the floor. He remembered that Kitty would need a change of clothes. Quinn must have packed some of hers.

“Shouldn’t we go?”

She shook her head.

“Coffee first.”

He sat down slowly, confusion settling on his face.

“This is weird.”

“Anything you and I do is a little weird, Blaine.”

“Okay. Um. Is everything-”

“It’s okay, you know. If you haven’t slept with him.”

He stood.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to cut down on caffeine-”

“Sit.”

He sat.

“You don’t have to give me the talk. I’d really rather you didn’t, actually.”

“I know you’re scared. I was terrified. We’ve only ever been with each other.”

“Quinn, please-”

“No. You need to hear this from somebody. You should take all the time you need.”

“You didn’t.”

“Maybe not, but at least I talked to my boyfriend about it first. I told him I was scared and he understood, and it was great.”

There was a pause.

“Are you going to tell him about last night?”

She nodded slowly.

“I have to. No more holding things back, either of us. Especially you. Last time you didn’t speak up, you got stuck with me for eighteen years.”

He felt a blush creeping up his neck and stared into his cup.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one you need to apologise to.”

“I know. I’ll tell him everything.”

“I actually didn’t mean him.” Blaine looked up at her, and she scooted her seat closer to his. “Blaine, last night you were with me instead of him. You’ve already admitted how unhappy it made you, being with me,” he opened his mouth to argue but she held up her hand, “and you chose to be with me rather than the man you love.”

“I what?”

“I know you do. I’ve never seen you the way you are when you talk about him, when you were with him last night. Now, I don’t know if this was because of Kitty, or because you’re just scared of starting over and letting yourself be that vulnerable with someone new, but it doesn’t stop you loving him. You need to stop punishing yourself, Blaine.”

He looked at her helplessly and his eyes started to water. He knew she was right. He knew that being with Kurt made his stomach churn and his heart race and it was terrifying because Blaine knew this man might actually make him happy. When he and Quinn had separated he was sad. He was sad because the kids would be upset and because he was hurting his best friend. But the idea of losing Kurt, even now, was heart-breaking. He swallowed as a shiver rolled over his body, resting his forehead on his palm and his elbow on the table. He heard Quinn’s chair move and felt her arm drape over his shoulders.

“I’m so sorry… god, I’m so, so sorry…”

He leaned on her shoulder as she shushed him.

“I know. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

He just hoped he hadn’t pulled so far away that he couldn’t go back.

*

Quinn dropped Blaine at Kurt’s with a casual ‘make good choices, kiddo’ and a gentle pat on the elbow then left to go to the hospital. He took a deep breath and walked to the door, which Zach opened.

“Is Kitty okay?”

Kurt was standing just behind him, Mai balanced on his hip, obviously wanting the answer to the same question. Blaine felt his insides go heavy just looking at him.

“Yeah, she’s gonna be fine. Your mom’s just gone to get her from the hospital, and she’s bringing her straight home so we can take care of her.”

“Are Kurt and Mai coming?”

“I think Kitty probably needs some peace and quiet today,” Kurt said, “just the three of you. You should just help your dad look after her.”

“Yeah,” Blaine nodded, “we should get back.”

Blaine kept his eyes on Zach and ushered him outside. Kurt frowned and put Mai down, muttering “Why don’t you go catch the end of Spongebob?” and lightly taking Blaine’s wrist. “Are you okay? Did you stay at Quinn’s last night?”

Blaine nodded.

“Yeah. I, uh… it was just easier. Kurt, I want to talk to you-”

“I’m glad you two are getting on better. Maybe if she’s coming round, then Kitty-”

Blaine’s stomach squeezed. Kurt looked so hopeful and warm and worried about him, and Blaine didn’t want that look to go away. He just couldn’t stand to make Kurt hate him just yet. One more day where this one good thing wouldn’t fall apart.

“Yeah. Maybe. Look, it’s been a long couple of days. I think we just need some time.”

“Of course. Look, if there’s anything I can do-”

“Thanks. We should probably go.”

Kurt frowned. He slid his hand down to tangle it with Blaine’s, and although Blaine held his back it felt different. Not forced like last night, but doubtful, apprehensive.

“Sure. Well. Call me.”

Blaine put on some kind of smile and nodded. Kurt started to lean in for a kiss, but remembered what he’d said last night about pushing him. Zach wasn’t the problem anymore, since he’d been asking over breakfast if they were boyfriends (‘okay, technically it was a date, but we’re, um, friends. Eat your cereal.’), but he started to wish it was as simple as keeping it a secret. He knew last night that he should have stopped Blaine, should have talked to him, but it was hard to think clearly with a gorgeous, albeit anxious man grinding against his crotch. And everything with Kitty just made him think Blaine would be better off without the complication of a relationship. And maybe he and Mai would be too. But maybe he was just exhausted.

He gave his hand a squeeze which was eagerly returned as Blaine bit his lip, and Zach waved goodbye in blissful ignorance. He ran his fingers through his hair as he watched them drive away, then padded back into the living room. He flopped down next to Mai and pulled her onto his lap.

*

“Dad, are you letting me win?” Zach asked, stabbing at the buttons on his controller. “You could at least pretend to try.”

“What?” Blaine had just been squeezing the plastic thing in his hands, barely aware there was even a game to play. “Oh, sorry. I’m just worried about your sister.”

He was. Just because his stomach was still turning at the thought of what happened last night, and what Kurt would think, how differently he was bound to look at him once he knew – that didn’t mean he was any less torn up about Kitty. Just as he spoke, Quinn’s car pulled up. Blaine jumped up and ran to the door, and Zach rolled his eyes and pressed pause.

“Hey, you two,” he called from the door, slipping his shoes on and stepping outside. Quinn walked around to help Kitty out of her seat. There was some colour in her cheeks, and she was in jeans and a too-big jumper instead of the hospital gown. She actually let Quinn hold her hand as they walked to the house. She paused when she reached Blaine, dragging her gaze away from the ground and up to his eyes. He smiled at her, her hair still a little matted, her eyes still smeared with makeup. “Morning, sweetheart.”

She didn’t say anything; just stepped closer, slowly wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest. He stilled for a second, eyes wide with surprise, but quickly closed them and hugged her back. He stroked her hair and kissed her temple, and did what he could right there to warm up her trembling frame. When he opened his eyes, he saw Quinn smiling at them.

Kitty still said nothing.

“I’ll leave you to rest. Look after yourself, honey.” Kitty turned to nod to her for a moment and turned straight back to Blaine. “Zachary, don’t you dare tell me you’re too old to give your mom a kiss goodbye!” Zach popped out, squeezing past Blaine and Kitty with a grimace, and hugged Quinn, even kissing her on the cheek. She stroked his back and kissed the top of his head a couple of times, ruffling his hair affectionately. “Come on. You too.”

Kitty let go of Blaine and turned to face her. Her normal glare faded in a heartbeat, and she hugged her mother, resting her chin on her shoulder.

“Bye, Mom. Thanks for bringing me back.”

“No problem. Don’t you dare scare us like that again.” She kissed her cheek. “Love you, Kit.”

Kitty nodded and sniffed. She rubbed at her eye with the heel of her hand. Blaine put a hand on her shoulder.

“Do you want to go to bed, or-”

“I think I’m gonna take a bath first. Feel kinda gross.”

He smiled.

“Go for it. Should be plenty of hot water.” She didn’t smile, not yet, but she didn’t scowl or look like she was on the brink of tears either. It felt like progress. “Love you,” he called out as she walked upstairs. She nodded and disappeared into the bathroom.

“Dad, can I finish thrashing you now?”

“Sure. Tell you what, go get yourself a drink or something and I’ll be right in.”

Zach grinned.

“Kay. Bye, Mom.”

“Bye, sweetie.”

Blaine and Quinn smiled at each other.

“She’s okay. She’s alive and she’s awake and she’s okay.”

She nodded.

“Take care of her, alright?”

He nodded back. They didn’t hug. She simply walked back to the car, and he closed the door. He turned to see two glasses of orange juice on the coffee table, and Zach bouncing up and down on the couch, controller in hand.

Kitty eventually wandered downstairs in her pyjamas, damp hair braided to one side. Blaine smiled up at her.

“Hey. How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” she answered, finally looking straight into his eyes, “exhausted, actually." Blaine's heart squeezed in his chest. She had to be exhausted after fighting for this long. She wasn't the only one. "And hungry.”

“Oh, right.” She _had_ had her stomach pumped, after all. “Well, I’ll get you something to eat.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Kitty, let him. Come and play. The best thing about being sick is that Dad lets you play video games all day and brings you food.”

“Zach, Kitty’s had a long-”

“Only if you wanna get your ass kicked. Give me that thing.”

She sat next to her brother, legs tucked up on the sofa, and Blaine smiled as he watched them together. Kitty looked so young with no make-up and her old smile creeping back onto her face. Zach yelled as Kitty leaned on him hard, squashing him into the cushions.

“Kitty, get off me! Dad, she’s cheating!”

“What did I do? There’s no rules about how I sit. Maybe I just want to snuggle up to my baby brother.”

“Oh, gross! And I'm not a baby! _Dad!_ ”

Blaine grinned at them. Kitty was smirking back at them.

“Be nice to your sister, Zach. She’s been in the hospital.”

“I’ll put her back in the hospital!”

“I’d like to see you try, squirt!”

“Please no more hospitals for a while, either of you. Zach, you said you wanted a challenge.”

He walked back towards them, putting a sandwich and an apple on a plate on the coffee table in front of Kitty. He sat on the other couch, happy to relax and watch the kids messing around like they used to. She gave him a nod. He nodded back.

“You’re so lucky. I told you this is the best thing about being sick. You get to stay home and play video games in your pyjamas all day.”

“And what exactly are you doing that’s so different?” Kitty asked. “I mean, other than losing.”

“I’m in normal clothes.”

“Well,” Blaine grinned, “why don’t we get changed? PJ day?”

“Kitty won’t want to. We haven’t done that since we were kids.”

She smiled at her little brother in a way she hadn’t in months, and Blaine smiled at both of them.

“What do you say, Kit? Too old to hang out with us for a day?”

“Well, what are you guys waiting for? Zach, if you don’t hurry up I’ll crash your car while you’re gone.”

Zach scrambled to his feet and ran upstairs, dropping his controller on the floor. Blaine reached out for Kitty’s knee, hesitated, and pulled back.

“You okay?”

She nodded.

“Thanks for the food.”

He smiled and went upstairs. When he came back down, dressed as promised in his only matching set of pyjamas, the sofas had been turned around and stripped of their cushions, and were now being used to hold up a blanket canopy over Kitty and Zach’s heads. He could hear them both giggling helplessly.

“You guys made a fort without me?”

They were playing again.

“Quit whining and get under here. You might miss me kicking Kitty’s butt.”

“You are not!”

“Am so!”

“Well, I’m sick. It doesn’t count.”

“Whatever, that’s just an excuse.”

“Maybe I’m just lulling you into a false sense of security before I swoop in and beat you.”

“What’s lulling?”

Blaine smiled at them both and crawled under the blankets with them.

“It means you better watch your back before she catches up with you.”

Zach’s tongue stuck out and he frantically stabbed at buttons. Kitty poked half-heartedly at one or two, grinning at Zach again. Blaine leaned against the back of an armchair, took a deep breath and enjoyed the noise of his kids goofing around, bickering and playing, unable to remember the last time he’d heard it.

It didn’t take long for Zach to get sleepy. The previous night had been rough for him, being dragged to the hospital and back to Kurt’s house, and worrying more about Kitty than he would admit. Blaine switched the TV off and Zach yawned, stretched and snuggled into Kitty’s side, fast asleep. She stiffened at first, but eventually allowed it. She even rested her cheek on top of his head and closed her eyes.

“So…” Blaine started, terrified that one false move could make her shut off again, “Is everything okay? Do you want anything else to eat?”

She shook her head and put a hand on her stomach.

“Not yet. Still not feeling great.”

“Oh, sure. Sure. Are you cold? Can I get you a blanket or something? I can take him upstairs if you want-”

She shook her head again.

“I’m fine. And he’s fine. S’kinda nice.”

“Okay. Look, Kitty, I understand if you’re tired, but should we- can we talk? About everything? I just… I’m pretty lost here. One minute you hate me, and now this. Since your mom and I broke up, since I told you, you know… about me, you’ve been so angry, and it’s not like you. I know everything’s changed, but is it really upsetting you this much?”

“No. It’s not- I…” she gave up and looked down at her lap.

“I’m not mad, I swear. And I don’t hate you.”

“You’re supposed to be mad. You should have been yelling at me. You should have locked me away with no dinner and no friends and no TV and-” 

“Kitty, no. I mean, do you think for a second that grounding you would have actually worked? You’re not a little kid any more. I’m just worried. I miss you,” his hand was trembling as it edged closer to hers, “I miss you so much. This afternoon, it’s been like having you back. It’s like we’re us again. What’s been so different?”

“You never yell at me.”

“Um… I know? I don’t like yelling.”

“You used to. You screamed at me when I was little, when I didn’t look before I crossed the street, or if I wandered away from you and Mom at the park, or that time we were at the lake and I got too close to the water.”

“That was because I didn’t want you to get hurt. I wanted to protect you, Kitty, that’s my job.”

“I’m sorry,” there was a crack in her voice. Blaine shuffled around the coffee table to sit next to her, and took her hand.

“No, honey, it’s okay. Everything’s fixed now. Artie’s opening the store again tomorrow.”

“No, Dad,” she squeezed his hand, finally forcing herself to look up at him, “I’m really sorry. For everything. I’m sorry for the store, and for getting into that fight-” he reached up to stroke her hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear, “and for being such a bitch to you.” He started to shake his head, but she kept talking. “No. I’ve been awful. I know I have. I’m sorry. You should hate me. You should have screamed at me. I wanted you to scream at me.”

“Okay, first of all, I could never hate you. Ever. I know I haven’t shouted at you or anything, but it’s not because I don’t care. Honestly, I was scared of what you’d shout back.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

“I thought it was just the divorce. Everyone said you were doing it for attention, so I thought maybe if I acted like you weren’t getting to me- but I’ve never felt worse. God, I missed you,” he said again, stroking her hair, “I just thought if I held on too tight you’d try harder to get away. And that would kill me.”

She sniffed, her breath jumping in her throat.

“I really am sorry,” her voice cracked, and he was about to tell her it was okay again when he heard her whisper, “I’m sorry you were so unhappy.”

Her face fell again as soon as realisation dawned on his.

“Sweetheart, no. You don’t have to-”

“I’m sorry you got stuck with us. If it hadn’t been for me you and Mom never would have gotten married. You could have been with someone else, someone better. Someone you actually loved.”

“Stop it.”

“No. I saw you with the Kurt the other night. You were never like that with Mom.”

“I’ll always love her. She was my best friend.”

“Eighteen years, Dad,” she’d stopped pretending not to cry now, “you were miserable all that time and you never said anything. Because of me.” She noticed him frowning, about to mention Zach, “Come on, by the time he came along it was too late. I was the one that trapped you.”

“Kitty, stop-”

“No, Dad-”

“Shh,” he nodded at Zach even though they both knew he wasn’t going to wake up any time soon. “My turn now. Listen to me.”

She sniffed.

“Kay.”

“Kitty. I’m not sorry. I am not one bit sorry that you’re here.”

“But-”

“But nothing. You and your brother are my favourite things in the whole world.”

“What about Kurt?”

“That’s… it doesn’t matter. Anyway, if it hadn’t been for Zach’s play I wouldn’t have met him in the first place. You guys are my best wingmen.”

She snorted.

“You’re welcome. I guess. But you could have had kids you actually wanted.”

“They would have been different. I don’t want different kids. I want you.”

She shifted closer to him and leaned on his chest. Zach wriggled to lean the other way, ended up curled into a ball on the floor and still didn’t wake up. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kitty, smelled her hair, and pulled her close. He told himself to be cautious, that things were still fragile, but it felt like they were both finally home.

“But, Dad,” she said without moving away from the warmth of his unmistakably dad-smelling pyjamas, “you know the other day, when you told me to be careful? With Puck?”

“Mm?”

“Well – I don’t know. It was like… like we were this big mistake you couldn’t go back on.”

“In fairness, I meant to be safe from STDs too.”

“Dad.”

“Kitty. I’m not going to advocate teen pregnancy. It’s scary. It’s expensive. It doesn’t always work out like it did with you two. But that doesn’t change the fact that being your dad makes me happier than anything else.” He kissed her hair. “You got that?”

She nodded against his chest.

“Yeah.”

“Good. We just had to grow up quickly. I don’t want that for you. I want you to keep being a kid for as long as possible. That way I can keep being your dad.”

She sighed and he could tell she was rolling her eyes. He smiled anyway.

“You can always be my dad, Dad.”

“Thanks.”

“So you and Kurt wouldn’t want to- you know- have another one?”

“What? Kitty, we’ve hardly been on a real date. And it might already be over. I don’t know.”

“But say things work out. If you two were together, really together, would you want more kids?”

He paused, daring to let himself to imagine it for a second.

“If they could all be as great as you and Zach, I’d have a hundred.”

“You like him, then?”

“Kitty, I’m trying to tell you I love you; now will you stop asking me about my- about Kurt?”

She finally smiled. It wasn’t shy or reserved any more; there were teeth and dimples and a crinkled forehead.

“Your boyfriend?”

“Maybe not for long. I might have fucked it up.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault. This one’s all on me.”

“Dad?" He looked down at her. "I love you too.”

He kissed her head again.

“I know.”

Zach started snoring softly as his head tilted back on the cushions.

“Maybe he needs to go to bed.”

“Yeah,” he gave her hand a squeeze, “I’ll take him. You want anything else? Water?”

“I wouldn’t say no to a martini,” she shrugged, and Blaine would have worried if she hadn’t gone so pale and swallowed so hard at the mere mention of alcohol. He smirked. “It’s not funny. I could’ve died.”

“You were the one joking, not me. Either way, I’m glad you didn’t.” He kissed her forehead one more time before giving Zach a nudge. “Come on, kid. Bed time.”

After dragging Zach to bed, Blaine came back into the living room to see Kitty with a blanket pulled over her lap, tapping at her phone. She was smiling.

“Is that who I think it is?”

She blushed.

“Maybe.”

“You scared that poor kid to death last night. I like him.”

“Mmm.”

He sat next to her again.

“Something wrong?”

“No. Just- he’s not what I thought he’d be.”

“How’d you meet him?”

“You know Jake in my class?” Blaine nodded. “Well, they’re half-brothers. He was supposedly the ‘responsible adult’ at a party once. He was supposed to be part of the whole rebel thing I had going. All I knew was that he was older than me and had a motorbike, and that would have been perfect to piss you off-”

“But he’s delightful.”

“Exactly. That was the whole problem. He was meant to be this badass older guy, but it turns out he’s about as scary as a bunny rabbit chewing on a dandelion. Then sneezing because it forgot it has hay fever. And falling over backwards because the sneeze took it by surprise. It all kind of backfired.”

Blaine grinned.

“You like him.”

She nodded.

“He looks at me the way you look at Kurt. It’s gross.” She expected Blaine to laugh but his smile seemed to fade. “He’s… he’s kind of great, actually.”

“Good. Maybe now you’ll let him come in the house some time.”

“Maybe. If he’s good.” Blaine gave a single, weak laugh. Kitty ducked down to catch his eyes, which had drifted down to his knees. “So… has something happened with you and Kurt? You normally get all happy when you talk about him.”

“Oh. It doesn’t matter right now. I’ve probably ruined everything there anyway.”

“So fix it. You need to fix it. Use me as an excuse if you want.”

“Since when do you care so much?”

“Since I saw you cutting up his kid’s dinner. And making out with him in the kitchen. It was kind of nice seeing that stupid smile on your face. Fix it.”

“You… saw that. Oh.”

“Yeah. It’s okay. Whatever helps you get the dishes done.”

“Right. Well. Yeah.”

“So what did you do?”

“It’s complicated.”

“You’re pretty good at complicated, Dad. If you can figure stuff out with a bratty teenager, you can probably persuade your boyfriend to forgive you.”

“He’s- okay. Thanks, Kitty.”

“Don’t mention it. Can we watch cartoons? I wanna keep being a kid for the night.”

Blaine grinned and pulled down to lean on his chest again, kissing the top of her head.

“Sounds perfect to me.”


	12. Chapter 12

_Hope everything’s okay x_

_Let me know if there’s anything I can do x_

_Blaine? Are you still there? X_

_Okay. I’m probably coming off as needy now. Don’t make me look desperate, Blaine. X_

Blaine’s phone buzzed for the fifth time that day, not including the missed calls:

_Sorry. I get it if you don’t want to talk. I know you’re busy. Just tell Kitty we’re thinking of her xxx_

Blaine rubbed his eyes. Of course he wanted to talk to him, more than anything. But that would mean telling him. And that would mean it was over.

“I don’t mind you answering your phone, Dad. You don’t have to ignore him.”

He felt a pang of guilt when he realised he hadn’t even thought about whether or not it would bother Kitty, but she was smiling so he assumed it didn’t.

“I’m not ignoring him. I’m just- today’s just for us.”

“Uh-huh. And what excuse are you gonna use when I go back to school tomorrow? Will Artie suddenly be unable to cope without you?”

“If you’re gonna talk like that, maybe I’ll send you back today.”

“No, you won’t. Why are you avoiding him?”

“I’m not-” she raised an eyebrow at him. “I can’t. He’s gonna hate me.”

“Well, if you keep blanking him he’s going to hate you anyway. Have you not learned the dangers of ignoring pleas for attention? He could end up in hospital.”

“Not funny.”

“Wasn’t meant to be. Come on, tell me what you did.”

He sighed.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Oh God, was it a sex thing?” She grimaced and he opened his mouth, but no answer came out. “Oh, God. Don’t make me have the talk with you.”

“Kitty-”

“You know if you don’t put out he won’t love you, right?”

“What?”

“Kidding. Seriously, what happened?”

“I- this isn’t appropriate-”

“You’ve got to tell someone. I’m actually in a kind of functional relationship, remember? I might be able to help.”

“I cheated.”

“What? At like- a game?”

“Kitty.”

“You wouldn’t cheat on him. When? How? Who with?”

“When you were in hospital.”

“Oh, Jesus. With _her?_ ”

“Don’t say it like that. She’s your mother.”

“But she’s FEMALE! Dad, you’ve finally got somebody with the right parts and you go backwards? What the hell is your problem?”

“This is really helping. Thank you.”

“I guess I don’t blame you for not talking to him. Shit. What are you gonna do?”

“I’m going to tell him. Eventually.”

“Go now. Call him and go to his house and be honest.”

“But you-”

“I’m not gonna be an excuse. I can look after myself for a couple of hours. I think he deserves it.”

He couldn’t argue. He walked into the kitchen to make the call, even though he was still well within earshot. Kurt picked up after one ring.

“Blaine, I’m sorry. Seriously, if you just want to take care of Kitty right now, I totally understand.”

Blaine screwed his eyes shut, mortified that Kurt was apologising when he was the one in the wrong.

“No, Kurt, you don’t have to be sorry.”

“Sorry. How is she?”

“Better. So much better.” He smiled at her and she nodded to the phone in his hand. “Look, could I come over? I just- I’d rather talk in person.”

“Sure. Absolutely. Mai’s home sick, so I’m just here looking after her anyway. Come whenever you want.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“No need to thank me, silly. Are you sure everything’s okay?”

Blaine cleared his throat and nodded.

“Yep. Fine. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

Kurt frowned. Blaine could hear it.

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye,” Blaine said, his voice quiet.

“Dad?”

He sniffed and tried to compose himself before turning back to Kitty, but it didn’t work.

“I really hope you can figure it out.”

He took a moment, standing still, breathing quietly and staring at his phone. “So do I.” He walked over to her, tugging at her blanket to make sure she was okay. He kissed her cheek and squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”

She nodded.

“Love you.”

He managed a little smile.

“Love you too.”

***

Blaine swallowed thickly as he reached up to knock on Kurt’s door. One knock and it flew open, and a dishevelled Kurt with bags under his eyes stepped forward to hug Blaine, but hesitated. Blaine forced himself to smile, and Kurt took it as a green light, pulling him close and kissing his cheek. It made Blaine flinch a little, and Kurt pulled back, but Blaine looked into his eyes, full of the same care as they were on Friday night, and felt Kurt’s hands on his shoulders and the warm curve of his waist. He knew he didn’t deserve it, but he couldn’t help leaning forward, nudging their noses together and kissing him. Kurt cupped his jaw, and he only pulled away so he could rest their foreheads together.

“That was… hi.”

Blaine swallowed as he felt Kurt’s hand slip down to hold his.

“Hi. Are you okay?”

“Fine. What about you? How’s Kitty? Did you talk to her?”

“Yeah. It’s good. We… we’re good. Listen, Kurt-”

“Do you want anything? Coffee?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“You sure? I’m getting one anyway. Mai’s tired me out; she was up all night-”

“Oh, God, right, is she okay?”

“She will be. She had a temperature, but it’s down now. Just a twenty-four hour thing. I hate taking her out of school, but- are you sure you’re alright? You seem a little-”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Oh,” Kurt smiled nervously, “well- I guess we’d better go sit down.”

Blaine nodded, ducking his head slightly and walking into the living room before Kurt could touch him again. He perched on the edge of the sofa, linking his hands together on his knee. Kurt sat next to him, but Blaine froze when he felt Kurt’s hand on his wrist. Kurt inched away from him, doing whatever he could to put him at ease, but it didn’t work. God, it was so stilted and sterile and cautious. Kurt had been the one person Blaine didn’t have to be this careful around.

“Kurt.”

“Should I be worried? It feels like I should be worried. Are you- are we- this is bad, isn’t it?”

Blaine made himself look up at him.

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Well. Tell me.”

“Kurt, when- when I stayed at Quinn’s on Friday, we- you know what a mess I was that night, and-”

“Blaine-”

“I slept with her. Kurt, I’m so sorry, and if you never want to see me again, I completely understand – I’ll just go-”

“Wait, Blaine,” Kurt grabbed Blaine’s wrist as he got up to leave. As he turned, Kurt could see his eyes were already full of tears. “I don’t understand. Why did you-”

“I don’t know. I was- scared. We were drinking, and talking about everything, and Kitty- I hate myself for it. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“I just- after everything you’ve been through. After coming out, the whole nightmare, you went back? It doesn’t make any sense. I thought we- I thought you wanted to-”

“I did. I do, but, look at you. You’re so comfortable with all of this, Kurt. You’ve been out since you were a teenager, and everything Santana said-”

“What did she say? Tell me you didn’t take her seriously-”

“Just stuff about college, and how you – all the guys – and I know it’s stupid but I just. I felt like such an idiot.”

Kurt made a mental note to come back to the Santana thing, and more importantly to kick her in the shin next time he saw her.

“So you slept with Quinn? Even though you’re gay?”

“I. Yeah.”

Kurt sank onto the couch, and Blaine knelt in front of him, trying to take his hands. Kurt pulled them away.

“I don’t get it.”

“I know, Kurt-”

“Just- I mean, I kind of- she’s safe. You know her. You were together for so long- but is that why you were so weird with me on Friday? When we were here?”

Blaine nodded.

“I guess.”

“Well, why didn’t you say anything? I asked if you wanted to go slowly-”

“I know, but we’re adults, Kurt. It shouldn’t be like this.”

“Blaine, I have a six-year-old! Who I adopted _alone_. How much sex did you think I’d been having?”

“Well, I-”

“I would’ve done whatever you wanted. I would’ve waited a year. Why did you have to-”

“I thought she was dying, Kurt. I saw my little girl lying in a hospital bed and I thought it was because of me. What I’ve done- what I am. It’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done and I wish I could go back, but- Kurt, I’m sorry-”

“So am I. I’m sorry you couldn’t just tell me. I-” Kurt swallowed, clenching his fists and hardening his jaw for a moment, trying to keep it together, but his voice cracked anyway, “I think this- it’s too much. You’re too caught up in- whatever this is.”

“I know-”

“First all the stuff with Kitty, and now there’s Quinn-”

“Kurt, it’ll never happen again, I swear.”

“No. I can’t do this. I can’t help you figure all of this out. I- I’ve got Mai to think about. I don’t want her to get attached. Not if I can’t trust you. It’s not- it’s not fair.” He sniffed and angrily wiped a tear from his cheek. “I just can’t.”

Their eyes locked for a moment, both wet with tears, just inches away but unable to close the gap. They both flinched when they heard footsteps behind them.

“Daddy? Can I have some juice, please?”

“Sure, sweetie, just a second-”

“Blaine!”

Mai ran up to Blaine and threw her hands around his neck, and he automatically hugged her back.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispered, his throat tight, “Daddy told me you were sick. I hope you’re feeling better now.”

“Yeah,” she yawned, “I have to go back to school tomorrow.”

“Oh no,” Blaine replied, squeezing his eyes shut and kissing Mai’s hair, “you poor thing. Look, honey, I’ve got to go.”

Mai let go of him and frowned at Kurt.

“But he just got here. I don’t want him to go.”

“I know you don’t, sweetie, but… but Kitty’s still sick. He just came by to say hello, and now he has to go back.”

Mai looked at each of them in turn, still confused.

“Why are you sad? Don’t be sad, Daddy. If Blaine stays, will you be happy?”

“That doesn’t matter right now, Mai. Blaine needs to be with Kitty.”

“He’s right.” Blaine wiped his eyes with his sleeve, “She’s still sick. She needs me today like you needed Daddy. Imagine if he wasn’t here to look after you when you were sick.”

She nodded slowly.

“Okay. You can go. But you have to come back when she’s better.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Why?”

“He’s very busy, honey. Look, we should let him go.” He picked her up and kissed her cheek. As she rested her head on his shoulder, Kurt looked helplessly at Blaine, trying to focus on Mai just to stop himself from losing it as Blaine’s mouth hung open, trying to find apologies that would never be enough. “Say goodbye, sweetheart.”

Mai chewed on her lip for a moment, knowing something was wrong but having no idea what.

“Goodbye, Blaine.”

It felt so wrong not doing anything as he left, no casual grin and stroke of Mai’s hair, no hugs, no kisses – but it was what he deserved.

“Bye, Mai. Kurt. I’m sorry.”

Kurt nodded and felt Mai’s arms cling tighter around his neck and a soft kiss pressed to his jaw. If even she could tell he was upset, Blaine probably knew he was falling apart.

For the first time, Blaine drove away from Kurt’s house without anybody smiling at him from the doorway.

Kitty was waiting when he got home. She raised her eyebrows in question, and he shook his head, leaning back against the door as soon as it was closed. She scrambled up and went to hug him.

“It’s over. I’ve lost him. That’s it.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I’m really sorry, Dad.” He sniffed and nodded, leaning on her a little more than usual, his jaw trembling as he struggled to breathe. “Do you want me to go get Zach from school?”

He nodded again.

“Just one more minute.”

“Okay, Dad. I’m right here.”

As she felt his arms wrap around her shoulders, she realised that even though she’d seen him scared, guilty, miserable before, she couldn’t remember ever seeing him this broken.


	13. Chapter 13

Kurt definitely should have been working. He had far too much to do to be curled up on the couch with Mai dozing in his lap. She’d claimed she was sick again, and although he was dubious he decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. He just wanted to have her with him today. It was Friday, and since he’d spoken to Blaine on Monday he’d gone into overdrive with work. He’d done the same thing when he was waiting for the phone call from the adoption agency, when Rachel and Finn had a rough patch and both used him to vent, when his dad had been ill again – he was a stress-worker. He figured he’d earned some snuggle time. He flinched when his phone buzzed on the coffee table, worried it would wake her up, but she didn’t stir. He kissed her hair without thinking and laid her down on the couch.

It was the first he’d heard from Blaine since that talk, and even though he knew Blaine was just respecting his decision and giving him space and being mature, the lovesick teenager in Kurt’s head was pouting that he hadn’t at least tried to speak to him. 

_Kurt, please can we talk? Over lunch? I miss you x_

He frowned and tried to tap out a couple of different messages.

_~~No.~~ _

_~~I’m busy.~~ _

_~~I’m scared.~~ _

_Coffee. Same place as last time._

_Perfect. Thank you. What was the place called again? My brain’s a sieve lately x_

That was weird, but Kurt went along with it. It had been a stressful couple of weeks. People forget things. In all honesty, no matter how much that stung it was nothing in comparison to Monday.

_Lil’s Café. Can you make 11?_

_Of course. Whenever you want, Kurt. Thank you x_

Kurt thought about replying, but decided against it. Whatever he was going to say – and he really had no idea – he wanted to say it face-to-face.

Naturally, he got nothing done until 10:45.

He was so preoccupied trying to find Blaine when he walked into the café, Mai clinging protectively to his hand in case he got upset again, that the ring of the bell in the doorway made him jump. He didn’t see him, but his eyes did fall upon a red uniform topped with a blonde ponytail. Kitty smiled at him as she sipped from a milkshake. He raised an eyebrow in suspicion, and she stood up to greet him. He almost walked right out again, but forced himself to walk over to her.

“Kurt. Thanks for coming.”

“I don’t want to ask a stupid question, but I take it you’re the one who texted me today?”

She pulled Blaine’s phone out of her pocket and waved it a little at Kurt.

“Maybe.”

Kurt could’ve kicked himself. Of course Blaine wouldn’t forget the café.

“And he couldn’t do it himself because…”

“Because he doesn’t have his phone. Wow. I thought you were smart.”

“Are you just going to make fun of me? Should I just leave now? My daughter’s sick, I didn’t drag her out here to be laughed at by you-”

He turned to go, but she put a hand on his arm.

“Wait. Sorry.”

He took a deep breath and faced her again.

“Does he know you’re here?”

“No. You can sit down if you want.”

“We-”

He wanted to refuse, but Mai jumped onto a seat and tucked her knees up to her chin. She still looked a little wary of Kitty, wrapping her arms around her shins. Kurt was ready to comfort her when Kitty surprised him for the second time that day.

“You want some of my milkshake? It’s strawberry.” Mai looked at her father for some signal that it was okay. “There’s no bourbon in it, I swear.” Kurt didn’t laugh, but the corner of his mouth twitched a little. He gave Mai a nod.

“It’s fine, sweetie, you can have some.”

She beamed and got up ( _so much for sick_ , Kurt thought) to pick up the cup eagerly.

“Your hair looks really pretty, Mai. Did Daddy do it for you?” She nodded, the straw still in her mouth. “Woah there, I never said you could finish it. Come here,” she said, pulling Mai onto her lap, “you little monkey. We can share.”

It was like a different girl. Kurt was dumbstruck.

“You’re looking a lot better than last time I saw you.” At first there was an edge to it, but his features softened when he remembered how scared Blaine had been before, how pale and still she was. “Are you okay now?”

Kitty nodded.

“Much better now. Thanks. Kurt, I- I’m really sorry. If I was rude to you before.”

Kurt took another careful breath, keeping his gaze on Mai, her wide eyes staring up at him as she drank.

“You call that rude? My best friends have done worse. Sweetheart, slow down, you’ll make yourself sick.”

Kitty took the cup from her and had a sip.

“Yeah, munchkin, and there won’t be any left for me. He’s really sorry, Kurt. I’ve never seen him like this. Is there any way you’ll take him back?”

Kurt had to stop for breath. He knew she was direct, but this was the longest conversation they’d ever had and she wasn’t wasting any time.

“That implies we were really together in the first place.” 

“Look, I know I screwed things up. We talked for a long time, and I- I’m going to be better. I promise. It was only because I thought- I thought I was losing him, okay? And that was because I saw him with you. Any idiot can see he’s crazy about both of you – even you, you little milkshake-stealing hamster.” She hugged Mai close for a moment and the little girl giggled.

“It’s complicated-”

“No, it’s not. It’s simple. He’s totally gay for you and I know you like him too. When you were at ours for dinner, you were like- you were like a family. You know, it’s not every day a teenager actually encourages their parents to move on and start new relationships, but here we are. I hereby offer my amazing babysitting services for your next date, seeing as I kind of ruined your last one.”

“Kitty. You can’t just trick me into coming here and- expect it to fix everything. It doesn’t work like that.”

“I know. But I- I wanted you to know that I’m not going to mess stuff up any more. And I’ll never yell at her again.” Mai grinned and kicked her feet out. “See? She believes me.” Mai nodded at her, and Kurt wished he could have left her at home. “No more teen rebellion.”

“You stole your dad’s phone this morning, and am I right in guessing that you’re skipping school to be here?”

“Okay, fair point. But this is for a good cause.”

Kurt kept watching his daughter, so at ease in Kitty’s arms.

“I have work to do.”

“Will you think about it? Call him or something?”

“You should go back to school. Come on, Mai.”

“Daddy, you should buy Kitty another milkshake. I had almost all of hers.”

“I noticed, little miss _stomach bug_. I’m taking you home for some actual food. I’m- I’m glad you’re better, Kitty. I really hope you and Blaine figure things out.”

She stood up, desperate to keep him there, to say anything she could to change his mind. He offered her a five dollar bill from his pocket but she shook her head.

“Kurt- I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I messed anything up.”

He smiled at her and she smiled back. Mai watched them both, confused as to why they weren’t just hugging like normal people. Like her dad hugged everyone. He reached out for a second and she leaned forward, only for him to pat her elbow awkwardly.

“I know. Bye, Kitty.”

He took Mai’s hand and they walked away. She looked back to see Kitty, hands shoved into the pockets of her red hoodie, looking less tough than before, and more like a girl in need of a daddy-hug than anyone she’d ever seen. Kitty watched the door close, giving Mai a little wave as they walked out, and picked up her bag so she could make her way back to school. She knew she’d have to face the wrath of Coach Sylvester when she got there, but it was worth it if Kurt knew she was sorry. More so if it could make her dad happy again.

Dinner was quiet that evening, apart from Zach babbling away as usual.

“And then Chuck passed me the ball and I dribbled with it but only for a couple of seconds, because I was pretty close to the basket, and then I tried to do like a run-up thing and it didn’t go in but I swear it so nearly did, Dad, it was really close. I think if I was taller it would’ve gone in.”

Blaine laughed weakly, nudging his food around his plate.

“Tough break, buddy. Don’t hold your breath on that one; your mom and I aren’t exactly giants.”

“Yeah,” Kitty agreed, “and I haven’t grown since I was fourteen. But that’s fine by me. I’m like a little cannon ball on the field.”

“It’s okay. I don’t really need to be tall. I like soccer better than basketball anyway, and you don’t have to be tall for soccer, you just need to be fast, and apart from Josh I’m the fastest in my class, and I think he cheats anyway…”

Kitty took Blaine’s hand where it was resting on the table, loosely gripping his fork.

“You okay?”

“Mmm? Oh, fine. Just. Not hungry.” He pushed out a smile. “I’ll just clear this up.” He stood to take his plate to the sink, kissing the side of her head as he went. She watched him scrape his food off and wipe his plate clean. His shoulders were sagging. His head was bent forward. Normally he’d match Zach for inane chatter, but he just let him go on and on as if he’d given up. She gave her brother a nudge.

“Ow! What was that for?”

She turned to check Blaine hadn’t heard the change in tone. He hadn’t. She looked at Zach and nodded towards their father.

“Go.”

He looked at Blaine and realisation dawned on him. It wasn’t often that he and Kitty were in synch, but they knew spontaneous hugs were a little cuter from him. He walked up to Blaine’s side, bobbing his head under his dad’s arm and wrapping his arms around his waist. Blaine looked surprised for a second.

“Hey, honey; what’s this-” he saw Kitty watching and rolled his eyes. “Ah. Guys, I’m fine. I swear.”

“Dad, do you miss Kurt? Did you break up?”

“We- we couldn’t really break up, I mean we weren’t- exactly- yeah,” he dried his hands clumsily and returned the hug, ruffling Zach’s hair slowly. “Yeah, I miss him. But I’ve got you two. You’re the most important thing to me, okay, never forget it.”

“We already knew that. You told us, like, a million times when you and Mom broke up.”

“Zach!” Kitty hissed.

“Sorry,” Zach sighed, “love you too, Dad.”

“I just mean,” Blaine cut between them, “it’s been a rough couple of months. I think we need to focus on this, on us, for now.”

Zach hugged tighter, and Kitty nodded and smiled. She kept watching as Blaine closed his eyes and rested his chin on top of Zach’s head. She knew he’s been focusing on her and her brother for almost eighteen years, and he’d waited long enough. It should have been his turn now.


	14. Chapter 14

Artie rolled his eyes as he watched Blaine work. He should have been out in the kitchen, but there was something fascinating about this. Blaine just couldn’t stop himself from charming everyone. He would always blame it on the food, just insist that baked goods brought out the best in people, reminded them of their childhood, let them suffocate their sorrows in carbohydrates, but Artie knew they were all here for Blaine (okay, it was at least 70% Blaine - Artie had his fair share of groupies). Today was a little different, though. He was still his usual lovely self with the customers, reducing adult straight men to giggling children, making elderly women feel like princesses, but when he wasn’t talking to anyone he was quiet. Normally he would keep chatting but today he was stocking the shelves and cleaning the kitchen and icing the buns with an air of melancholy Artie didn’t think was possible.

“And there’s sixty-six change. Have a swell day, you two!”

Artie waited for the teenage girls to walk out, blushing, before wheeling up to the customer side of the counter.

“Talk to me.”

“What? Artie, I’m busy.”

Artie glanced around pointedly at the empty store.

“Fully stocked. No customers. You’re fine. Talk, boy.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Kitty’s better. Zach’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s great.”

“And Kurt?”

“Kurt hates me. It’s over. It doesn’t matter.”

“Blaine, I’ve never seen such a happy person look so sad. Baking and misery aren’t a good mix. You’ll get tears in the bread.”

“That’s against health and safety codes- oh. You’re kidding. Ha.”

Artie made a face at Blaine.

“Man, you need to snap out of this. You want me to take you out- to a club or whatever? I’ll take you to a gay bar. It’ll be fun. You need to get laid or something.”

“Artie! I don’t want to talk about it, okay? And I’m not going to that seedy fleapit in West Lima.” He took a deep breath, annoyed with himself for snapping at the mere mention of sex. “Although it’s really nice of you to offer.”

“Any time, boss. Blaine, I’m- sorry. If that was out of line.”

Blaine looked at his hands and wiped the spotless counter to keep them busy.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You really like him, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I really do.”

“We could close early if you want? Go talk about it somewhere else?”

“No. I just- want to work. Keep busy.”

Artie nodded.

“You got it.”

He was about to wheel himself out to the kitchen when the bell over the door rang.

“Is that- Artie Abrams?” a voice called out. He spun himself around.

“No. Way. Mike Chang, you beautiful human specimen, get over here!”

As they hugged and laughed and started talking, Blaine froze. He knew that name. Fuck fuck fuck.

“Blaine, this is an old friend of mine, Mike; Mike, this is my boss, Blaine.”

Blaine stood completely still at the counter, hoping against hope that this guy (who was at least a foot taller than him and looked incredibly muscular) wasn’t here to beat him to death. He tried to smile and was surprised to find a much more relaxed grin sent back to him.

“Hey,” Mike said, sticking his hand out, “Nice to finally meet you.”

“Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah. Hi.”

“Wait,” Artie interrupted, “finally? Are we famous for our amazing banana bread or something?”

“Not exactly…” Mike said, letting out a short awkward laugh, “I’ve just heard a lot about Blaine. I’m kind of dating his ex-wife.”

“Well. Shit. This must be really awkward for both of you.”

“No, not really. I mean, it’s not for me. I hope you don’t mind me coming in; I’ve just heard so much about you from Zach and Quinn, so I figured I should probably meet you in person. Is that… okay?”

Blaine had no idea how to casually bring up what had happened the week before, so he just nodded.

“Mm-hmm. Yup. Hi.”

“Man, it smells amazing in here. I guess I don’t get a friends’ discount yet, huh?”

“Um. I guess I could-”

“Woah, Blaine, I’m kidding. I promise to pay full retail price for any and all confectionery I purchase here. Could I get one of those big cookies? The white chocolate one?”

Blaine tried to cough past the lump in his throat, but it didn’t work. Maybe Mike knew about him and Quinn. Maybe he was lulling him into a false sense of security by being nice now so he could snap him in half later. Maybe she just hadn’t told him yet.

“Tell you what, there’s a fresh batch out the back;” Artie decided to chime in, “let me go get you one of those instead.”

He shot away, grinning at Blaine when realisation dawned on him that he would be left alone with Mike.

“You okay? Hope I’m not messing up your stock rotation-”

“Huh? No, I’m just- you’re nice. You’re being nice to me.”

“I like to think I’m nice to everyone.”

“Oh.” Blaine swallowed. “Okay. Good.”

“Blaine, I know. About you and Quinn. Last week.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am, if I could take it back-”

“I know. It’s okay.”

“What? You’re not angry with me?”

“Well, I was at first, but- we’ve talked about it. A lot. She was scared and freaking out and- I get it. I’ve seen people in emergencies, when their kids are in danger- you’re not in your right mind when that stuff happens. It messes with your head.”

“Oh. Well. Yeah. Thanks.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know. For understanding? For not hitting me?”

“Hey, it’s cool. I mean, she told me you’ve got a boyfriend, so I doubt this is gonna be a regular occurrence.”

“Well, I don’t anymore-” _No Blaine, he might be nice, but it’s still weird to talk to your ex-wife’s new boyfriend about your romance problems_ , “but I’m still gay. It still won’t happen again.”

Mike grinned. It was almost unnerving how nice this guy was. That big smile just made Blaine want to hang out with him and talk about life. He gave Quinn a high five in his head.

“I figured. So, how long have you had this place?”

“Well, I actually worked here when I was in high school-” He stopped when someone else walked into the shop. She almost knocked a stack of loaves of bread off of a table with her bump as she turned dramatically away from Blaine. “Brittany?”

“I’m not talking to you. But you didn’t notice me not talking to you all week, so I thought I’d come and not talk to you here.”

She turned her back on him to look intensely at a shelf of muffins. Mike raised an eyebrow at Blaine.

“Friend of yours?”

“Friend of my- of Kurt’s. Brittany-”

“You could have been our friend too, Blaine. We all really liked you. Why did you do that to him?”

“I’m sorry, look, I-”

“No, _you_ look- oh. Um. Ah!”

She winced, gripping her stomach and grabbing onto the edge of a table.

“Brittany? Are you-”

“Maybe. This – ow – this doesn’t mean I’m not still mad at you. But-” she sucked in a breath, “but I might need to go to hospital.” Blaine and Mike rushed over to her immediately, each taking an arm and trying to keep her calm – most likely for their own benefit rather than hers.

“Okay, uh, Mike, there’s a chair in the kitchen, could you get it?”

“Sure,” Mike disappeared, leaving Blaine with Britt.

“Listen, Brittany, you’re going to be fine. Both of you. I’ll just call an ambulance, and-”

“No.”

“What?”

“No time. Trust me, I’m really fast at this. You need to drive me. Oh, God, he’s early, Blaine – only a couple of weeks, but still, I-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” they both shook their head at Mike when he brought the chair out, “no problem. We’ll do whatever you need.”

“Santana. You need to call her. I need her. Oh…” she groaned, her face screwing up and her breathing getting faster. “Blaine, please call her?” He nodded and reached for his phone, but she shook her head. “She’s not talking to you either. Use mine.”

He and Mike ushered her out to the car, calling for Artie to watch the store, while he dialled Santana’s number.

“Santana. It’s Brittany. She’s gone into labour. I’m taking her to the hospital, okay, I’ll call you when we get there and keep you updated, and, uh, we’ll see you later. She’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Brittany,” Mike added, “my name’s Mike. I’m a doctor. You’re going to be fine. Let’s get you to the hospital so you can have this baby, okay?”

She nodded, instantly soothed by the calm voices around her and the firm hands supporting her. Blaine unlocked his car so he could drive, but she took his hand.

“No, Blaine- can you- I want you with me.”

“But Mike’s done this before-” Mike nodded to try and reassure her.

“I know, but- I want you.”

He looked at Mike, who smiled and produced his own keys.

They both kept her talking in the backseat of Mike’s car, about anything and everything to keep her distracted, but nothing worked – and not just because she was still trying to ignore Blaine. Every time they tried to talk about something else, she asked where Santana was.

“Call her again, Blaine. I- I can’t do this without her, okay, I just can’t, I,” she yelled a mixture of obscenities at him, “I need her, Blaine-”

“I know you do, we’re trying to get her, she’ll be there okay? I swear she’ll be there.”

“I’m still not talking to you, okay – not officially.”

“I know, Brittany, I know. It’s fine.”

She screamed and grabbed his hand. He bit back a scream of his own as she crushed his fingers. He didn’t risk asking her if it was labour or revenge.

They arrived at the hospital and Mike spouted some technical stuff at the first nurse he saw. Blaine understood ‘labour’ but that was about it. Apparently Brittany was just as lost, because she looked at him and kept holding his hand as she was lifted into a wheelchair and rushed inside. 

“Can you take it from here?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll be fine. Thanks, Mike.”

“Wish her good luck for me.”

Blaine nodded, and Mike drove away.

***

Kurt got a panicky phone call.

“Kurt, she’s- you have to take me to the hospital. Brittany’s, the baby, it’s time, and my car won’t start and fuck fuck Kurt I have to be there-”

“Fine. Santana, it’s fine. I’ll be there in ten, okay?”

They’d barely been in the car for two minutes and he could already feel a bruise developing on his arm.

“Can’t you go any faster?”

“Not unless you want to collide with that truck. We’ll get there.”

“You don’t understand, Kurt! You don’t know how fast it was last time. Of course I took thirty hours, but she was in and out in two. Go faster!”

“Hey, hey-” he said, grabbing the hand that was hitting him. “Breathe. You won’t be able to look after them if we die in a horrific accident. Now just keep directing me and I promise we’ll get there.”

“Okay. Next right. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry.”

“How are you, anyway?”

“You don’t have to-”

“No, I want to know. It’ll distract me. Yeah, just straight on here- have you spoken to Blaine?”

“Not since Monday. I saw Kitty yesterday, though.”

“Oh. She still an asshole?”

“Santana. She’s not- she’s had it rough lately.”

“Right, sure. How come you saw her, anyway?”

“Oh. She- she texted me from Blaine’s phone and met up with me to ask me to take him back.”

“Shouldn’t she have been at school?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Still not seeing how she’s not an asshole.”

“It’s difficult. She and Blaine were going through some stuff.”

“Oh, please. Blaine’s, like, the nicest guy in the- I mean. He’s awful. That bastard. Sorry, I can’t remember if we hate him or not.”

“We don’t.”

“Oh. So are you two-”

“You can go back to hitting me now.”

***

It was a blur. Brittany was actually pretty good at not screaming – she knew how much energy childbirth took and wasn’t about to use it all up wailing – but Blaine hadn’t been in this position in a long time, and he’d never seen it all go this quickly before. He blinked and they were in a white room, Britt in a hospital gown, her hand still clamped onto his, with a woman between her legs doing something that looked really uncomfortable. Blaine stroked Brittany’s hair, not caring that her forehead was drenched with sweat, and kept whispering encouragements to her.

“Just keep breathing… soon you’ll have a brand new baby in your arms-” 

“No, no, it can’t be soon, she’s still not here. She needs to be here, Blaine, I’m scared-”

“Well, Mrs Lopez, I’m afraid we don’t have time to wait.” The midwife bobbed up and peeled her gloves off. “It’s time to go into the delivery room. If you want your friend to come too, he can.”

She glanced up at Blaine, blinking tears out of her eyes.

“Would you?”

“Of course. Anything. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t get here, okay? You’ve got this baby’s whole life together. One day won’t make a difference.”

She sniffed and nodded, lacing her fingers together with his.

“Very well then,” the doctor announced, “let’s get this show on the road!”

A couple more people in scrubs appeared as if from nowhere and kicked the brakes off on Brittany’s bed. Blaine almost got shoved aside, but he didn’t let go of Brittany’s hand. As they got out of the room, they ran almost head first into Kurt and Santana, holding hands and panting. Santana ran to Brittany’s side, kissing her hair and taking her hand. Blaine tried to stand back, but Brittany was still holding onto him.

“God, honey, I’m so sorry, my phone died and I didn’t have any gas but Kurt brought me and I’m here now, okay, I’m not going anywhere, I’ve got you.” She kissed her quickly, first her lips then her hand, and looked up at Blaine and Kurt, having to stand awkwardly side-by-side in the narrow corridor. “I- thanks, Blaine. Really.”

Blaine smiled and nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. He felt like he wasn’t allowed to talk in front of Kurt. Brittany took a moment between sharp, controlled breaths to smile at Blaine.

“Will you stay? Please?”

“Oh, I-” he glanced anxiously at Kurt, “I don’t know if I should-”

“Of course you should, Blaine,” Kurt assured him, “it’s fine.”

“Okay,” he tried to say, but it came out as a strained whisper, “I’ll stay. Sure.”

There was a moment of silence and the midwife looked on, baffled.

“If we’re all quite finished here, we’ve got a baby to deliver. Let’s roll.”

Brittany squeezed Blaine’s hand and smiled at him one more time before letting go and being wheeled away for delivery. Kurt and Blaine watched as they disappeared around a corner.

“So. Looks like you were kind of a hero today.”

“No. Right place at the right time.”

“Blaine, don’t. She was lucky to have you there.”

They shuffled over to take a seat, assuming someone would find them when everything was over.

“No Mai?”

“She’s at Rachel and Finn’s. Asking after you, no doubt.”

“Sorry.”

Kurt shrugged.

“Not your fault she likes you. You’re pretty likeable.” Blaine smiled at him for a second before looking back down at his lap. “God, I hate to think of the state of your car right now.”

“Oh. We didn’t come in my car. Mike drove.”

“Mike?”

“Quinn’s… boyfriend. I guess. He just- came into the store today.”

“Jesus. That can’t have been fun.”

“He’s actually a pretty cool guy.”

“And does he know what happened? Last week?”

“Yep.”

“And he was okay with it? How come?”

“No idea. I thought he was going to hit me. He should’ve hit me.”

“Huh.” He paused. “Blaine, will you promise not to get mad at anyone if I tell you something?”

“Who would I get mad at?”

“Promise first.”

“Fine. I promise.”

“I saw Kitty yesterday.”

“Oh. Why would that make me mad?”

“Because she stole your phone and pretended she was you and arranged to meet me.”

“She what? I didn’t even realise it was gone! Oh God, I’m gonna-” Kurt looked at him pointedly. “I’m gonna… not get mad at all. And bake her a cake. Okay?”

“Yes. She did it for you. For us. Trying to fix stuff.”

“Oh. And?”

“I don’t know. I think… I think there are always too many people involved. Santana – she told me what she told you, and I’m going to kill her for it - then Quinn, now Kitty… A relationship between two men shouldn’t have this many women interfering.”

The word ‘relationship’ made Blaine’s spine tingle.

“Good point. But you know it’ll never be just us. There will always be our kids and our friends and my ex. Not that I plan on ever sleeping with her again, but-”

“I know you were scared. I think- I think I understand. One time, I was scared of being alone forever and I would up adopting a baby. My meltdown didn’t even get me laid.”

Blaine snorted.

“If it’s any consolation, it was terrible. I mean- I’m usually better, but I was drunk, and-”

“-And she’s a woman.”

“Exactly. It’s not like I wanted to do it, Kurt. You know that, right? I just-”

“I know. God, it’s all so dramatic.” he took a breath and leaned his head on Blaine’s shoulder, “I’m exhausted. I just. I want this. Us.” He leaned in further and reached down to lock his fingers with Blaine’s on top of the armrest between them. Blaine had to squeeze his eyes shut to stop them stinging. He pressed his lips to Kurt’s hair, feeling a tremble in his chest, before resting his cheek on top of Kurt’s head. “No more hospitals. No more hiding anything from kids, or friends, or exes. We’ve both had enough drama, Blaine. I just want you and me and the kids. Even Kitty.”

“Still? After- everything?”

Blaine felt Kurt nodding against his shoulder.

“I- I hope you never feel that scared again, but I want to be the one that makes you feel better. Like you did for me. That’s what got me about you and Quinn. I know it wasn’t about sex, but you- you went to her when you needed someone. I thought- you could need me, but-”

Blaine pulled away so he could look at Kurt properly, tightening his grip on his hand.

“I do. Kurt, I know I’ve only known you a couple of months, but I- I can’t imagine- I don’t know what I would have done without you lately. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met, and you’re funny and you’re smart and, well, you’re stunning, and- I do need you. I-”

Kurt looked up at him, blushing slightly.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” It was so soon, and there was so much at stake, but Blaine knew he needed to say it. He needed to say it because it was all he’d been thinking about all week. His voice cracked but he cleared his throat and carried on. “I’m just - really, stupidly in love with you. I thought I had to go back, for my family, but it’s not what I want. I want to go forward with you. I want- I want you to be my family.”

“Blaine-”

“I know it’s all really messy and I keep screwing everything up, but I want to try to be better. For them and for you. None of it seems so scary if you’re there. I guess I have a lot of growing to do, but- I’d love you to be there. Growing with me.”

Kurt’s blinking sped up and he swallowed hard.

“Blaine, I-”

“Kurt-”

And Kurt kissed him. It was brief but firm; they spent longer just hanging afterwards, smiling at each other an inch apart.

“You’re not screwing everything up. Not this. Not Kitty. Definitely not today,” he nodded down the corridor, “you’re doing fine – great, actually, momentary lapse in judgement aside. You can do this.”

Blaine tilted his head forward, eyes still locked with Kurt’s.

“You mean you-” _you love me back you love me back you love me back_ \- “You want-”

Kurt kissed him again, for longer this time.

“Yeah. I do.” Blaine opened his mouth to answer, to thank him for the second chance, to promise never to do anything stupid again, but Kurt shook his head. “It’s okay. Let’s just –be for a minute, okay?” Blaine nodded and wrapped his arm around Kurt, kissing his hair again and pulling him close, linking their fingers together on his knee. They woke up almost an hour later, still huddled together on two plastic hospital chairs, when a nurse gave them a nudge.

“Would you two like to meet someone?” 

They stifled yawns and stretched as they got up and followed her in the opposite direction of the delivery room. They both realised Brittany and Santana must have gone right past them to get to her room and held back a grin, still holding hands as they walked into a small room where two very sleepy, very emotional women were waiting for them, one in bed cradling a blue bundle and one sitting by her, a tiny hand curled around her little finger.

“He’s beautiful,” Kurt whispered, sitting on the end of Brittany’s bed. “How are you two feeling?”

They smiled at each other.

“We’re great,” said Santana, “thank you both. I don’t know what we would’ve- if it hadn’t been- I-”

She sniffed and wiped her eye with the back of her hand. It was the first time Blaine had seen her with smudged make up.

“Kurt,” Brittany said in an attempt at hushed tones, “are we allowed to stop hating Blaine now?”

Blaine, standing next to him, looked at him expectantly, as if he still wasn’t sure. Kurt smiled and took his hand, pulling him to stand between his legs.

“Yes. Definitely.”

“Then would you like to hold him?”

If they hadn’t already fixed things, the sight of Blaine holding the baby would’ve done the trick. Kurt glanced around, at his friends, at his Blaine, and he knew this was what he wanted too. This was his family.

They took turns holding him before saying their goodbyes and congratulations and, yes, crying a little, and Kurt drove them both home. They collected Kitty and Zach from Quinn’s. Quinn actually seemed relieved to see Kurt, to see that he was giving Blaine another chance, and they nodded respectfully at each other, knowing they would be in each other’s lives for the foreseeable future. They picked Mai up from Rachel’s (she’d had a play date with Henry anyway), and the five of them went back to Blaine’s. They made cupcakes, even though it was already dark. Blaine left extra batter in the bowl so the kids – _“Dad, I’m seventeen. But yes please.”_ – could lick it out in the living room while they got dinner. Kurt made sandwiches; Blaine sliced five apples and poured five glasses of orange juice. They piled food onto a tray, squeezing past each other with an ease that felt practised, knowing when the other would turn and what they were about to reach for and exchanging brief kisses between every movement: to the space between Kurt’s shoulder blades, to the shell of Blaine’s ear, and after passing the juice carton to Blaine, to the back of Kurt’s wrist when Blaine took his hand. It felt like a dance. There were no deep insights into feelings or actions. No declarations of devotion. They barely said a word, other than _‘Good luck getting Mai to eat that’_ and a cheeky _‘Challenge accepted’_. They smiled at each other in comfortable quiet.

When they brought everything through to the living room, there were rugs laid out on the floor and a DVD ready to watch – _Tangled_ , which Kitty had found out was Mai’s favourite and she knew Zach secretly loved even if it was ‘girly and stupid’ – and they all sat on the floor: Kitty and Zach whispering inside jokes to each other, and Kurt and Blaine with Mai tucked between them.

“I don’t like apples.”

“But you haven’t tried them the way I do them.”

“How?”

“The way I slice them makes them taste better. Trust me. I’ve been perfecting this method for years.”

Mai glanced at Kitty and Zach, who nodded very seriously. She bit into a slice with a furrowed brow and nodded in approval.

“Okay. Thanks, Blaine.”

She settled into Kurt’s side again, snuggling under his arm as she took another bite. Kurt stared at Blaine, mouth open, while Blaine crossed his legs in triumph with a huge grin on his face.

“But-”

“Watch the movie, Kurt.”

“Yeah, Daddy, watch the movie,” Mai said, her eyes wide as she stared at the lanterns on the screen. Kurt’s face stayed frozen in shock and Blaine snorted. He reached behind Kurt to lay a hand on his waist, pulling both him and Mai a little closer. By the time the film was over, Mai had curled up in Kurt’s lap and he was rocking her absent-mindedly, leaning on Blaine, a smile teasing his lips. Zach was clinging to Kitty’s arm, misty-eyed as the movie ended.

Kitty caught Blaine’s eye. She nodded at Kurt and Mai and he glanced at them and smiled. He looked up at Kitty again and mouthed ‘thank you’, not for speaking to Kurt the day before or for promising to behave better, but for wanting him to be happy. She smiled back.

***

It was Friday; another Friday in the routine they had fallen into so naturally. Kitty and Zach were at Quinn’s. Mai had already gone to bed, and Kurt and Blaine were on the sofa; Kurt sitting up, one foot folded up underneath him, Blaine tucked into his side with his head on Kurt’s chest and Kurt’s fingers playing with his hair. His arms were in their usual place, wrapped cosily around Kurt’s waist. It had been a long week, and they were unwinding, talking and breathing each other in. 

Blaine lifted his head up to look at Kurt, then leaned forward and kissed him. It was firm and steady and sure. When they parted, Kurt looked at him, eyebrows raised in question. Blaine nodded and kissed him again. Kurt reached down to take his hand, kissing him back and pulling him closer, and Blaine stopped only so he could stand up, pulling on Kurt’s hand until he was standing too. Kurt was about to ask if he was sure, if this was okay, but Blaine smiled, easy and calm, and kissed him again. He gestured to the door and let Kurt lead him to the bedroom, squeezing his hand and kissing him every other step.


	15. Chapter 15

**_\- A Year Later -_ **

Mai was confused.

She’d never seen her father or Blaine so tearful. Even Kitty was about to cry, and she hadn’t been all sad for… ages. It didn’t make any sense. Today was supposed to be a happy day, but now she was surrounded by boxes, piled up so they were taller than her, and a bunch of cry-babies.

“Kitty, why can’t I stay with you?”

“Because, munchkin, these two would miss you too much. And they’re already heartbroken at the concept of losing me.”

“But college looks so cool-”

“Whatever,” said Zach with a sniff, “I’m gonna turn your bedroom into my X-Box room.”

“You just wanna use it to make out with your girlfriend-”

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

“Zachary, stop arguing and hug your sister. It’s okay, we all know you’re going to miss her.”

“Am not,” he said, but it was muffled by her shoulder, where his face was buried.

Kitty gave him a squeeze.

“I’m going to miss you, too, bro. Take care of these guys for me, okay?” He nodded into her sweater. “The same goes for you, sweetie. Come here,” she said, picking Mai up with a groan. “Woah, won’t be able to do this much longer. Be good, okay?”

Mai nodded, wrapping her arms around Kitty’s neck.

“If I’m big now, can I stay here?”

“’Fraid not. If I have to feed you, I’ll starve. I’m a poor student now with nobody to make me cupcakes anymore.”

Mai frowned for a moment before nodding again. Apparently that was enough to put her off. Kitty looked at Blaine.

“You know,” he mumbled through his tears, “I’ll never let you go without cupcakes. We’ve already planned your first care package. You need anything wheat-based, you come to me, okay?”

She laughed and nodded, throwing her arms around him.

“Thanks, Dad. Love you.”

It sounded so casual; they knew it was anything but.

“I love you so much, Kitty-cat. Never forget it.”

“I won’t,” she mumbled, her voice cracking. 

She and Kurt glanced at each other, smiling awkwardly. Blaine gripped tightly to Kurt’s hand.

“Now, if there’s anything else you need, just call me, and I’ll give it to your mom so she can bring it next weekend when she and Mike come up. You’ve got your toothbrush, right? And enough towels? Are you sure you don’t need us to take you shopping for anything?”

“I’m sure. Come on, I’m gonna see you in a month. Get out of here before you start crying.”

Blaine laughed.

“What do you mean, ‘start’? I’ve been tearing up since last night.”

“I know, but still. There’s a tonne of orientation stuff to do. I don’t want you driving back in the dark.”

“Okay,” Blaine hugged her again, “Good luck with everything, honey. If there’s anything-”

“I know, Dad, I’ll call you. Now get out of here, loser.”

They both took deep breaths and Blaine forced himself to leave, bustling through the corridor with kids and partner in tow. They were all quiet as they got into the car. Blaine sat still for a moment, trying to get his breath back. Kurt held his hand, stroking over his knuckles with his thumb.

“God, I hope she’s alright up there. Her roommate seemed sweet, don’t you think?”

“Lovely. Blaine, she’s a great girl. She’s going to be just fine.”

“I know,” he sucked in a breath and heaved it out again, “I know. I just. Yeah. Hey, who wants takeout on the way home?”

Mai and Zach raised their hands.

“Oh, honey, I think I left my wallet at the front desk.”

“I don’t remember you taking it out-”

“I’ll just be a second, okay?”

He opened the glove compartment, grabbing a flat parcel wrapped in brown paper. He frowned, but decided not to ask any questions. They could talk about it on the drive back. He smiled, bemused, as Kurt ran back into the building.

Kitty spun around to see Kurt, breathless, standing in her doorway.

“Kurt, what are you- do you need to sit down?”

“No, I’m fine, it’s just- I wanted to give you this.” He handed her the parcel and nodded for her to open it. She pulled the paper off to reveal a framed photograph. “I thought maybe- I got one for your dad for his birthday, and I thought you could put this one up in here somewhere. Or keep it hidden if it’s too embarrassing. Up to you.”

She stared at the picture in front of her. It was almost exactly like the one she’d smashed at the bakery – they were all at some summer party (except this time it was in Brittany and Santana’s garden), none of them even looking at the camera. Mai’s dress was rumpled from trying to climb a tree, and she was sitting on the floor with Kitty and Puck playing pattycake. Mike and Zach were deep in conversation over burgers, Quinn absent-mindedly hugging Zach and kissing his hair while her hand was tangled with Mike’s, and Blaine was just leaning in to kiss Kurt’s cheek. All of them were smiling.

It didn’t look like most family pictures. It was kind of fragmented and confusing, but it was unmistakable. This was a family.

Kurt looked at his feet, nervously waiting for a response. Something along the lines of ‘thanks, I’ll keep it in a drawer so it won’t get broken’, but he was shocked to feel her arms thrown around his neck.

They didn’t hug a lot. It wasn’t because they didn’t like each other – there just weren’t a lot of guidelines on how to navigate this kind of relationship.

“I love it. Thank you, Kurt.”

He hugged her back, as hard as he could, stroking her hair and kissing her cheek.

“Don’t worry about it. I- I love you, Kitty.”

“Yeah, I- um. I love you too.” She cleared her throat. She’d managed to keep it together during the long, drawn-out goodbyes from before, but this was too much. She sniffed, feeling tears rolling down her cheeks. At least she had the comfort of knowing Kurt was having the same problem. “Look after him for me? Please?”

“Always. I promise.”

When Kurt got back to the car, they were well into a discussion on what food to get. Blaine took his hand when he got in.

“Find it?”

He was smiling, perfectly aware he’d never forgotten it. Kurt nodded, wiping tears from his cheek.

“Yep. Come on. Let’s go home.”

**_\- 7 years earlier -_ **

The apartment is silent when the phone rings. Kurt’s working from home again so he won’t miss it. He runs to the phone, almost falling over as he does it, but when he gets there he has to stop for a second. This is it. This is the call he’s been waiting almost a year for. He urges his stomach to settle, breathing deeply and slowly.

Come on, Kurt. You’ll miss it.

He picks up the phone with a trembling, ‘Hello?’

“Mr Hummel? Kurt Hummel?”

“Yes, yes this is Kurt.”

“I’m Nancy, from the agency. I believe you’ve been expecting our call?”

“Yes, I have,” _now hurry up and tell me,_ “is there- is there news?”

“I can do better than news, Mr Hummel. How would like a baby?”

He has to clap his hand over his mouth to stop himself from screaming. A whimper still manages to escape between his fingers.

“Oh God, I- yes. I would like that very much.”

They discuss details and flights and times for what feels like hours, and he finally thanks Nancy profusely before hanging up. He glances around himself. He wants to shout and throw up and cry, pop open a bottle of champagne, but it just feels- weird. The apartment is still quiet. He knows all of his friends are busy, and he doesn’t want to make them drop anything for him. It would just be nice if there was someone to get excited with; someone to pick up and spin around until they were dizzy. One other voice beside his own. He reminds himself that in less than a month, there will be.

He goes into the nursery, decorated months ago but rarely opened as arrangements fell through and his heart was broken time and time again. This time it’s really happening. He looks at the crib, the hand-made quilt, the mobile, the bookcase full of his favourite stories from when he was little, and he cries.

He’s happy. He’s happier than he’s ever been, but he wishes he didn’t have to be so happy on his own.

**_\- 9 years later -_ **

A lack of other voices definitely wasn’t a problem anymore.

“Dad, Dad, can you fix my hair? It came loose again.”

“Sure, sweetheart,” Blaine said to Mai, and Kurt knew his heart would always swell at Mai calling Blaine that. “Zach, have you got your lunch?”

“No, I didn’t have time. I was looking for my homework. I guess you’ll have to give me money so I can buy food at school.”

“Nice try, dude. There’s a whole loaf of delicious fresh bread in the kitchen; go make yourself a sandwich. And don’t forget to take some fruit.”

“Fine,” Zach groaned, grabbing a muffin. Blaine cleared his throat, braiding Mai’s hair while giving Zach a glare. Zach sighed and picked up a banana instead.

“That’s better.”

Kurt smiled listening to the noise as he looked at himself in the mirror upstairs. He’d changed a lot. There were new lines, new grey hairs, slightly less firm skin than when he got that phone call, no matter how many lotions he used. Life was definitely taking its toll, and it made him smile despite the risk of new wrinkles appearing. Then there was his favourite change of all – the silver band around his finger.

“Blaine, don’t forget to get gas. Dinner’s at Quinn’s tonight. Oh, and she asked if we could over at 8 instead of 7, so if you call Santana I’ll call Rachel,” he made his way downstairs as he spoke, and he looked at his watch. “Shit – I was meant to finish that presentation today. I’ll have to go into work.”

“Daddy, you swore-”

“No I didn’t. Get in the car.”

Blaine kissed her hair and let her go out, automatically passing her the blue backpack from the table.

“Everything okay, Kurt?”

He sighed, but he was smiling.

“Yeah, yeah, I just thought days off were supposed to be relaxing, but-” they both looked upstairs when they heard crying. Kurt rolled his eyes, but the smile didn’t fade. “But I guess that ship has sailed.”

Blaine grinned.

“Zach, get in the car. I’ll be out in a second.”

Zach did what he was told and Kurt and Blaine went upstairs to the baby’s room. Kurt reached into the crib and scooped her up, and she immediately calmed down. He held her close to his chest, stroking her back and shushing her, humming a little so she would feel at ease. He saw Blaine grinning at him.

“What?”

“You. This. Her.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re off duty today.”

“Hey, you know I’d rather be here.”

“I know. God, I feel like I haven’t had time to breathe since we got her. Why did we think another one was a good idea?”

Blaine sighed, puffing out his cheeks. They both knew the answer – all of this, the pigtails, the homework, the packed lunches, the lost sleep – it was exactly what they wanted. There was nothing they enjoyed more than being dads. Apart from maybe being dads together.

He smiled, kissing Kurt, then the little girl in his arms, then Kurt for a little longer.

“No idea. I’ll try and get off early, okay?”

“Okay. Have a good day. Love you.”

“Love you more.”

“Not possible.”


End file.
